At what age did your friends start divorcing?

[Anonymous]

44.9

[Anonymous]

So far the only divorces I've seen in my circle of acquaintances are the starter marriage divorces. Those people got married to HS/college sweethearts and they lasted maybe 2-3 years. Some had kids, some didn't. Almost all went on to remarry and have kids and those marriages seem to be doing well.

The people I met in adulthood as already married all seem fine. I can think of one couple I am no longer friends with who are toxic people and might eventually divorce but I can say any of the rest of my group would be a shock if it happened.

[Anonymous]

My friends who are late 30s are divorcing right now. Im mid 30s and have never been married (I’m a single mom), but will probably be marrying my boyfriend in the next year or so.

[Anonymous]

Mid 40’s here and no one is getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid 40s here and this makes sense. We are coming out of the baby years when it was all hands on deck and when there was no sex in the regular sense

Now there is lingering resentment from my wife about all the things I did wrong, we haven't rekindled the romantic side and frankly we are spiralling away from each other. And yes, as a successful man, it is easy to see alternatives out there and the potential of never having an intimate life again is stifling.

There is no excuse ever to have an affair. Get a divorce, give her the house, a good settlement and child support/alimony and move on.

Most nonsense post ever bordering on extortion. So to get this straight, a woman can refuse to have sex which is the glue to a marriage and a man's only option is to leave his house to his wife and give up his assets and lose full time access to his kids? Why isn't the equitable solution for the cut off spouse to seek it elsewhere and the withholding spouse can leave or step up if they don't like the situation?

[Anonymous]

I’m early 30s and have been married a decade. Most of our friends in this area married in the last three years or are still single. Only a few have had a kid. I hope no one ends up divorced. Sad to think about but I know it’s reality.

[Anonymous]

In their 40s. Exactly where we are now. Let's see if our marriage will survive!

[Anonymous]

I think there are three primary bail out points:

1. After a year or two for those starter marriages where high school/college sweethearts get married solely because they happened to be dating each other when they reached graduation.

2. After the kids get to elementary school - as one of the PPs mentioned, it's all hands on deck during those baby/toddler years, and then some couples look up and realize how broken their marriage has become.

3. After the kids get to college - with the kids raised and gone, some couple see no remaining reason to be together.

[Anonymous]

We've had 5 divorces all 41-45. Seems more common at this age. Oddly none were starter marriages. But we're all genx... Will be fascinating when the later coupling millennials get here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no divorced friends. Honestly I don't.

That isn't something to be proud of.

[Anonymous]

There was a bunch of divorces before the kids were in elementary school.

Then a burst after the kids went to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are three primary bail out points:

1. After a year or two for those starter marriages where high school/college sweethearts get married solely because they happened to be dating each other when they reached graduation.

2. After the kids get to elementary school - as one of the PPs mentioned, it's all hands on deck during those baby/toddler years, and then some couples look up and realize how broken their marriage has become.

3. After the kids get to college - with the kids raised and gone, some couple see no remaining reason to be together.

Agree. We are hitting the second wave. And it's the couples you would NOT suspect at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no divorced friends. Honestly I don't.

Same. Maybe we are too young? We are all roughly 40.

I didn’t at 40 either. I am 45 now and lots of divorces around me lately.

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are late 30s/early 40s. We've each had a friend our same age divorce. My friend (divorced mid-30s, two kids 8 and under) I could have predicted would end badly. I couldn't believe they got married in the first place. My DH's friend was a little less obvious, but again it seemed to be a a bit off even at the wedding.

I know 2 or 3 other couples I'd put at High Risk for divorce. Mostly because one of the people in the marriage is a difficult person that can be charming. I think that wears off after a bit and two little kids later.

But the next 10 years will be telling I guess. I have high hopes for some of my closest friends, but you really can't ever know can you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no divorced friends. Honestly I don't.

That isn't something to be proud of.

It was a statement. Chill.