Why I'm going to medicate my kid with ADHD

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No time to read through the threads but we also resisted meds for hhree years. Did diet change, gluten free, acupuncture, put DC on an intense swim team, did behavioral stuff, took DC to naturopathic dr, etc. Finally put DC on meds. Best Decision Ever!

Great to hear all of these stories. Glad DC (and the other DCs from other comments) are thriving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re kid’s been suffering and you make it all about you.

No one cares if you medicate, op. Get over your damn self.

This. Parents like OP, who deny their kids the medication that would help them, for no good reason, make me angry. See 10:32’s post for a window on the world of difference medication can make to a long-struggling kid.

OP here. Ha! This made me laugh — in a good way. I probably do need to get over my damn self. It’s so overwhelming to have a kid like this I tend to get really overwh.

I lot of things with our kids seem overwhelming on the front end and then later when we look back we wonder why we thought it was such a big deal. Of course knowing that doesn't really help when you're in the middle of making a hard decision. We do the best we can. In our experience, medication has been life changing for our son and in a good way. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

OP, I don't think you are jerk but I do agree with the bolded. You are, perhaps inadvertently, casting a lot of judgment on parents who medicate without letting their kid spiral into such self-destruction first. It's medication. Would you have a parent let a kid suffer through a bad bout of pneumonia or the flu without medication, unless it's the very last resort? Do we need to wait until the kid is almost dead?

NP here. I didn’t get that sense at all that she was judging others who medicate.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the backlash against OP for taking too long to medicate is particularly helpful.
There is such a huge amount of judgment around medication for children with ADHD. It's unfortunate that, like many others, OP let society's judgment cloud what she needed to do for her kid, but she's turned the page, and that's a good thing.
More than one of the PPs mentioned that their only regret was not medicating sooner. While their children's cases were maybe not as severe as OP's child, it's clearly fairly common for there to be a delay in doing medication.
Congratulations and support to all families who are seeing great results with medication. Let's focus on spreading the word and hopefully swinging the pendulum back from socieity's knee-jerk anti-med thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I know this is very difficult for you, and I am trying to sympathize. That said, the tone of your post really struck me the wrong way.

You have cast this decision in a way that suggests that medication is a horrible thing to do to a kid with ADHD, and that you are such a great parent because you have gone to the ends of the earth to help your kid, but finally, finally, have no alternative other than the dreaded medication. That’s extraordinarily offensive to the many, many people who *have* medicated their kids (many to great effect, I might add), without all the angst and garment rending you display here. You are judging yourself for medicating him - well, I’m judging you for allowing a kid who obviously desperately needs help, a kid who, in your own words, is violent, lying, has no self-control, is irritable, threatening teachers, stealing, etc. to continue so long *without* medication. You can take your holier-than-thou attitude and stick it.

I sincerely hope the medication helps your son, and that you ponder how much better off he, and your entire family, would have been if you’d started him on it earlier. Jerk.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the backlash against OP for taking too long to medicate is particularly helpful.
There is such a huge amount of judgment around medication for children with ADHD. It's unfortunate that, like many others, OP let society's judgment cloud what she needed to do for her kid, but she's turned the page, and that's a good thing.
More than one of the PPs mentioned that their only regret was not medicating sooner. While their children's cases were maybe not as severe as OP's child, it's clearly fairly common for there to be a delay in doing medication.
Congratulations and support to all families who are seeing great results with medication. Let's focus on spreading the word and hopefully swinging the pendulum back from socieity's knee-jerk anti-med thinking.

I don’t think the data show society (in the US) has an anti-med bias. If anything it’s the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I generally am one who doesn’t like ADHD medication and don’t medicate my son. I think it should be a last ditch resort and is overproscribed.

However, sounds like your family is in the last ditch. No judgment at all. Hugs and crossing my fingers it improves your situation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the backlash against OP for taking too long to medicate is particularly helpful.
There is such a huge amount of judgment around medication for children with ADHD. It's unfortunate that, like many others, OP let society's judgment cloud what she needed to do for her kid, but she's turned the page, and that's a good thing.
More than one of the PPs mentioned that their only regret was not medicating sooner. While their children's cases were maybe not as severe as OP's child, it's clearly fairly common for there to be a delay in doing medication.
Congratulations and support to all families who are seeing great results with medication. Let's focus on spreading the word and hopefully swinging the pendulum back from socieity's knee-jerk anti-med thinking.

I don’t think the data show society (in the US) has an anti-med bias. If anything it’s the other way around.

As far as I know, the data is based on the medical establishment. I don't think there is any data on parent attitudes before they begin medication, but anecdotally, I'd say many parents are initially resistant, with the time period of resistance varying greatly. And many of us have had to go through the disapproving comments of friends or relatives.

[Anonymous]

DS diagnosed at age 16. Requested meds and we said ok so I'm another poster who believes Best Decision Ever. He takes only on school days. Wish we'd known by 6 or 7th grade as that would have been a great time to have started the meds looking back from today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS diagnosed at age 16. Requested meds and we said ok so I'm another poster who believes Best Decision Ever. He takes only on school days. Wish we'd known by 6 or 7th grade as that would have been a great time to have started the meds looking back from today.

+1 With DS who was diagnosed and started meds at 14.

[Anonymous]

How's it going OP? We started a stimulant recently and due to some side effects we stopped for a few days to evaluate and DS (age 8) asked for them again. He said that he couldn't finish his work in class, it was torture and that he felt more like himself on the meds. I was very surprised to hear his assessment as he not overtly introspective and on the meds he claimed to feel no difference. But once he stopped getting them h realized they helped....that made me feel better about it all.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, we also have a 9 year old with ADHD. We’re dealing with different issues than what you describe but we have gone back and forth on medication over the years for a variety of reasons. One thing you might want to consider for your DH and son is to get genetic mapping. We recently discovered Inova has a genetic mapping test to help identify which ADHD medications are metabolized by the body. Knowing this may help reduce trial and error prescribing or at least be helpful as you consider medication. Just a thought. https://www.inova.org/medimap/adhd

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks about the info about genetic mapping.

To answer the PP -- it's not going great. The psychiatrist started us on a low dose initially to be cautious (which I agree with) but it doesn't seem to be working. Our child is seriously out of control. More lying, stealing, hitting, aggressive behavior... he is such a sweet kid but zero impulse control. I could tell you about 7 stories from this past week alone that would make you go hmmm WTF?? One day I had three different people calling me with issues -- two from the school and one a relative who realized he had stolen something from her house. I was like take a number! Believe me I was not joking about this to him -- I'm just letting off steam.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am at a loss as to how to discipline him effectively for this because it is literally constant. I mean constant. Multiple issues a day. He's just spiraled out of control this past month. We sit him down and give him a serious talk and then 5 minutes later he's sneaking his ipad and hiding it under his pillow. We locked confiscated toys in the garage, and he woke up at 7am, found the keys, and opened a heavy metal garage door to get his toys while we were asleep.

Talking doesn't work. You need a behavioral system with clear rules and rewards for good behavior. Write down the rules in a prominent place. If he is good for the day, he gets a reasonable amount of time on the iPad at night. If a few mistakes, he loses iPad time. We use up to 30 minutes. You can set up the iPad with a pin code that only you have.

For some things, like not obey instructions, you can use the system in the book "1,2,3, Magic."

That's a pretty basic system. If you need something more than that, you should see a behavioral psychologist.