Am I entitled to any govt support if my ex spouse is fairly well off but won’t pay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, OP again: what I wanted to do is get by somehow until the green card - getting free food, if need be. Then file for divorce. It's not like I was planning to be on food stamps forever.
I am in a pinch as officially I am a well off person with above average annual family income, yet, I am broke.
I don't know, maybe we should just cross the border into Canada as refugees...

You can go to food banks but you won’t qualify for food stamps for yourself. However you might want to look into what your child qualifies for since they are a citizen.They might qualify for free breakfasts/lunches at school and that will help.

I would definitely look for a cheaper 1 bedroom or even a studio. And your top priority needs to be finding FT employment. Whatever you can get. What is your employment background?

will food banks ask questions? I know this is incredibly stupid but not being a person of color or an elderly person I just think they will suspect I am trying to fool them.
Also, for the free food at school - officially I (he) still has this above average income.
My background is admin/EA/project manager type of work.
The apartment is pretty inexpensive since it was rented a long time ago. I could score something for, say, 1800 instead of 2000, but not in the immediate area. I also tend to cling on to the present place irrationally...also it will be stress for the child as it is with dad moving out.

No the food banks won’t question you. Especially the church based ones. For the school, you absolutely can have you child qualify. You need to inform the school that your husband is no longer in the picture and is providing minimal support. You can apply based on your income.

Where are you located that you can’t find a less expensive apartment? There are a million super sleuths on the Real Estate board here that can probably help identify a new place for you.

For the job - contact temp agencies on Monday. You need FT employment now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, OP again: what I wanted to do is get by somehow until the green card - getting free food, if need be. Then file for divorce. It's not like I was planning to be on food stamps forever.
I am in a pinch as officially I am a well off person with above average annual family income, yet, I am broke.
I don't know, maybe we should just cross the border into Canada as refugees...

You can go to food banks but you won’t qualify for food stamps for yourself. However you might want to look into what your child qualifies for since they are a citizen.They might qualify for free breakfasts/lunches at school and that will help.

I would definitely look for a cheaper 1 bedroom or even a studio. And your top priority needs to be finding FT employment. Whatever you can get. What is your employment background?

will food banks ask questions? I know this is incredibly stupid but not being a person of color or an elderly person I just think they will suspect I am trying to fool them.
Also, for the free food at school - officially I (he) still has this above average income.
My background is admin/EA/project manager type of work.
The apartment is pretty inexpensive since it was rented a long time ago. I could score something for, say, 1800 instead of 2000, but not in the immediate area. I also tend to cling on to the present place irrationally...also it will be stress for the child as it is with dad moving out.

No the food banks won’t question you. Especially the church based ones. For the school, you absolutely can have you child qualify. You need to inform the school that your husband is no longer in the picture and is providing minimal support. You can apply based on your income.

Where are you located that you can’t find a less expensive apartment? There are a million super sleuths on the Real Estate board here that can probably help identify a new place for you.

For the job - contact temp agencies on Monday. You need FT employment now.

Thank you very much, PP. I will only go to a food bank if I am desperate (and when he moves out, not before). But it is comforting to know. At least I can do my research now.
As for the school - don't they want to see any kind of proof of income? I am sorry I keep questioning you. I would hate to let the school now too much of my circumstance only to get rejected.
I would rather not say where I am, thank you. I know I am paranoid but...

[Anonymous]

OP here: I can rent a room if things get really bad. Or a cheaper apartment. I just want to hold off on this one for now.

[Anonymous]

I am sitting here and wondering: will he really dare to do it? will he let me miss a payment/get evicted? I just can't believe this is happening to me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I can rent a room if things get really bad. Or a cheaper apartment. I just want to hold off on this one for now.

See how the second sentence is totally different than the second sentence?

Renting a room isn’t renting a real home; big difficulty for a mom and child.

Getting an apartment you can afford is what you have to do because you are not high income anymore.


You’re acting like you’re equally entitled to balk at both but it’s not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, OP again: what I wanted to do is get by somehow until the green card - getting free food, if need be. Then file for divorce. It's not like I was planning to be on food stamps forever.
I am in a pinch as officially I am a well off person with above average annual family income, yet, I am broke.
I don't know, maybe we should just cross the border into Canada as refugees...

