At what age did your friends start divorcing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 4 friends divorce last year at age 33-34, no kids for any of them. All got married around 27/28. I thought it was kind of odd since when you look at their stats, so to speak, they were all in low risk categories for divorce (didn't marry super young, educated, finances fine, etc). Have a 5th friend with a terrible husband who I hope joins them, but think she'll double down and have a baby.

These divorces don't surprise me one bit, I don't care what the stats say. Look closely at their relationships. They are almost all college sweethearts who dated for 5+ years, lived together, owned a dog, and all that crap before they often even got engaged. Today, people who get married at 27/28 are NOT marrying people they met at 25/26. 27/28 is prime time for an inertia marriage to start.

[Anonymous]

Huh. I never noticed a pattern. Maybe because DH and I are 10 years apart, so our friends have never been the same ages as both of us, if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

I’m 50. For most of my friends, when we finally got married (the earliest was late 20s, most in late 30s or 40s) they are staying married. But there’s quite a few who,couldn’t get married until they legalized same sex marriage, and some never bothered at all if there were no kids. More of my friends, myself included, became single mothers by choice than got divorced. I know four choice moms, and I’m struggling to think of more than one divorce. A bunch never married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ones who married in their early 39 s got divorced at 30.

I wish they would’ve put that time machine to good use instead of just getting a run of the mill divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had 4 friends divorce last year at age 33-34, no kids for any of them. All got married around 27/28. I thought it was kind of odd since when you look at their stats, so to speak, they were all in low risk categories for divorce (didn't marry super young, educated, finances fine, etc). Have a 5th friend with a terrible husband who I hope joins them, but think she'll double down and have a baby.

These divorces don't surprise me one bit, I don't care what the stats say. Look closely at their relationships. They are almost all college sweethearts who dated for 5+ years, lived together, owned a dog, and all that crap before they often even got engaged. Today, people who get married at 27/28 are NOT marrying people they met at 25/26. 27/28 is prime time for an inertia marriage to start.

Actually, not really. They all dated about 2 years (2 of the couples less than that) before getting engaged, married by year 3. Only one of the 4 couples lived together, the others didn't because they had lived with the college sweethearts/randoms and were ready to settle down and in a "marriage or bust" mindset. I think maybe they were more bids to "have it all" by 30 along with looking for partners they could "get serious with" after dating around like mad in their early 20s. It seemed to fit, it made sense, it fit the timeline, and they were willing to overlook some red flags in order to check the box at an age appropriate time.

[Anonymous]

We are mid 30s. We had 2 friends who were divorced within a year from people they married at 22. No one else has divorced yet. They're all still in baby making mode for the time being!

[Anonymous]

I am almost 38, and among people I know who are roughly the same age, nearly all the divorces are happening to parents of one child, under the age of 2. In one case, the husband started an affair during pregnancy and is now getting remarried to his mistress with the ink barely dry on his divorce decree. In the other handful of cases, it's just seems like the baby breaks the relationship. Pretty sad. I know one divorce of a two lawyer couple around our age...fairly typical, met in law school, cohabitated, she pressed for an engagement, he agreed, then it ended after about 3.5 years because there was no there there and their financial habits varied wildly. I don't think he ever really loved her and she loves everybody she dates.

[Anonymous]

When the youngest hits middle school. That's when the couple sits on the couch St 830 pm with nothing to do anymore except relax. And when they realize they should be reconnecting sexually but don't

You can basically predict the divorces by the amount of sex a couple manages to have when kids are young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Single woman in DC have the cream of the crop to pick from if they are looking for casual relationships.

Not sure where you get this idea from. DC is one of the most lop-sided dating markets in the country, since all the jobs here are professional and require college degrees. Not much blue-collar work. and the majority of university degrees are granted to women. Go look at the entry-level and mid-level staff at any non-profit and it'll be majority if not entirely female.

The opposite situation is in effect in San Francisco, due to the tech industry.

[Anonymous]

Two couples in our 40s divorcing so far. The men seem to enjoy their new-found freedom. The women seem to be a bit stunned. Not sure which side was behind the divorce.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends when you get married. In our group of friends, no one who married in their 20s is still with their first partner. Now we're all late 30s-mid 40s, and everyone is on a second spouse except those who didn't marry until their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am almost 38, and among people I know who are roughly the same age, nearly all the divorces are happening to parents of one child, under the age of 2. In one case, the husband started an affair during pregnancy and is now getting remarried to his mistress with the ink barely dry on his divorce decree. In the other handful of cases, it's just seems like the baby breaks the relationship. Pretty sad. I know one divorce of a two lawyer couple around our age...fairly typical, met in law school, cohabitated, she pressed for an engagement, he agreed, then it ended after about 3.5 years because there was no there there and their financial habits varied wildly. I don't think he ever really loved her and she loves everybody she dates.

It’s lack of sex, not the baby, which breaks the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When the youngest hits middle school. That's when the couple sits on the couch St 830 pm with nothing to do anymore except relax. And when they realize they should be reconnecting sexually but don't

You can basically predict the divorces by the amount of sex a couple manages to have when kids are young.

Exactly. Sex is the determining factor in most marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s here and this makes sense. We are coming out of the baby years when it was all hands on deck and when there was no sex in the regular sense

Now there is lingering resentment from my wife about all the things I did wrong, we haven't rekindled the romantic side and frankly we are spiralling away from each other. And yes, as a successful man, it is easy to see alternatives out there and the potential of never having an intimate life again is stifling.

There is no excuse ever to have an affair. Get a divorce, give her the house, a good settlement and child support/alimony and move on.

I don’t think there even is a single true word within this post^^^.
A sexless marriage is defacto DADT so it’s not really an affair just one sided open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am almost 38, and among people I know who are roughly the same age, nearly all the divorces are happening to parents of one child, under the age of 2. In one case, the husband started an affair during pregnancy and is now getting remarried to his mistress with the ink barely dry on his divorce decree. In the other handful of cases, it's just seems like the baby breaks the relationship. Pretty sad. I know one divorce of a two lawyer couple around our age...fairly typical, met in law school, cohabitated, she pressed for an engagement, he agreed, then it ended after about 3.5 years because there was no there there and their financial habits varied wildly. I don't think he ever really loved her and she loves everybody she dates.

It’s lack of sex, not the baby, which breaks the relationship.

Oh pls. Sex doesn't carry a long term marriage, lol.

Looking back at many of the people we've known I would say late 30's and 40's. All different reasons. One divorced her husband because he literally would not help with the kids. They both had f/t jobs. One wife cheated, but her life is crap. She's currently on her 2nd divorce. Her 1st husband is doing well. Many divorced over money problems, probably one of the biggest problems. Another couldn't stand her husbands family, kids from the first marriage, and finally divorced him. Marriage is hard no matter how you cut it. Loyalty, commitment, and compromise have to work in a marriage otherwise it will end in divorce, or unhappiness.