Always impressed by couples that are married for a long time with no kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Duh! I see so many unhappy families with kids and I feel pretty smug that my DH and I are childfree. We are together because we love each other and not staying together for someone else's sake.

I feel sorry for you. You literally don't know what you're missing.

+1. You do not know what you're missing...and don't waste your smugness Bc trust me, it is us that pity you.

[Anonymous]

The happiest marriages I have ever seen are childfree. They truly love each other and enjoy being together.

[Anonymous]

The happiest marriages I've seen are ones where they do have kids and both are on the same page about it: they love it and felt fulfilled raising them.

Not everyone is meant to have kids. But some people are and wouldn't/couldn't be happy without them.

[Anonymous]

Happily married, almost 20 years with our first child leaving for college soon. We got married and I got pregnant quick, because we were older, so I honestly don't know what it's like being married without kids. I adore my husband, but I'm really not sure if we'd still be together if we'd never had kids. I think that has less to do with him than me -- I'm not sure why I would even bother getting married if not to have children. If kids weren't going to be in the cards for me, I think I would rather have been a free agent. Or I might have married someone very different from my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your marriage isn’t great and you would’ve bailed if not for the kids. Lots of marriages (maybe not the majority, but still lots) don’t require all that hard work because the people in it are highly compatible and attracted to each other. Those people would stay together with or without kids.

This is about me (the first line). I am so jealous of compatible couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I feel the opposite. That children are life’s greatest joy, so it’s stupid to wait.

Vomit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time I feel like this isn't working out, I know that I have to make herculean efforts before ending it because it would be so hard for my kids to live without one or the other of us full-time. I think kids are resilient and they'd be ok in the end, but it would be a tough road to get there and I don't want to do that to them. Marriages have ups and downs and I don't think I'm a big enough person that I would have pushed through the downs without the fear of wrecking my kids' stability. Whenever I hear about people who've been married 15+ years with no kids, I'm so impressed!

We are without one of the biggest stressors!

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP. Without the desire to create a family (AND I DO NOT THINK THAT IS A BAD THING), I can't see the draw of longer term monogamy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I chose not to have kids. I'm sure our friends think we're rock solid. Honestly I'm just afraid to leave him because he's my only family. If I had kids, at least I wouldn't fear being alone in the world.

Same story here, if I'm being honest

NP. This is so sad. Can you both join some meetup.com groups? Life is too short to not live your lives fully. Go join one right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I chose not to have kids. I'm sure our friends think we're rock solid. Honestly I'm just afraid to leave him because he's my only family. If I had kids, at least I wouldn't fear being alone in the world.

Same story here, if I'm being honest

NP. This is so sad. Can you both join some meetup.com groups? Life is too short to not live your lives fully. Go join one right now.

I have plenty of friends. But no one takes care of you in the bad times like family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were married for 10 years before we had kids because of infertility. We now have three kids under 6, so we have experienced both extremes in terms of how parenting or nonparenting impacts a marriage. I will say that we haven’t really had ups and downs in our marriage. In our lives definitely. Infertility puts a stress on your life in a way even three little kids does not. But our marriage has always been easy and solid. I think some marriages are just like that. They don’t take a lot of work because they don’t have a lot of points of conflict.

So you have plenty of money, sex and time, thus no points of conflict?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been married 15 years. Couldn’t have kids. We go on several vacations each year, own a boat, and both work full-time. I always thought I’d be a mom but it didn’t work out. We enjoy our life and our relative freedom, but we also know we are missing out on a huge life experience.