Tween boy with HFA has no desire to socialize with peers

[Anonymous]

The post quoted a PP. It's pretty easy to see who is talking to who. Not sure why anyone would jump in to defend a post they didn't make

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:AI is autism, CI is cognitive impairment.

[b]The core deficit of autism is a decreased desire and/ or ability for social engagement. That is what OP is seeing. OP can seek out social skills training, but from what I have seen the doesn't move the needle on an actual desire to hang out with other kids. The sole exception is if the child wants to do some shared video game.

Holy cow! No. It. Is. Not.
Stop spreading false information about autism.
Autistic kids WANT friends as much as other children.

[/b]
You are so incredibly ignorant here, im guessing you are part of the CI group

No, it is you my friend you are ignorant. Not all Autistic people want friends. My dd is happy to talk to someone but, does indeed does not crave friends like my NT dd does. My HFA will say to me I don't get Sarah wanting a best friend. And yet she is happy and gets socialization when she is in class and doing an activity. She had an internship and did very well.

I get it that the op wants her kid to want to have friends ( as I did too) but, I wouldn't push it. We did the socialization classes and she became an expert in the 'right' answer but, still has little desire. I think it might have something to do with the fact that she also has trouble remembering faces so she is embarrassed if she can't remember them ( just a guess though)

There is a place for everyone in this world, including your son and my dd.

To the pp above: there is a yahoo group you can connect with at

[e-mail]

To the immediate PP, you clearly lack reading comprehension skills for I did not say that ALL autistic people want friends. I said they want friends as much as NTs, and i know plenty of NTs who don't have or want close friendships. To put this for you in more simple terms which you may understand: some autistic people do not want friends. Some autistic people do want friends.

I am on the spectrum, i have immediate family members on the spectrum, 2 children on the spectrum, have discussed friendships as they pertain to autistic people and whether or not that is a requisite of diagnosis with 3 of the more highly tauted psychiatrists and neuropsychologist in this area.

I am also able to read text. It is absolutely WRONG to say that if a person wants friends they cant be autistic. It is absolutely ignorant and a misinterpretation of the DSM criteria which states that ASD can be recognized by social communication and interaction deficits. That statement is then followed by a list of how that criteria MAY be expressed. It does not state nor imply nor intend to imply that ALL autistic people have no interest in friendships.

The reason that your ignorance is dangerous is that should another parent appproach this board with a child who shows signs of ASD, but they read your erroneous statement that ASD = no interest in having friends, and their child has an interest in making friends, they might be prevented from seeking the appropriate help for their child.

Shame on you!

I am the pp you are shaming. The old adage is true. When you meet one person with HFA or Autism than you met one person with Autism or HFA. I am discussing my own experience with my own daughter. Great that you want to have friends but, no where in my post where I said the bolded ( it is absolutely wrong to say if a person wants friends they can't be friends) Maybe it is you with the reading comprehension problems? Either way you seem very hostile to other people's points of view or experience.

So shame on you for acting like a know it all.

When YOU say "the core deficit of autism is a decreased desire" for friendships you are plainly and purely wrong. Just stop.

Temple Grandin 's book, "Stories I Tell My Friends" likely had you sputtering about how Temple mustn't be truly autistic. Now please go educate yourself before spreading falsehoods on a public board where people are seeking genuine help. I am not a know it all, but I certainly know more than you.


To the OP my advice would be to ask her DC if DC feels lonely or wants to make friends and take it from there.

There is a parenting autism summit video series going on today wherein Dr. Dan Shapiro supports what a PP said about social skill deficits seeming to melt away when you find two kids who share the same driven interest.

I never said this in any of my posts. You must be referring to someone else. You can stop yelling at me now. Thank you.

To the pp above:

The bolded is not me. I responded to the person in the italic who then responded to me. But, they were quoting the bolded, which was not me. It is very easy to get confused but,it was not me who was.