I am not feeling it for my second grandchild

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe how triggered some of the posters’ responses are. You all are the ones who need therapy. It’s normal to have different feeling for your kids or grandkids. You just have to keep those inside. OP should also know that there will be phases with these kids. In a couple years maybe she won’t be able to stand her grandson and her granddaughter will be the light of her life. Just do your best to keep it to yourself and remind yourself all the good things about your currently less favored grandkid. It’ll pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has a different relationship with her grandson because she was his daytime caregiver from birth to two. That connection is far stronger that posters realize.

I think you are going to have to carve out some alone time with the new baby, OP. Don’t stop seeing your grandson for his weekly outings, but find a time for just you and your granddaughter.

Good luck!

This. Plus comparing a five-year relationship with a six-month relationship is not possible. Figure out how to spend more alone time with granddaughter. As she becomes more interesting and her personality comes out more, you will love her more than you do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has a different relationship with her grandson because she was his daytime caregiver from birth to two. That connection is far stronger that posters realize.

I think you are going to have to carve out some alone time with the new baby, OP. Don’t stop seeing your grandson for his weekly outings, but find a time for just you and your granddaughter.

Good luck!

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is OP is a single woman or has a very checked out male partner and like many women, has enjoyed emasculating her young grandson and turning him into a helpless grandmas boy. No chance to render a girl so incapable or getting the emotional intimacy she craves. Get therapy, OP.

Well, this sums up what my MIL has done to her son and grandsons quite accurately.

Idk, OP. I have children but no grandchildren yet. I felt varying degrees of "it" with each child that tends to wax and wane depending on their stage of development and whatever else is going on with my life and stress levels. I assume it's like this for you and hopefully that baby girl will grab your attention once her little personality shines through. You sound like a wonderful grandmother the kids are lucky to have you so involved.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t feel as “smitten” with my second child as I did my first, but the feelings grew! Give yourself time as other PPs have said.

[Anonymous]

Nonsense! OP cares for her older grandchild every day for two years! Of course that is going to be a different bond! I would be shocked if it had anything to do with his sex and I don’t think she needs therapy!

She was alone with her grandson five days a week at least eight hours a day for two years!! That is incredibly bonding!

That’s not how it works. I was home alone with my oldest DC for two years 24/7 and still loved my second DC to pieces the minute DC was born. And yes, I know that a parent is different than a grandparent, but in this instance not that much (usually).

[Anonymous]

^ and I’m not suggesting that OP should be over the moon immediately, but not feeling it all after 6 months isn’t normal either.

[Anonymous]

Guys - this post is from 2018.

I'd be curious if OP has an update.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should feel guilty. That's horrible. If you let these feelings and preferences show outwardly, know that your grandaughter will feel it, she will be hurt, and she will remember it.

Speaking from experience.

I know this. How do I change my feelings?

Fake them

[Anonymous]

Op I can relate to you as I helped raise my oldest grandson while my daughter finished high-school then started working. He lived with me until he was 6 and spent almost everyday with me until dd had her 2nd son and moved into her own place. The bond I have with my oldest grandson is strong but it us up to you to open up your heart and let your granddaughter in. See her for who she is separate from your grandson and spend that time bonding with her. You are blocking your feelings for her in fear of losing them for your grandson.

[Anonymous]

Are both these kids from the same family with same parents?

I would try not to show obvious favoritism.

My friend cut off her mom because the mom favored only one child. My friend felt she did the same to her her entire life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My guess is OP is a single woman or has a very checked out male partner and like many women, has enjoyed emasculating her young grandson and turning him into a helpless grandmas boy. No chance to render a girl so incapable or getting the emotional intimacy she craves. Get therapy, OP.

Work on your reading comprehension before your fortune-telling, PP.

I the pp an encel?

[Anonymous]

From the point of view as a mom whose mom greatly favors one grandchild over the other, you need to figure it out ASAP. I'm sure your DD has already noticed, but will soon enough.

And then just wait till the kid notices around 6 or 7. They won't want anything to do with you.

I'm watching it play out right now and it's so sad.

[Anonymous]

I have several grandchildren and my favorite is whichever is not having a tantrum at the time!

[Anonymous]

Make time for your granddaughter. Invest in her. Give your relationship room to grow. If you are only focused on your grandson (even though you legitimately adore him!) you'll never give yourself a chance to bond with the new love in your life.