How reasonable a request is it to expect your husband to make a good salary?

[Anonymous]

Just based on superficial judgement of my fellow elementary-school-kid-aged parents, people tend to pair up with someone who matches them. A couple outliers but that's why they're outliers. Probably a few more overweight husbands than wives. At a different SES-level it would be slightly weighted the other way.

At happy hour at a cool lounge downtown, I'm sure the dynamic is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The amount of money a man makes has nothing to do with what kind of father/husband he'll be.

x10000

Not to mention, OP, he and his family will only tell you what he wants you to know. What you have to find out on your own, and you will, will not be pretty. His outside persona may be "flawless", but you have no idea what his baggage is, IRL. You sound like one of those naive "grass must be greener down the street" types who tries to compare other woman's husbands to yours. Sorry your guy from Harvard did not work out, but next time, work on yourself, and the rest will follow. Not everything is what it appears on the outside, including you. The best dads I know have a big heart, not a big wallet. The big wallet guys are usually a-holes because guess how they got their money? Ultimately, by being an a-hole - maybe not in the every day ways people would see until you live with him, then it is too late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just based on superficial judgement of my fellow elementary-school-kid-aged parents, people tend to pair up with someone who matches them. A couple outliers but that's why they're outliers. Probably a few more overweight husbands than wives. At a different SES-level it would be slightly weighted the other way.

At happy hour at a cool lounge downtown, I'm sure the dynamic is the same.

x1000

OP, if you look for a man with money, you will earn every penny (not in a good way).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
My husband is a research scientist finding cures for heart disease and cancer, and will never ever make more than 100K in public research.

I am proud of his work and public service.

I hope OP is a troll. If she isn't, she has my pity.

I don't necessarily agree with OP, but this IMO is not that different to the physical standards some men have of women -- she must be no smaller than a C cup, not be more than x lbs overweight, etc...

That would be 0 pounds. For men an women. Overweight is a dealbreaker.

For a supermodel. Stop pursuing supermodels: pretty guys with Beemers or whatever.

Being "not overweight" does not mean being a supermodel. Not even close.

Women want supermodels. Princes: $150K or more, status, flashy job, I’ve League, etc. And those guys probably won’t tolerate less than a hotty.

Not all Ivy or high end college graduates make a lot of money. Smart guys always marry smart girls. Smart guys don't want some bikini model self-selling type who is going to burn through their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man 30 years old and above should make at least 120k. In this city that’s the bare minimum. By mid 30s he should make at least 150k

Then he’s husband and father material.

Wow. Aren't you a treat.
So you don't believe ANY men should EVER be public school teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just based on superficial judgement of my fellow elementary-school-kid-aged parents, people tend to pair up with someone who matches them. A couple outliers but that's why they're outliers. Probably a few more overweight husbands than wives. At a different SES-level it would be slightly weighted the other way.

At happy hour at a cool lounge downtown, I'm sure the dynamic is the same.

Your fellow parents are people who have married. People who haven’t found the right person, in this area with lots of expectations all around, have on average different standards of beauty and different expectations than married folk. Maybe.

[Anonymous]

Not all Ivy or high end college graduates make a lot of money. Smart guys always marry smart girls. Smart guys don't want some bikini model self-selling type who is going to burn through their money.

Men _you_ consider smart don’t marry bikini models. And “always marry smart girls”? Being emphatic doesn’t mean you’re right. Evidence please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m mid-30s and make 400k give or take. Now what is it you plan to contribute?

How much do you bench press? I think that is the number that really matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man said he wanted his wife to earn good money instead of being a SAHM, the DCUM women would decry him as shallow and materialistic. Just sayin'

My husband said that when we were dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just based on superficial judgement of my fellow elementary-school-kid-aged parents, people tend to pair up with someone who matches them. A couple outliers but that's why they're outliers. Probably a few more overweight husbands than wives. At a different SES-level it would be slightly weighted the other way.

At happy hour at a cool lounge downtown, I'm sure the dynamic is the same.

No, always many more overweight wives than husbands at the elem school PTA meeting. One sees the same thing everywhere else.

[Anonymous]

US Median Household Income...around 56,000. PG County Median Household Income...around 76,000.

[Anonymous]

If my daughter, holds a spouse of any gender to this model, I will be seriously disappointed you sad, shallow, sob.

[Anonymous]

Marriage sounds awesome, where do I sign up?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for leaving all the kind, funny, decent men — who happen not to be high-earners — for the rest of us.

I wish you well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The amount of money a man makes has nothing to do with what kind of father/husband he'll be.

This, this, this. In fact, they can be inversely proportional.

Yup. Look at Trump. Not meant to be political, here, but he’s the one who bragged about never changing a diaper.

Can't stand the "man", but I would not change diapers if I was a millionaire either.

WTH? My DH is a BIGLAW partner who made 750,000 the year our first was born, $1.4 million when our second was born, and $3.5 million the year our third was born. He changed diapers for all three kids. They were, after all, his children. He also held them practically nonstop, even if it meant typing on his computer with one hand.

And you know what? When we got married (at 30) he worked for the government, and we both made less than 100K annually. I didn't marry him for his earning potential. I would have been content if he had stayed in the government. Heck, that's still where our closest friends work. I married him for so many other reasons, including his desire to be an involved and committed father.

You people are weird. If you want a high HHI, go out and earn it yourself. But if you want a life partner, you'd better look for more important qualities.