Is there anyone else out there who is naturally lazy?

[Anonymous]

Add me to the group, OP. But I'm surprised most of you had kids. I couldn't fathom parenting on top of working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so lazy and I just don’t know how to change. I don’t like coffee. I just like lounging around. I find it exhausting to be around people and love being alone. I don’t know if it’s depression or what but I’m already taking Wellbutrin and don’t feel depressed at all. Never did. My doctor gave it to me for binge eating and laziness. Wish I wasn’t like this but I’m also so so so happy being alone and lounging. I’m not happy being around people or doing stuff.

Me too. I'm happiest alone. I get some energy if I'm outside but being around people totally drains me. I have no desire to go places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I saw your post earlier today and it's taken all this time to get up the energy to compose a response. I can totally relate. I don't know if I'm lazy, exhausted, depressed, unmotivated, or a combination of all of those. I'm a second grade teacher and give my all at work. I'm high energy and "on" all day. My classroom is immaculate. My home situation is different. My place is a mess. When I get home all I want to do is prepare a simple dinner and then veg in front of the tv. DCPS is off this week and I had grand plans to organize and clean my home. Well, so far that hasn't happened. I've spent a lot of time sleeping and watching tv. It's like when I have my "own" time I stubbornly resist being productive. I am hypothyroid but taking synthroid. I also have chronic pain (manageable) in my knee from osteoarthritis. I am so frustrated and mad at myself that I can't get motivated to take care of my home environment, and I really can't figure this out. What's up with the complete disparity of my work and home environments? I want to treat myself better, but don't know how to break this inertia.

I don't think you're lazy. I think you're tired, with good reason.

[Anonymous]

I’m jealous of these lazy posters who require 10-12 hrs of sleep then just like to plop on a couch and read. This is my dream but I have 2&4 yr old kids so I’m up at 6 and they have to be out of the house basically all day because they have too much energy. All I want to do is sit and do nothing

[Anonymous]

I am also low energy but make it my life mission to get my kids going- they hardly watch tv and hardly have time to lay around. I am hoping this will combat the laziness. When I grew up I hardly did anything. No activities. My parents were ok if I didn't turn in homework. And my childhood had a lot of tv! I don't know if these things are related to being lazy but I'm trying to do the opposite with my kids. It is exhausting though.

[Anonymous]

OMG I really really struggle with this. I am a persian immigrant so for me I always wonder if there is a cultural component to this. I grew up in Iran as a child and had a very...luxurious life. Beautiful home, long summer days lounging around by the pool with friends, afternoon naps, leisurely dinners with family and such. Moving to America was such a shock to my system. People wake up at 5 am and do not even sit down for breakfast! They come home at 9 pm and eat dinner in front of the TV. On weekends they wake up at 5 am, go jogging and then spend all day running erands and being "productive." In high school here every kid had 3 sports to practice after school and were busier than the parents.

Back home we came home from school and hungout with our friends and watched TV until it was dinner time.

I was 16 when I moved here so I guess my formative years were sealed. I am "lazy" by American standards. I despise long commutes and breakfast-on-the-go and this perpetual busyness that is worn like a badge of honor. My younger sister who moved here when she was 9 is totally American. Super type A and cannot sit still and berates my parents and I for being lazy and low performing.

I also feel deep guilt and shame for not being like other American women my sister emulates. Maybe I am lazy, maybe its culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I really really struggle with this. I am a persian immigrant so for me I always wonder if there is a cultural component to this. I grew up in Iran as a child and had a very...luxurious life. Beautiful home, long summer days lounging around by the pool with friends, afternoon naps, leisurely dinners with family and such. Moving to America was such a shock to my system. People wake up at 5 am and do not even sit down for breakfast! They come home at 9 pm and eat dinner in front of the TV. On weekends they wake up at 5 am, go jogging and then spend all day running errands and being "productive." In high school here every kid had 3 sports to practice after school and were busier than the parents.

Back home we came home from school and hungout with our friends and watched TV until it was dinner time.

I was 16 when I moved here so I guess my formative years were sealed. I am "lazy" by American standards. I despise long commutes and breakfast-on-the-go and this perpetual busyness that is worn like a badge of honor. My younger sister who moved here when she was 9 is totally American. Super type A and cannot sit still and berates my parents and I for being lazy and low performing.

I also feel deep guilt and shame for not being like other American women my sister emulates. Maybe I am lazy, maybe its culture.

For what it's worth, I am full on American, and have never had the schedule you posted above. I'm not a morning person. Luckily 2/3 kids are also not morning people. The middle child was a bit of a struggle, but we made it through the difficult years.I sit for all meals, I don't feel the need to have a full schedule for my kids, my spouse, or myself. I did well in school, and have a nice job, but actively worked to find a full time work from home position. My house is generally clean, but a million miles away from perfect. I let the dust and clutter build up, and then clean like a frantic mad woman if someone is coming over.

Some may call me lazy, but really I'm living a peaceful, relaxed life. I get a full night's sleep, read, sometimes go for walks, but make very few hard commitments outside of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG I really really struggle with this. I am a persian immigrant so for me I always wonder if there is a cultural component to this. I grew up in Iran as a child and had a very...luxurious life. Beautiful home, long summer days lounging around by the pool with friends, afternoon naps, leisurely dinners with family and such. Moving to America was such a shock to my system. People wake up at 5 am and do not even sit down for breakfast! They come home at 9 pm and eat dinner in front of the TV. On weekends they wake up at 5 am, go jogging and then spend all day running erands and being "productive." In high school here every kid had 3 sports to practice after school and were busier than the parents.

