How forgiving should I be of my friend dealing with infertility?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to post this in another forum, OP. Really, really rude of you.

+1

+2
Relationships or off-topic.

+3

Not only is this not the right forum for you to complain about a fellow sister going through infertility, but you are not a good friend. A good friend would bring her concerns to the forefront, not talk smack on an anonymous board, not to mention speak poorly of how she supposedly treated her sister and husband behind closed doors. News flash honey - siblings fight - and it is always the other sibling's fault. Spouses fight - and it is always the other spouse's fault. And one more for you, women going through infertility treatments are sometimes grumpy, sometimes it is their fault, but a lot of times it is the fault of inconsiderate a-holes like yourself who are judgmental and think that the world should dictate what a woman goes through and how she handles that which is infertility. Go suck a big one.

[Anonymous]

I think this was originally posted in another forum and moved here. Just FYI before we pile on OP.

[Anonymous]

She’s an awful human to be around? Put yourself in her shoes oP. Be a good friend or don’t be her friend at all. You are so nasty.

[Anonymous]

have you thought about saying two key things:
(1) you will be there for her when she deals with infertility and will listen;
(2) BUT tell her that as her friend of __ years, there has been a marked change in how she is acting and you know that this is not who she is...

[Anonymous]

Your friend is definitely hurting. It sounds like you are being very tolerant of her negative attitude, but maybe your friend needs a little more encouragement to think positively. Be up front and tell her that it's really hard to be around her when she's so negative. Tell her you understand that she's going through a hard time and that you want to be supportive. Encourage her to see a counselor or get into a support group. She may need to be around others who are experiencing the same issues. Above all, she just needs to know that you are praying for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Insult” you how? If it’s as bad as you say and you aren’t just being sensitive and self centered seems like she doesn’t want you as a friend.

It's hard to tell without more information about what you consider an insult.

Since your friend is in pain -- infertility ranks up there with cancer in terms of how difficult and socially isolating it is, because literally people cannot understand how it feels unless they've been there -- I suggest that you dig deep and try and see if you being more present to her could help. Maybe she is lashing out because she isn't allowed to talk about what she feels, or because it's so painful she can't bear to put it into words. If you could try to see the friend you know and love behind this and tell her, I know this really hurts and sucks and is so unfair. How can I be there? If that doesn't help her see you as on her side, then maybe you need to put a little space. But it honestly is very tough, so just think about the fact that her non-ideal behavior is probably a cry for help. Depends how much you care about her but if she really is such a close friend I think she deserves a little more than this.

BS. Infertility doesn't rank with cancer. Plus, how long has her friend been struggling with infertility? If she just started 2 years ago, well, what does she expect, you defy nature and then you have a right to be mad about it? I don't think so. If she started 10 years ago, she would have accepted it by now. Being rude and nasty is never ok.

NP. You are not a good person. And that has nothing to do with OP’s friend.