Why I'm going to medicate my kid with ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

Since school started?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks about the info about genetic mapping.

To answer the PP -- it's not going great. The psychiatrist started us on a low dose initially to be cautious (which I agree with) but it doesn't seem to be working. Our child is seriously out of control. More lying, stealing, hitting, aggressive behavior... he is such a sweet kid but zero impulse control. I could tell you about 7 stories from this past week alone that would make you go hmmm WTF?? One day I had three different people calling me with issues -- two from the school and one a relative who realized he had stolen something from her house. I was like take a number! Believe me I was not joking about this to him -- I'm just letting off steam.

How long are you supposed to wait before calling to increase the dose? I would not wait more than 2 weeks, and based on what you are saying, I’d only wait a week.

[Anonymous]

What med is he on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

Talking doesn't work. You need a behavioral system with clear rules and rewards for good behavior. Write down the rules in a prominent place. If he is good for the day, he gets a reasonable amount of time on the iPad at night. If a few mistakes, he loses iPad time. We use up to 30 minutes. You can set up the iPad with a pin code that only you have.

For some things, like not obey instructions, you can use the system in the book "1,2,3, Magic."

That's a pretty basic system. If you need something more than that, you should see a behavioral psychologist.

We have a positive rewards system.
We have been working with a psychologist that specializes in CBT.
We are familiar with 123 magic, love and logic, how to talk to kids etc
We’ve done it all.
I appreciate where you’re coming from. It’s just not that easy.

[Anonymous]

We set the iPad with a code that only I have and he completely disabled it from trying it too many times. Long story but it took me a couple months to get it working again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

Talking doesn't work. You need a behavioral system with clear rules and rewards for good behavior. Write down the rules in a prominent place. If he is good for the day, he gets a reasonable amount of time on the iPad at night. If a few mistakes, he loses iPad time. We use up to 30 minutes. You can set up the iPad with a pin code that only you have.

For some things, like not obey instructions, you can use the system in the book "1,2,3, Magic."

That's a pretty basic system. If you need something more than that, you should see a behavioral psychologist.

We have a positive rewards system.
We have been working with a psychologist that specializes in CBT.
We are familiar with 123 magic, love and logic, how to talk to kids etc
We’ve done it all.
I appreciate where you’re coming from. It’s just not that easy.

I know it isn't. It's a constant struggle for us too, but we've made some progress. Maybe you need to try a different system?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

Talking doesn't work. You need a behavioral system with clear rules and rewards for good behavior. Write down the rules in a prominent place. If he is good for the day, he gets a reasonable amount of time on the iPad at night. If a few mistakes, he loses iPad time. We use up to 30 minutes. You can set up the iPad with a pin code that only you have.

For some things, like not obey instructions, you can use the system in the book "1,2,3, Magic."

That's a pretty basic system. If you need something more than that, you should see a behavioral psychologist.

We have a positive rewards system.
We have been working with a psychologist that specializes in CBT.
We are familiar with 123 magic, love and logic, how to talk to kids etc
We’ve done it all.
I appreciate where you’re coming from. It’s just not that easy.

I know it isn't. It's a constant struggle for us too, but we've made some progress. Maybe you need to try a different system?

Yes, I think you’re right. We have to. He really would love screen time as an incentive, which we haven’t done yet, because he gets overstimulated. But we’re talking about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We set the iPad with a code that only I have and he completely disabled it from trying it too many times. Long story but it took me a couple months to get it working again.

You could lock the iPad in an actual safe. Believe it or not, that's where we have to keep the chocolate.

[Anonymous]

Excellent book:
"Punished by Rewards"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We set the iPad with a code that only I have and he completely disabled it from trying it too many times. Long story but it took me a couple months to get it working again.

You could lock the iPad in an actual safe. Believe it or not, that's where we have to keep the chocolate.

That is where we usually put them. We forgot yesterday. Last night after he went to sleep we put them in the safe. He woke up at 3:30, 5:30, and 6 walking around the house looking for them. I can’t deal!! It’s 615 am and I have barely slept.

[Anonymous]

How can I give him screen time as a reward now? I can’t deal.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you should call and ask to up the dose and if you aren't in family therapy, start. You have a lot to manage and professional help is needed and can help. Things will improve but it may take awhile. I would also talk to the doctor about sleep aids.

Not sure if you've seen this: https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/cant-sleep-cycle-of-exhaustion/

They have several articles on sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Excellent book:
"Punished by Rewards"

We’ve read Alfie Kohn’s work, including Unconditional Parenting, and watched a video lecture of his on DVD. I just don’t get how to address this type of impulsive behavior using his non disciplinary non reward-based approach. If you can explain to me how it would be implemented here, I’m all ears. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you should call and ask to up the dose and if you aren't in family therapy, start. You have a lot to manage and professional help is needed and can help. Things will improve but it may take awhile. I would also talk to the doctor about sleep aids.

Not sure if you've seen this: https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/cant-sleep-cycle-of-exhaustion/

They have several articles on sleep.

Thank you for the article. I appreciate it. I’m going to call the doctor about his dose.

I’m in therapy, I have previously been in therapy for insomnia, I’m medicated for anxiety, he’s in therapy, my husband and I are in marriage therapy. My younger son is in therapy (parent integrative). We have done family therapy for years previously.

We have a very structured pre sleep schedule for the kids and usually the one w ADHD can sleep through till 6:30 - just not when he’s overstimulated (iPad or just got birthday presents or Halloween candy is in the boys).

[Anonymous]

*the house