Back home we came home from school and hungout with our friends and watched TV until it was dinner time.

I was 16 when I moved here so I guess my formative years were sealed. I am "lazy" by American standards. I despise long commutes and breakfast-on-the-go and this perpetual busyness that is worn like a badge of honor. My younger sister who moved here when she was 9 is totally American. Super type A and cannot sit still and berates my parents and I for being lazy and low performing.

I also feel deep guilt and shame for not being like other American women my sister emulates. Maybe I am lazy, maybe its culture.

Ok, how are people in Iran able to have such a luxurious life? Is this the norm or were you from a wealthy family?

[Anonymous]

I am not but haven't always been this way. I was super type A until my 30s and then I just got burnt-out by everything - work, friends, DH. So now I do as little as humanly possible to get by.

[Anonymous]

I am not but haven't always been this way. I was super type A until my 30s and then I just got burnt-out by everything - work, friends, DH. So now I do as little as humanly possible to get by.

This is me. Only I'd say it was kids in my mid-thirties that tipped me over.

I think the ADHD PP has an interesting idea though. I always did think that it took me more energy to be "on" and present than other people. Plus I am a little introverted so being out in the world or hanging out with DCs is also somewhat draining. If indeed I am (andall the PPs are?) introverts with mild inattentive ADHD, I guess it would make sense that everyday life is more exhausting to me than those with a different disposition. I have also thought that if I had complete control over the structure my life and schedule, I would have more energy and "bandwidth." And I don't just mean by having more free time, but e.g. a different type of work schedule, more external deadlines, more administrative help.

[Anonymous]

I'm this way at work. There is no point working hard for a slightly higher pay raise every year screw that lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Count me in. I naturally gravitate to couch and book. I try to exercise, but the slightest pain or injury gives me an excuse to get back on the couch. I had to be a SAHM because I couldn’t handle work and kids/home.

Were you an active mom when you stayed home?

Or did you just plop kids in front of tv V

This is a good question! I knew I wanted two kids close in age so they could play together, and luckily that happened. I tried to make an outing or playgroup at least twice a week. I joined a gym with childcare, which got us out and me exercising. There were times they watched TV, but not too much. The screen addiction problem happened when they were school aged, but a different issue. Anyway, I volunteered a lot at school, but only task specific, not in a leadership way. I don’t have the energy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am also low energy but make it my life mission to get my kids going- they hardly watch tv and hardly have time to lay around. I am hoping this will combat the laziness. When I grew up I hardly did anything. No activities. My parents were ok if I didn't turn in homework. And my childhood had a lot of tv! I don't know if these things are related to being lazy but I'm trying to do the opposite with my kids. It is exhausting though.

I'm 22:52, who was too lazy/stressed to have children. My childhood was very structured. My "tiger dad" scheduled every minute of my day with piano, French, Kumon, exercise, team sports, church activities, on and on and on. I've always assumed my adult laziness is from burnout.

[Anonymous]

I'm naturally lazy and I was born naturally poor but to break the cycle I had to fight my laziness so I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Yes, it's linked to inattentive ADHD and is partly hereditary.

My son and I are like this.

Posting again to express my great surprise that it's only on page 4 that I'm the first to come along and mention inattentive ADHD. I'm a research scientist and had to have my son evaluated for ADHD, but I thought it was recognized in the general population as well. There is a reason, apart from the worldwide obsession with coffee, why you so desperately need your caffeine in the morning. There is a reason why stimulants for ADHD might work for you... because you might have ADHD! Inattentive and hyperactive ADHD are both treated in the same way, with stimulants, even though they have certain diametrically opposite symptoms. Hyperactive: can't sit still, always rushing, mercurial temper, flashes of brilliance, great talker, high energy. Inattentive: quiet, introspective, slow, prone to motor issues or hypotonia, thoughtful, low energy. Commonality: attention issues. Sometimes you can be diagnosed as "mixed type" if the psychologist evaluating you sees a few traits of each type.

Please don't call it lazy. By using the derogatory word on yourselves, you are perpetuating the shame and guilt placed on certain inborn traits that you cannot help! Don't make it so easy for others to dismiss and belittle you.

Don't forget that our traits are all linked together (genes). It's important to know this about ourselves to find the right job and the right mate. My mother, myself and my son, are all low-energy and slow, yet we are creative and thoughtful. We might not be one without the other, and this is a critical concept. You cannot separate the desirable from the less desirable in a human being without heavy intervention, either pharmaceutical or otherwise, and sometimes not even then. My son does very well in school and is respected by his teachers as a "deep-thinker". Of course he is. He's so slow. Goodness knows he takes the time to do it

Well, I'm 49 and have never been diagnosed with ADHD (and I doubt I will seek a diagnosis for that). So I'm not going to blame my low energy behavior on ADHD when I don't know it's that. Everything else tests normal and as long as I'm doing well at work (which I am) and can keep a roof over my head I will just have to accept my limitations.

PP you responded to.

I do not have a formal diagnosis either, it's rare that someone in my generation would seek one out if we've managed our life so far without major mishap. Yet my husband and my son have diagnosed ADHD (mild mixed type and severe inattentive, respectively), and I can see all my son's documented ADHD traits in myself, albeit milder - so I would probably be diagnosed as mildly inattentive were I to be evaluated.

And yes, I completely agree with you that it is all about accepting yourself as you are. Loving yourself. We are not lazy. We are not piling on the guilt. It's not burnout, except if we really do too much. It's just the way our bodies and brains work.

The real problem is that American society (above all other societies in the world) prizes multitasking and overworking. Not healthy, even for the super-energetic.