Call Me By Your Name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is a 17 year old senior and a 24 year old who has graduated college and is in the work force - the gap seems much broader (financial difference, stage difference, less in common).

17 and 24 could be two young adults or it could be a child and an adult - depending on the dynamic and their development. Age doesn't define maturity.

It's a 17-year-old in a summer villa with his parents who sits in his parent's lap. The first thing the 24-year-old says to him after the first encounter is, "I hope I didn't ruin you."

[Anonymous]

Also the scenes where Oliver massages Elio are super uncomfortable..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Think off the top of your head all of the movies with heterosexual relationships involving a 17-year-old female and a male in his early 20s, and then wonder why you think this is so unacceptable.

Off the top of my head I really can’t think of any. Help me out.

Is Big with Tom Hanks unacceptable because he’s 12 but looks like he’s mid 20s?

Big counts. Other movies with age-inappropriate relationships include Twilight, Lolita, Animal House, The Crush, Tadpole, The Graduate, American Pie, Wild Things, Manhattan and probably a dozen other Woody Allen movies.

Edward and Bella were both 17

Wasn't Edward really over 100?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of women screeching about two young gay men?



You obviously know nothing about the gay world. This is very normal. In fact the age disparity isn’t even that much. There are even old/young gay fetishes involving multiple decades.

If you’re bothered by it, yes, you’re a prude. There is no padeophila here.

Did you read the book? Or watch the movie? Obviously, they were bisexual since Oliver got married and Elio had a girlfriend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of women screeching about two young gay men?



You obviously know nothing about the gay world. This is very normal. In fact the age disparity isn’t even that much. There are even old/young gay fetishes involving multiple decades.

If you’re bothered by it, yes, you’re a prude. There is no padeophila here.

Ok, Kevin Spacey.

[Anonymous]

It's high time for an actual gay person to step forward and speak on this topic.

Agreed that the other poster is correct. The age disparity between 17 and 24 is meaningless in the gay world. I was 16 when I had my first sexual experience and the other was 21. Summer job. At 17 I had a brief fling with a 23 year old. Summer job too. In neither instances did I ever feel that I was being preyed upon or that there was a power issue. Gay men are just....different.

I know you're all mothers and there aren't fathers posting on here. But play a little game, won't you? Ask your husbands if they'd be upset if your 17 year old son had a brief summer fling with a 24 year old girl. The mamas will likely get upset, the papas will roll their eyes and quietly high five the sons even if only in their imagination.

[Anonymous]

I thought it was cute when the one guy stuck his woo woo in the other guys poo poo. I started to well up with emotion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's high time for an actual gay person to step forward and speak on this topic.

Agreed that the other poster is correct. The age disparity between 17 and 24 is meaningless in the gay world. I was 16 when I had my first sexual experience and the other was 21. Summer job. At 17 I had a brief fling with a 23 year old. Summer job too. In neither instances did I ever feel that I was being preyed upon or that there was a power issue. Gay men are just....different.

I know you're all mothers and there aren't fathers posting on here. But play a little game, won't you? Ask your husbands if they'd be upset if your 17 year old son had a brief summer fling with a 24 year old girl. The mamas will likely get upset, the papas will roll their eyes and quietly high five the sons even if only in their imagination.

Look, I wish I were wrong about this, but kids these days actually are still kids. When I was 17 I was very independent: traveled alone, made my own MD appointments, worked to pay for my own expenses (including stuff like car insurance), figured out how to deal with birth control on my own, etc. My 16 and 17 yr old relatives are *nothing* like that. Helicopter parents have successfully infantilized these kids and frankly, their peer group by proxy. And this includes delaying sex and drinking (there is data on this). You should see the thread on here now about letting teenagers fly alone to visit a grandparent. It's just a different proposition than 17 yr old me boning a 24 yr old (which I most certainly did).

[Anonymous]

The entire movie was cringeworthy and I had my husband and the couple we went with giving me dirty looks the entire time until husband of my friend told us they were leaving early and my husband asked if he could go to, so we all left.

This was disturbing on so many levels and I feel the filmmakers took advantage of a time where it is PC to let anything go. But this. was pushing it. If it was a27 year old man preying upon and thats what it is a 17 year old girl, oh boy can you hear the "me too" movement already? I cannot even impinge.

