Anyone give up their career for family?

[Anonymous]

Gave up an exciting career in journalism, world travel, etc., for easier jobs that would have me close to home. I know many women do it, but I tried when they were young and for our family this is right. But I miss the adrenaline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

Was the subject of this thread ‘describe your career you had when you had young children’?? Was it ‘lecturing women about their life choices based on what I personally think’? Hmmmm

[Anonymous]

I gave up my IT job but it was worth it to have freedom, no obligations, no commute. I miss the sense of community, confidence, and having an identity but I feel healthier and my kids are healthier now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

Yawn.

I know, right?
I guess that I should have found a way to launch things into space whilst working from home, thereby making a difference in the world.

How about gynecology? Can you do that at home inbetween breast feeding? Only every 6 hours because everyone’s babies sleep 6 hours straight all the time, right?

Such practical advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

Was the subject of this thread ‘describe your career you had when you had young children’?? Was it ‘lecturing women about their life choices based on what I personally think’? Hmmmm

I think it was a response to the post above, which was like basically you stay at home or your life means nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH did. He left big law. He did a few different things for two years after DD was born, and then he and a friend started their own firm. They're both super involved dads and the main parents in each of their families.

What makes your husband the “main parent?” What a weird phrase.

How about the person who does all the mental effort in parenting such as knowing their child's clothing sizes, signing them up for enrichment activities, managing their child's schedule, et

[Anonymous]

We both gave up our careers. We were at the top of two different non-profit fields, but when our son was born we came to terms with the fact that we didn't love life in DC and we didn't make all that much money anyway for the amount of long hours and travel we did. We both started applying for other jobs and DH found one first, so we moved to an area with a much lower cost of living. I stayed home for awhile until I found a job. It was actually still in my field, but I don't love the actual workplace (still crazy stressful with overwork and underfunding), so I am now taking classes and interviewing for jobs in a completely different field that will allow me to work part-time while our kids are in school. We have no regrets in leaving our careers and leaving DC. I did worry at first - I went to grad school and worked hard to get where I was - but now our life is so much more laid back and we are so much happier. I kind of wish I hadn't gone for that career in the first place! But allowed me to gain experience and opportunities that lead me to the path I'm on now... I really see it as being one phase of my life, and now I'm in a different phase.

[Anonymous]

You only get one chance to raise your children well. As Jackie Onassis once said, "If you mess up your children, nothing else you do really matters." It's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did. We've had family issue after family issue and its never ending. Changing jobs or reducing hours isn't giving up a career. I completely walked away from mine.

My dream. What do you do for money?

[Anonymous]

I did.

I was a social worker and would top out at 50kz. It was draining and sometimes I felt like I did more hadn’t han good. My actual hours would have kept me away from my kids and I once broke down how much I was making per hour and it was about $9 an hour. I spent 5 years pouring my heart and soul into other families and got very little in return so it was a no brained decision for me.

I quit and once my kids are older I’ll go back part-time in a different field.

My wife couldn’t leave her field without severe repercussions and is the main breadwinner and would be making 3.5 times what I did. We can’t spend frivolously but we make it just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There's a similar thread in the Special Needs forum. I had to quit to help my special needs child.

Me too. I really had no choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did and I don't regret it. Nothing that I got from my job except money mattered. Once I realized that climbing corporate ladder led to nowhere, it was easy for me to step back and focus on my family.

There are several jobs that "matter." I advocate on behalf of cancer patients to ensure they and their families receive the care they need. I am also a pretty good mom. I'm not climbing a corporate ladder, but I'm paid well enough and want to make the world a better place while I raise children who also contribute to society.

It’s ok to say you enjoy your job and find its importance matters to you. But if you were to die tomorrow, they’d fill your position the next day. Would your role at home be so easily filled? Maybe THAT is what truly “matters”. Your job fulfills you most in life, just be honest with yourself.

I love my job too. I do important work that matters to others. But I’m not a fool. I know I’m easily replaced tomorrow. What matters most in life is within those four walls of home. I’m not as easily replaced there.

Funny you say that. I WOH, and surprisingly enough my cleaning lady does a better job than me and my husband cooks and shops just as well. Clothes are as clean when nanny runs the washer. When baby was napping 6 hrs during the day nanny was just as good at listening to the monitor. I do have flex hours so I worked from home the first year, which meant I could nurse my babies and see their milestones. Often I’ve been home to have lunch with them when they get back from preschool. I’m home by 4 and work after they sleep, so after they are done with their post-nap snack we play and have dinner and relax before bed. I do mommy and me classes on the weekdays and drive them to lessons. Their preschool teachers did a great job of working with them on social skills and a second language, and I felt they had a child-centered world and environment there which really helped their growth. Sure, no one can replace me as mom — the bonding and relationship is very important. But you can maintain that and WOH. Differentiating the role from the relationship and deciding which parts of that role you want and need to fulfill is part of that.

Finally, my work is in teaching and research. I’m sure they could replace me but no one will ever write the books and articles I’ve written. No one will have the mentorship relationship I’ve cultivated with students over the years. Similarly there are women out there who are serving their communities in all kinds of meaningful and rich ways. I think family is super important, and I’ve made career sacrifices to prioritize it. But I also think women can and should seek personal fulfillment in other ways if they want to, and the world is a better place for it. Since my children are always going to need and be part of a larger world and society, I find meaning in contributing to it and giving them a model of that.

I think you meant to say, “No one will ever READ the articles and books I’ve written.”

You should be grateful for the flexibility that you have and understand that many, many jobs do not allow for that. Hence, in order to be present parents, many people do have to give up their dream careers for something else.

[Anonymous]

I did. I was very passionate about my career, but it paid poorly and wasn't kid-friendly. Most women who decide to advance in the field also decide not to have children because it's so difficult.

Honestly, I haven't really come to terms with it. It was too stressful when I tried to balance work and kids, but damn, I miss it so much.