You can go to food banks but you won’t qualify for food stamps for yourself. However you might want to look into what your child qualifies for since they are a citizen.They might qualify for free breakfasts/lunches at school and that will help.

I would definitely look for a cheaper 1 bedroom or even a studio. And your top priority needs to be finding FT employment. Whatever you can get. What is your employment background?

will food banks ask questions? I know this is incredibly stupid but not being a person of color or an elderly person I just think they will suspect I am trying to fool them.
Also, for the free food at school - officially I (he) still has this above average income.
My background is admin/EA/project manager type of work.
The apartment is pretty inexpensive since it was rented a long time ago. I could score something for, say, 1800 instead of 2000, but not in the immediate area. I also tend to cling on to the present place irrationally...also it will be stress for the child as it is with dad moving out.

No the food banks won’t question you. Especially the church based ones. For the school, you absolutely can have you child qualify. You need to inform the school that your husband is no longer in the picture and is providing minimal support. You can apply based on your income.

Where are you located that you can’t find a less expensive apartment? There are a million super sleuths on the Real Estate board here that can probably help identify a new place for you.

For the job - contact temp agencies on Monday. You need FT employment now.

Thank you very much, PP. I will only go to a food bank if I am desperate (and when he moves out, not before). But it is comforting to know. At least I can do my research now.
As for the school - don't they want to see any kind of proof of income? I am sorry I keep questioning you. I would hate to let the school now too much of my circumstance only to get rejected.
I would rather not say where I am, thank you. I know I am paranoid but...

You said you’d be working soon so you will have proof of income for the school. You should be able to find more specifics online for your district.

[Anonymous]

OP, you should have been working this whole time instead of mooching off your husband. Then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should have been working this whole time instead of mooching off your husband. Then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

You’re not very good at reading, are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^Adding on to my post, I don't understand how you can have a HHI of $180K but not have any savings from which you can draw on until the full child support order kicks in.

Sending $ home maybe? So often it’s the story here. Part of the culture. Send money home and get public assistance here

Are you cray cray?? My husband gives me this $1200 monthly and I am supposed to feed the whole family, clothe myself and child, pay for any outings with child, for household supplies...
How can you all be so mean?????

You misunderstand the purpose of child support. It is for the maintenance of the CHILD. you are responsible for buying your own cloths with your OWN MONEY.

[Anonymous]

This is a strange post, OP. I'm assuming you understood how your visa worked when you moved here, and which government programs you were eligible for.

Since you don't, I'm guessing you've been fairly sheltered, and that the idea of living on 3K/mo including your rent seems impossible. If your ex is abusive, then he'll probably use money to control you. Maybe you could divorce him, claim asylum, and get a real court order. Otherwise, you need to figure out how to not need him, so that when he pulls support out from under you, you don't end up homeless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should have been working this whole time instead of mooching off your husband. Then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

You’re not very good at reading, are you?

What is your reason for not working? When I applied for my green card I applied for a work permit as well. You can and should work. Assistance is for people who are unable to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you should have been working this whole time instead of mooching off your husband. Then you wouldn’t be in this situation.

You’re not very good at reading, are you?

What is your reason for not working? When I applied for my green card I applied for a work permit as well. You can and should work. Assistance is for people who are unable to work.

Because she just got her H4. She had no ability to work before the H4 and explained this in previous posts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a strange post, OP. I'm assuming you understood how your visa worked when you moved here, and which government programs you were eligible for.

Since you don't, I'm guessing you've been fairly sheltered, and that the idea of living on 3K/mo including your rent seems impossible. If your ex is abusive, then he'll probably use money to control you. Maybe you could divorce him, claim asylum, and get a real court order. Otherwise, you need to figure out how to not need him, so that when he pulls support out from under you, you don't end up homeless.

It’s strange because it’s a flame

[Anonymous]

Op, do you have well-off friends with big houses where you can live temporarily until you work full time?

[Anonymous]

This thread keeps getting better and better. OP, I had a few friends when I was younger that were young single moms, and they would get something like $200 in child support each month, and that was if the dad actually paid it. They worked their tails off to support themselves and their children, and lived in less nice neighborhoods, which was where they could afford housing. I can't believe you are going to get so much support from your ex and are considering going to a food bank. SHAME ON YOU. Get a job and learn to budget.