How comfortable do you feel around in-laws? Scale of 1-10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:9 with my MIL (FIL passed away). Not best friends but...
-wear PJs in front of other and lounge on sofa together
-debate like family/say anything, and then all is well afterward
-have great conversations
-share dreams

+1, 8/9. Not like with my mom/dad but close. And getting closer. 5 years married.

[Anonymous]

I’d say 3. I only have a MIL.

I don’t like the way she treats DH (lots of guilt trips, passive-aggressive childishness), and I don’t like the time she tried to do it to me. I can tolerate her, but only in small does.

She also repeats stories over and over and OVER. It’s annoying.

[Anonymous]

7-8. Not as comfortable as my own family but they're great people, well-intentioned, and not looking for things to judge. They're also not particularly formal or easily offended, so I don't feel like I have to be on my best behavior. That said, I still feel like a guest in their house and especially with my FIL's wife the small talk can get stilted. But I have no real complaints.

[Anonymous]

7-8. They’re nice to me and the kid. Have their own issues but everyone is always civil. We all live close so they have a key to our house and pick up dd on their own and hang out with her at least once a week at my house without either parent there for a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the negative. Maybe a -5. I would like not to see them ever again. I really dislike them. I hate that they are in our lives but hopefully as they age, we will see them less.

[Anonymous]

6– just not a fan. We get along fine but have different values and personalities. They live close but choose not to be too involved in the grandkids’ lives. The kind that would write a check but not stay for the birthday party. The kind that would forget to send you their annual holiday letter to friends .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in the negative. Maybe a -5. I would like not to see them ever again. I really dislike them. I hate that they are in our lives but hopefully as they age, we will see them less.

Plus 1.

My FIL is absolutely awful and my MIL completely enables him. I'd like to be closer to her, but I don't see our relationship improving until after her husband dies, if ever.

[Anonymous]

6-7? I'm not nervous around them or anything, but I'm also not totally and freely myself. This is largely due to the fact that my MIL is both gossipy and judgy (I know this based on how much of other people's clearly confidential information she casually and unpromptedly reveals, always peppered with little judgmental commentary), so I feel like I have to be careful what I say around her. My FIL is a nice person but very conservative both politically and socially, so similarly I wouldn't say I am really myself around him although I don't feel weird if left alone in a room with him. I can make pleasant conversation with both of them pretty easily, especially now that we have kids. But as for ENJOYING their company...not beyond the first hour or two. They're coming for a 4 day visit and I will be quietly going crazy by midday day 2.

[Anonymous]

Ordinary social settings? A 6. Unless she starts talking about religion, politics, or women's right to equal pay (she's against).

And it's a -10 when it comes to watching a movie or show together. We once made the mistake of watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off with her. She tsk tsk'ed or shook her head 90% of the movie b/c the language offends her. It was the most uncomfortable 2 hours of my life.

[Anonymous]

FIL would be a 7. Totally chill and laid back
mIL goes between a 0 and a 7. She is so judgmental and snarky but not bad all of the time. She is a good cook and likes the kids but is super narcissistic and expects us to do what she wants when she wants it. Will pout is she doesn't get her way and guilt trips DH.

[Anonymous]

NP. I'm much more comfortable with strangers than I am with my in-laws.

[Anonymous]

A solid 1 for his parents and siblings. H is a about a 9 around mine. They consider him a son and he spends more time with my side of the family than his own.

[Anonymous]

Comfortable enough that when we visit, I will use MIL's toothbrush to polish up the tile grout. Love those people.

[Anonymous]

The extended family? Probably a 9, although distance makes it hard. My BIL and SIL are great and I love their kids. There are two favorite aunts. I'm in touch with countless cousins -- and this with a distance of thousands of miles.

My MIL? Maybe a 3, but they don't like her either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is there no option for a negative number?

I feel about as comfortable with my in-laws as I feel during a job interview.

I actually enjoy job interviews significantly more (if chosen for goodness of fit, you have similar career interests/areas of expertise; everyone's on their best behavior; you've been chosen over others to get to this point so you are valued to some degree -- I could go on!).