How comfortable do you feel around in-laws? Scale of 1-10

[Anonymous]

I'd say an 8. They are very generous and non judgemental. We see them quite often but they don't impose themselves on us.

[Anonymous]

FIL 6ish. Very polite, but has occasional anger management issues with DH. MIL - 1. Psycho who is constantly looking for drama and shit to stir up with all of her children and their spouses.

[Anonymous]

FIL 9. He's an extremely loving, caring person, who helps out whenever he can with driving to sports practices, homework, basically is always there when we need him.

MIL 6 or 7 (up from 2). A nice person overall who is a bit of a narcissist. She did a lot of passive aggressive and controlling things when the kids were little, but became much happier and more relaxed when she retired and wasn't exhausted all the time. Still loves to monologue and tell stories that we've heard hundreds of time before. Not much of a listener.

[Anonymous]

This makes me feel SO much better! Thank you, DCUM!

FIL I would say like a 7-8. We get along fine; he's a bit awkward in general but over time I've become accustomed to his awkwardness and I don't take it personally as often as I used to. MIL-figure (not actual MIL who is deceased but FIL's long-time GF) is like a 1-2 and that might be stretching it. She is highly anxious, has said offensive stuff on so many occasions I can't keep track anymore, and I feel anxious just having to be around her. But it helps to know I am not alone!

[Anonymous]

MIL is dead so about a 10 now.

[Anonymous]

About a 3. After 15 years of being their DIL, my MILand FIL told me they wouldn’t be able to recognize me from a line up of other Asian women. It hurt at the time because I went above and beyond to be a caring, thoughtful DIL.
Other than sending them referrals for eye doctors, I do the minimum for them, and I’m much happier.

[Anonymous]

Need a suggestion for a number! I adore and love my in-laws and they adore me. So that's a 10. BUT they speak Spanish. I speak about as much Spanish as they speak English, which is just barely functional. So if we are alone it's really awkward, so like a 1. I partially credit the language barrier for our positive relationship! (The other part is that they are actually just wonderful people.)

[Anonymous]

10. They are the parents I never had. Amazing people. Wicked fun, goofy, loving and incredibly supportive.

[Anonymous]

Oh your scale doesnt go negative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel perfectly comfortable with them because I see them for about one hour a year.

You are so lucky. I wish I was you.

[Anonymous]

I would say about a 2. After 25 years I know how these people operate and have my tactics to ignore, deflect, and duck my way out of just about anything. And if they don’t like it, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6. I bite my tongue a lot around them, but we usually have a good time together.

Same. I'd probably up it to a 7 or 8 only b/c I'm good a setting boundaries. When I need to "peace out" I do. Leave DH to host them or whatever.