And it was intentional that the 17 year could. have been a gangly 13 and Armies character could have been easily in his mid 30''s, makes it even the more gross and hard to watch.

Many scenes made me uncomfortable like the massage scene and even when the parents were sitting by the pool and the wife said something to the effect of letting her son go with him to the other city, I mean really? She knew what was going on, that was like pimping out your UNDERAGE son. I know Europeans are more liberal in these areas but still he was underage. I could not get to like his character either. His sad face and skinny lanky body reminded me of how vulnerable and young he was.

On all counts a most disturbing movie (except the scenery of course)

[Anonymous]

Wow. I read the book, loved it and couldn't wait to see the movie. I thought it was beautifully done. I didn't find it creepy at all, but maybe that's because I read the book, which is mostly interior thoughts. I thought it was super sexy and romantic. The relationship is not presented as exploitative in any way in the book. There is definitely mutual consent. I agree that Armie Hammer looks older than 24 - that's undoubtedly part of what people are reading as creepy. I think Timothée looked 17. I'm a parent of a teenage boy, but I could care less about the legal age of consent as applied to a movie or book. It's art, not reality. There wasn't any power imbalance illustrated here and it's only a few years difference. To characterize this as abusive is really extreme and unmerited.

Clearly, the father felt he'd missed out on something in life and that's what his speech was about. I assume he was bi and never had a m/m relationship and wished he had. Or something.

I might be wrong, but Europeans seem less rigid about these matters. (age difference, etc.)

BTW, I think the term "pederasty" went out in the 19th c and referred to homosexuality in general, not sex with children. (could be wrong, didn't google it) Surprised to see someone using it in this day and age.

Definitely deserved the Oscar for adapted screenplay. When I heard they were making a movie of this book, I was surprised. It seemed like it would be hard to adapt since, as I said it's mostly interior thoughts with not much action. Highly recommend the book.

[Anonymous]

I will second the PP the book was good, found the movie disturbing and frankly it kind of tainted the good book that it was. The characterizations made are difficult for most to relate to from Armie's character to the young kid even to the parents.
Funny we did not walk out, but I noticed at least 6 or.7 people in our small theater who did.

[Anonymous]

I just saw this movie on a plane ride and was blown away by how beautiful it was. Agree the father’s speech was amazing, as well as the long shot at the end with the closing credits.

The scenery alone made me want to move to 1983 Northern Italy and have someone take care of my laundry and food while I swim, lounge by the river, read, play piano, and drink smoke and dance with friends. But the love story and subsequent heartbreak is very real and believable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw this movie on a plane ride and was blown away by how beautiful it was. Agree the father’s speech was amazing, as well as the long shot at the end with the closing credits.

The scenery alone made me want to move to 1983 Northern Italy and have someone take care of my laundry and food while I swim, lounge by the river, read, play piano, and drink smoke and dance with friends. But the love story and subsequent heartbreak is very real and believable.

Yes! (well, not the smoking due to asthma, but everything else). The novel is set in Bordighera, Italy, on the Italian Riviera right over the French border. I'll be in the general region this summer and we're hoping to make a stop there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finally saw it last night. Thought it was visually beautiful, but couldn't shake the feeling it was NAMBLA propaganda/fantasy porn. Kind of ick.

Had the same reaction. Not comfortable with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just saw this movie on a plane ride and was blown away by how beautiful it was. Agree the father’s speech was amazing, as well as the long shot at the end with the closing credits.

The scenery alone made me want to move to 1983 Northern Italy and have someone take care of my laundry and food while I swim, lounge by the river, read, play piano, and drink smoke and dance with friends. But the love story and subsequent heartbreak is very real and believable.

I saw it on a plane early last year and thought it was a fantastic film. It's so well directed, acted, written, and edited. The mise en scene is perfect and transports you to Europe of the 1980s.

Then again, I studied filmmaking at NYU and noticed lots of intricacies that most folks won't appreciate or pick up. But you can certainly tell it was created by a team of masters at their craft. It's rare to see such well crafted films these days. Also, I never felt like there was a lull in the film.

I'm a straight cis man and some of the graphic sex scenes were a bit much for me (the scene with the nectarine ). But it didn't detract from the film for me. Thank god I was in a solo seat in business class on an international flight