Italy ending Child Support and redefining divorce laws

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe in equal share custody. No such thing.

How so? Court-appointed split of calendar year or intervals of time shared. Seems pretty simple to implement. Also gives both parents a chance to see their children.

I don’t think it’s in the best interests of the kids.

+1

Children belong with their mother. Period.

XH's can be responsible fathers by paying on time. That's all that's needed from them.

. Holy shit! Please tell me you don’t actually believe this. I know plenty of men who are better parents than their wives. The male hatred in our society is out of control.

Men are absolutely f*cking useles. Every one of them. That's what I believe.

M

I hope you don,t have any sons. Or daughters for that matter.

You are a perfect example of a mother childrens’ father should only have to prove that he is not a violent felon or a psychopath in order to be given primary custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe in equal share custody. No such thing.

How so? Court-appointed split of calendar year or intervals of time shared. Seems pretty simple to implement. Also gives both parents a chance to see their children.

I'm divorced and ex-DH and I get along and coparent well. The kid definitely would not like a 50/50 split of time. DH's job is much more inflexible than mine and he works a lot and travels on a regular basis for work. There are also circumstances where both parents can't afford housing in the same neighborhood due to income disparity, which could mean each home is zoned for different schools. I have a bigger home and do the bulk of the after school activities because my house is the base and we don't live right next door to each other. He pays child support. Having that one size fits all policy isn't a good idea. I'm all for that as the starting point, but you have to take into consideration the individual circumstances. My good friend's husband is a consultant who is gone during the week and is home on the weekend. How would the no child support/equal custody rule work there? I would be fine with the equal custody/no child support if we lived in the same neighborhood so we had the same school zone, and if ex-DH had a job where he was home on a regular basis. That just isn't the case.

All the things you describe here are valid and exactly why I applauded that crazy judge a couple of years ago who suggested the the KIDS be awarded the family home and the parents need to figure out how to move in and out during their custody weeks! As a child from a broken home whose life was seriously disrupted due to my parents' divorce, I was cheering--YES!!!! The two of them were able to "move on" and go about their lives with minimal disruption after the initial chaos of the divorce. But I was 8 and had to put up with being shuttled back and forth between two places and two bedrooms and two sets of clothes (or remember to bring the ones I wanted with me!)...every week for the next 10 years. Misery!
And if the parents were forced to experience this, maybe they'd figure out it's not worth the hassle and stay married!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Italian women are largely not having kids anyhow. Who this will impact most is the poorer immigrant population and I suspect this will mostly hurt women and kids who are already vulnerable.

The only ones affected right now are those with Italian marriages because their alimony law went into effect last year. Child support is next year and I think the immigrant population has more pressing concerns to worry about than how to separate from the person they jiurney a 1,000+ Miles over land and water with.

And the Italians are doing everything they can to kick out the immigrants from Italy. They are hugely unpopular and resented. They won't care how the laws affect the immigrants. And this particular one won't because most immigrants are culturally conservative and won't divorce for religious / cultural reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great idea. And I'm female. I believe children would benefit if fathers shared more child rearing. You're not a father if you have the kids one weekend a month.

Ideally, yes.

In reality? Not every man is a good father. There needs to be flexibility. My sister is divorced. Her husband, while a nice man, is not capable of being a 50% parent. He just is not. His idea of spending time with his son is going to a park and spending the entire time on his phone while the kid runs around or sits around, bored. And he's clueless on so many things about childrearing and what's appropriate or not appropriate for children. And will always be. That's just who he is. It would hurt the child if he was forced to spend 50% of his time with his father and would probably make their relationship more difficult.

And I say the same for some mothers too. There has to be a system that allows courts to award majority custody to one parent over the other because that's the best for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great idea. And I'm female. I believe children would benefit if fathers shared more child rearing. You're not a father if you have the kids one weekend a month.

Ideally, yes.

In reality? Not every man is a good father. There needs to be flexibility. My sister is divorced. Her husband, while a nice man, is not capable of being a 50% parent. He just is not. His idea of spending time with his son is going to a park and spending the entire time on his phone while the kid runs around or sits around, bored. And he's clueless on so many things about childrearing and what's appropriate or not appropriate for children. And will always be. That's just who he is. It would hurt the child if he was forced to spend 50% of his time with his father and would probably make their relationship more difficult.

And I say the same for some mothers too. There has to be a system that allows courts to award majority custody to one parent over the other because that's the best for the child.

Women THINK men are incapable of child-rearing just because they go about it in different ways. Maybe the child doesn’t need to be pecked over 24/7, hmm? Anyways, widowers, single fathers, and gay fathers manage to raise perfectly well-adjusted children. Give the men a chance and stop being so stodgy.

