Why I'm going to medicate my kid with ADHD

[Anonymous]

So much research shows that meds + behavior therapy = improved outcomes. Don't overthink/ruminate and start the meds. If it doesn't work, stop.

[Anonymous]

Shouldn't parents be included in the therapy?

[Anonymous]

OP, I've made the choice to medicate my Adhd daughter and she, now at the age of 20, is also making that choice. As she puts it, if I hadn't made that choice for her she would likely have self medicated and she would surely have never gone to college. She is literally a 4.0 student with tons of ambition and drive. The medication freed her up to be herself by calming her brain.

I couldn't care less if society agrees with my choice, my decision saved my child and I'm damn proud that I did what I did.

Stop justifying your decision. Your child has suffered long enough, get him the help he needs. It's long overdue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that meds + behavior therapy = improved outcomes. Don't overthink/ruminate and start the meds. If it doesn't work, stop.

+1
It’s great to start with behavior therapy, but in many cases it will only be the combination of therapy and medication that makes the difference. We have zero regrets.
Do prepare yourself for a period where you may have to try different dosage levels and different medications, to get to the right fit for your child. Don’t give up on medication if your first trial doesn’t work—each kid is different. I have fraterinal twins, and they are on completely different medications at different dosages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do what you have to do!

But this gave me pause: "He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way." Is that really an ADHD symptom? Given that some ADHD meds can increase anxiety and aggression, please keep a close eye, and make sure the prescribing doc takes ALL symptoms into account.

I noticed that too and wonder if it is something like anxiety or OCD and not necessarily adhd.

[Anonymous]

OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

[Anonymous]

OP, we also debated whether or not to try medication with our oldest. She was diagnosed midway through the school year, and we wanted to see what supports at school could do for her. We also did therapy outside of school to address executive function and frustration issues. And it wasn't enough. Medication has truly made her life better, but I'm also glad we didn't rush into it. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP, we made the decision to medicate our son when he was failing every test in 4th grade on top of the social issues he was having. It was absolutely the right decision - he was able to succeed on tests and feel better about himself. The medication hasn't solved all the social issues, but it has helped our family dynamic tremendously. Good for you for doing what is best for him. And this is not an irrevocable decision - if meds aren't working for him, you can change to a different medication or take him off the medication. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I've made the choice to medicate my Adhd daughter and she, now at the age of 20, is also making that choice. As she puts it, if I hadn't made that choice for her she would likely have self medicated and she would surely have never gone to college. She is literally a 4.0 student with tons of ambition and drive. The medication freed her up to be herself by calming her brain.

I couldn't care less if society agrees with my choice, my decision saved my child and I'm damn proud that I did what I did.

Stop justifying your decision. Your child has suffered long enough, get him the help he needs. It's long overdue.

+1 My DS went on medication at 14 and after a few weeks told me he feels so much calmer at school. Between that and executive function tutor, this once apathetic student found a drive for school, stepping up into higher level classes he previously wouldn't consider even though the school had recommended he take them. Now our only school issue is that he wants to take 5 AP classes next year and I think that's too many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For so long I have resisted. I hate that the school system is not set up to accommodate very active kids (especially boys). I feel like if we lived on a farm, none of this would be an issue. I worry about side effects and unknown long-term effects. I am sick with worry about it.

But our kid is destroying my mental health and our family's ability to function peacefully. Every person in our family is in therapy. My DH and I are also in marriage therapy. My 9 year old kid with ADHD lashes out, lies, sneaks around and generally has little to no self control. He lacks almost any executive function ability. He yells, screams, hits. He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way. It's September and he's already threatened a teacher, stolen from the classroom, and lied about it. He sneaks food, he sneaks his ipad, he sneaks everything.

We have taken parenting class after parenting class. (At least 7.) We have been in therapy with him for years. I have read a number of parenting books, as has my husband. We give him regular protein snacks, protein at meals. We've cut out artificial flavors and watch his sugar intake (probably still too high but we try). We provide a structured environment. We do positive reinforcement. We make mistakes along the way. I've consulted with a developmental pediatrician. He's had two neuropsych exams. He has a 504. I'm on anxiety medication to make sure I don't transfer my anxieties and anger to him - and to try and help remain calm amidst all the chaos.

Everyone has recommended medication for him - and I just have not been able to do it. But we have an appointment with the psychiatrist next week.

What is the point of this post? I'm not sure. But mostly to say this: Yes, ADHD is overdiagnosed and kids with ADHD are overprescribed. Yes, it's a shame. I agree. But be light on your judgments. Some people are really struggling, even if it's not obvious from the casual observation. I don't think really anyone except a handful of people really understand how devastating this has been to our family.

I could have written your post when my child was 8/9 when we did decide that medication was the right way to go after doing everything you did. It has gotten so, so much better. He's able to concentrate in class, he feels confident about his abilities, he has a multitude of friends. We still occasionally get the big blow up (Fortnite is my nemesis), but my anger and anxiety has gone down that it is much easier to calmly respond when they do happen. I would also recommend that once you get him on medication, that you, yourself, seek some therapy to work through some of the residual anger and anxiety you have and help you cope. Good luck and big hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

This line comes up over and over again on this pro-medication forum. I wouldn't give my kid Tamiflu, no. And ADHD and insulin-dependent diabetes are not equivalent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

This line comes up over and over again on this pro-medication forum. I wouldn't give my kid Tamiflu, no. And ADHD and insulin-dependent diabetes are not equivalent.

OP here. Medicating a child long term should be a decision that’s not taken lightly. I don’t judge other people who carefully consider all the risks and benefits of medication for their child. I work in a line of work that centers around drug safety. So that had been a lot of my hesitation. I realize my initial post may be insensitive to parents who made this decision already. But I just hadn’t yet. And this is my thought process. Personally I think drugs should always be a last resort. Sometimes they can be avoided. I know others take different approaches and so be it. Everyone can do what they feel is right for them and their family.

[Anonymous]

And yes I vaccinate my kids. I give them Advil, antibiotics (when needed) etc. risk benefit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do what you have to do!

But this gave me pause: "He obsesses about things to the point of not being able to sleep and being very irritable when things are not going his way." Is that really an ADHD symptom? Given that some ADHD meds can increase anxiety and aggression, please keep a close eye, and make sure the prescribing doc takes ALL symptoms into account.

I noticed that too and wonder if it is something like anxiety or OCD and not necessarily adhd.

Thank you for your comments. It’s both anxiety and ADHD.