Always impressed by couples that are married for a long time with no kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

same here. kid #2 highlighted that everyone needed to fix his or her bad habits or else the family would sink.

[Anonymous]

I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

+2. And the minor issues before kids all became much bigger fights with kids. (And I'd say I'm still relatively happy - 4 out of 5 - just recognize where the stressors lie.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

Agree 1000% We were together for 18 years before we had a kid and while we love and adore our DC, having a kid changes the dynamic completely. Your relationship goes from being lovers and best friends to "parents".

Kids are bad for marriage

[Anonymous]

I don't know... sure, they don't have the added "incentive" to stay together that having kids brings, or the added complication of having kids if they were to divorce, but a divorce would still uproot their lives in many ways even if they don't have children. If you're married to someone for 10 or 15 years or more, it's still difficult to untangle your lives (and property!) in a divorce. That could certainly create enough incentive to stay together when things get rocky. While it may be "easier" for them to divorce compared to a couple with children, that doesn't mean a divorce would be easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some people are not meant to be parents. And that's okay.

Agree with this, the sad part is how many people this is true of that went on to have some anyway.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. After the initial post baby newborn meltdown, our marriage got much better then before. we have a collective goal of raising the baby and we have a lot more fun hanging out w our goofball kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

Agree 1000% We were together for 18 years before we had a kid and while we love and adore our DC, having a kid changes the dynamic completely. Your relationship goes from being lovers and best friends to "parents".

Kids are bad for marriage

+1 This. Not everybody has the resources for sitters for date night, weekends away etc. And kids are a lot of work, especially when they're little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

100% this.

[Anonymous]

"Impressed"? Odd choice of words. The couple is immature and selfish. Nevertheless there are worst life choices, so I'll keep my mouth shut, it's their business ... but "impressed"? Not a thing to be impressed about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:...why on earth would that impress you?

Relationships are fun and easy and relatively carefree before kids get involved. You both get plenty of sleep, lots of free time, and you're not (near as) worried about money / schedules / responsibilities. This just makes sense

People are different. That ^ lifestyle wouldn't be enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Duh! I see so many unhappy families with kids and I feel pretty smug that my DH and I are childfree. We are together because we love each other and not staying together for someone else's sake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think kids (or things related to the kids) cause 99% of the problems for most people. I don’t think we had one fight in the four years before we had kids. We had plenty of money, time, fun, etc.

In some ways I can see this. The biggest recurring fight we have is who is doing more with the kids and house. HOWEVER, that said, I also think having the kids gives us more meaning and purpose in life than we'd have without them.

In a way, raising them is a like a shared hobby but it's more than that. It's nice to live with the one person who is as interested in them as I am. They bring us together more than push us apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Duh! I see so many unhappy families with kids and I feel pretty smug that my DH and I are childfree. We are together because we love each other and not staying together for someone else's sake.

I feel sorry for you. You literally don't know what you're missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Duh! I see so many unhappy families with kids and I feel pretty smug that my DH and I are childfree. We are together because we love each other and not staying together for someone else's sake.

I feel sorry for you. You literally don't know what you're missing.

Huh? What am I missing? Spending hours making small talk with other parents while some pipsqueak plays laser tag? My time is way more valuable than that.