[Anonymous]

I love how divorced/divorcing parents are on here being self righteous about the ‘best interest’ of the child. Well- I can think of a few things that were not in your child’s best interest, mainly either your divorce or not being adults after the divorce.
Before anyone jumps all over me- yup, abuse is another category- but also, why the hell did you make babies with your alcoholic/abusuve/work obsessed husband or wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love how divorced/divorcing parents are on here being self righteous about the ‘best interest’ of the child. Well- I can think of a few things that were not in your child’s best interest, mainly either your divorce or not being adults after the divorce.
Before anyone jumps all over me- yup, abuse is another category- but also, why the hell did you make babies with your alcoholic/abusuve/work obsessed husband or wife?

My father wasn't an alcoholic when I was younger. He became one when I was about 9 or 10. The worst decision my mom made was staying with him. It was emotionally toxic for me and my sibling. We tried to escape at every opportunity by going to friends and family. People can change over time. In an ideal world we'd all be perfect and be able to predict future behavior. I'm glad you were able to marry someone who remained consistent, but not everyone is as fortunate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great idea. And I'm female. I believe children would benefit if fathers shared more child rearing. You're not a father if you have the kids one weekend a month.

Ideally, yes.

In reality? Not every man is a good father. There needs to be flexibility. My sister is divorced. Her husband, while a nice man, is not capable of being a 50% parent. He just is not. His idea of spending time with his son is going to a park and spending the entire time on his phone while the kid runs around or sits around, bored. And he's clueless on so many things about childrearing and what's appropriate or not appropriate for children. And will always be. That's just who he is. It would hurt the child if he was forced to spend 50% of his time with his father and would probably make their relationship more difficult.

And I say the same for some mothers too. There has to be a system that allows courts to award majority custody to one parent over the other because that's the best for the child.

Women THINK men are incapable of child-rearing just because they go about it in different ways. Maybe the child doesn’t need to be pecked over 24/7, hmm? Anyways, widowers, single fathers, and gay fathers manage to raise perfectly well-adjusted children. Give the men a chance and stop being so stodgy.

We find that men who have a child, and the mother is around, are not as involved as the mother.

[Anonymous]

The dad is still paying all her expenses by getting taxed up the wazoo for their social safety network. This has no analogy in the American system guys b

[Anonymous]

Let's see

1) tumbling birthrate
2) high unemployment
3) one of the worst gender equality ratings in the EU
4) laws crafted by and benefiting wealthy men

Italy has put the cart before the horse- work on gender inequality and economy first- then concern themselves with what is equitable in a divorce settlement.

Or make marriage and children so unpalatable and economically disadvantaging to women that they have to implement "The Handmaid's Tale" if they want more Italian babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see

1) tumbling birthrate
2) high unemployment
3) one of the worst gender equality ratings in the EU
4) laws crafted by and benefiting wealthy men

Italy has put the cart before the horse- work on gender inequality and economy first- then concern themselves with what is equitable in a divorce settlement.

Or make marriage and children so unpalatable and economically disadvantaging to women that they have to implement "The Handmaid's Tale" if they want more Italian babies.

This. Not sure why any Italian woman would want to have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see

1) tumbling birthrate
2) high unemployment
3) one of the worst gender equality ratings in the EU
4) laws crafted by and benefiting wealthy men

Italy has put the cart before the horse- work on gender inequality and economy first- then concern themselves with what is equitable in a divorce settlement.

Or make marriage and children so unpalatable and economically disadvantaging to women that they have to implement "The Handmaid's Tale" if they want more Italian babies.

All of this. This law was written for an by men like Berlusconi, so they can cat around without financial consequence if their wife is fed up enough to to leave.

[Anonymous]

Looks like good policy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looks like good policy

Bunga bunga baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is a great idea. And I'm female. I believe children would benefit if fathers shared more child rearing. You're not a father if you have the kids one weekend a month.

Ideally, yes.

In reality? Not every man is a good father. There needs to be flexibility. My sister is divorced. Her husband, while a nice man, is not capable of being a 50% parent. He just is not. His idea of spending time with his son is going to a park and spending the entire time on his phone while the kid runs around or sits around, bored. And he's clueless on so many things about childrearing and what's appropriate or not appropriate for children. And will always be. That's just who he is. It would hurt the child if he was forced to spend 50% of his time with his father and would probably make their relationship more difficult.

And I say the same for some mothers too. There has to be a system that allows courts to award majority custody to one parent over the other because that's the best for the child.

Women THINK men are incapable of child-rearing just because they go about it in different ways. Maybe the child doesn’t need to be pecked over 24/7, hmm? Anyways, widowers, single fathers, and gay fathers manage to raise perfectly well-adjusted children. Give the men a chance and stop being so stodgy.

Calm down, dude. The post explicitly said "not every man is a good father." It did not imply what you are claiming. There are lousy parents out there of both genders. That's why mandating 50%/50% split custody between two parents isn't always a good idea.