DD doesn't want to go on birth conrol.

[Anonymous]

I get the impulse to require birth control -- I really do. But why does it have to be the pill? Why load her body up with the hormones -- get the copper IUD if you have to get anything.

However, it's her choice. Can't tie her down and have it inserted.

[Anonymous]

NP. Why do you recommend the copper IUD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
I'm aware of side effects. Her doctor would be very thorough about those, so that's not a concern. She also knows about condoms, but those aren't 100% especially in the heat of the moment. DD is responsible, but she's a teen.
I don't want to force it on her, but I'd prefer to get ahead of things.

The bolded makes no sense at all. Side effects don't just go away and become "not a concern" because the doctor makes someone aware of the chance of something happening.

And I can't imagine being sixteen, not sexually active, and discussing my libido with a doctor. With mom still on the room?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not like taking vitamins, it’s a serious medication, so you should not force it on her. FWIW I’ve been using condoms since 16 without any issues. Never been on the pill, just don’t like the idea.

This is me too.

Have never been on the pill and choose not to be.

Why can’t it be your daughter’s choice?

[Anonymous]

Never force someone to take hormones against their will. Hormones are powerful. I'd never take the pill, unless I had a medical condition that required it. There are other forms of birth control out there. (Though I do believe there would be better birth control available if our society weren't so misogynistic and uptight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never force someone to take hormones against their will. Hormones are powerful. I'd never take the pill, unless I had a medical condition that required it. There are other forms of birth control out there. (Though I do believe there would be better birth control available if our society weren't so misogynistic and uptight.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know why she doesn’t want to be on birth control? Have you suggested an iud, which is much less cumbersome, generally comes with fewer undesirable side effects, and does not increase the risk of blood clots, which, as a previous poster mentioned, is a legitimate concern.

OMG don't give a 15-year-old an IUD. Jesus. Why would you put her through that?

NP. It’s not a traumatic event ffs. Quit being such a drama queen. Would you rather she be unreliable with the pill or condoms and get pregnant? Why would you put her through that?

I would definitely not force her onto birth control. That’s insane. It’s her body. But a good compromise would be waiting until she’s ready then choosing a method more foolproof than the pill, which would include IUDs. It sounds like OP is concerned about the habits and consistency needed for the pill, and the IUD would eliminate the oops factor.

Er, no. Where did you get that? It sounds to me like OP is concerned with her daughter has a brain and is saying that she doesn't want to put some unnecessary drug into her body for no reason, also probably doesn't enjoy discussing her sex life with her mother, and probably also doesn't enjoy trying to convince her mother that she isn't a skank like her older sisters and that her mother should leave her alone to be a 15 year old girl.

The second sentence of the OP.

So young women who use birth control are skanks? Way to judge, misogynist.

We're not talking about young women wanting to sleep with someone they're in a long term relationship with and care about.

In this case, the sisters didn't have boyfriends, they were just on birth control in case they "suddenly changed their mind" as the OP said and decided to screw a random guy at a party or whatever. OP's DD said that she doesn't have a boyfriend, OP believes her but doesn't believe her that she won't screw someone anyway, just like her sisters.

And 15 year old girls who use birth control so they can screw random guys who they aren't even in relationships with are skanks, yes. It's pretty much the definition, in fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never force someone to take hormones against their will. Hormones are powerful. I'd never take the pill, unless I had a medical condition that required it. There are other forms of birth control out there. (Though I do believe there would be better birth control available if our society weren't so misogynistic and uptight.

+1

+1. I discussed this with my daughter and she (18) made decisions not to take any hormonal pills until she has kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Why do you recommend the copper IUD?

DP. Because it’s more effective than the pill, it’s one of the types recommended by the AAP, and it doesn’t contain hormones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know why she doesn’t want to be on birth control? Have you suggested an iud, which is much less cumbersome, generally comes with fewer undesirable side effects, and does not increase the risk of blood clots, which, as a previous poster mentioned, is a legitimate concern.

OMG don't give a 15-year-old an IUD. Jesus. Why would you put her through that?

NP. It’s not a traumatic event ffs. Quit being such a drama queen. Would you rather she be unreliable with the pill or condoms and get pregnant? Why would you put her through that?

I would definitely not force her onto birth control. That’s insane. It’s her body. But a good compromise would be waiting until she’s ready then choosing a method more foolproof than the pill, which would include IUDs. It sounds like OP is concerned about the habits and consistency needed for the pill, and the IUD would eliminate the oops factor.

Er, no. Where did you get that? It sounds to me like OP is concerned with her daughter has a brain and is saying that she doesn't want to put some unnecessary drug into her body for no reason, also probably doesn't enjoy discussing her sex life with her mother, and probably also doesn't enjoy trying to convince her mother that she isn't a skank like her older sisters and that her mother should leave her alone to be a 15 year old girl.

The second sentence of the OP.

So young women who use birth control are skanks? Way to judge, misogynist.

We're not talking about young women wanting to sleep with someone they're in a long term relationship with and care about.

In this case, the sisters didn't have boyfriends, they were just on birth control in case they "suddenly changed their mind" as the OP said and decided to screw a random guy at a party or whatever. OP's DD said that she doesn't have a boyfriend, OP believes her but doesn't believe her that she won't screw someone anyway, just like her sisters.

And 15 year old girls who use birth control so they can screw random guys who they aren't even in relationships with are skanks, yes. It's pretty much the definition, in fact.

Your misogyny is showing. She didn’t say her daughters are screwing random guys at parties. You’re slut shaming teenagers for using protection. What OP said about changing her mind is that while dd plans not to have sex, sometimes people get caught up in the moment and change their minds, and she doesn’t want her dd to be unprotected if that happens.

Quite frankly, that’s why abstinence only programs don’t work, because kids think they’ll have the willpower to say no and they don’t have a backup plan. Then they have unwanted pregnancies and STIs.

[Anonymous]

Back off, OP. Your intrusion is disturbing.

My father brought this up with me when I was her age and I’m still creeped out by it. Some people are very private about this kind of thing. It is completely her decision and it sounds like she already has all the information she needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound insane. She is not sexually actice and doesn't plan to be. You have discussed it with her, now trust her enough that she will come to you when she is ready. I didn't have sex until my 20s, I'm sure I was in the minority but not every single kid has sex at 16. If her behavior changes and gives you reason to suspect she is sneaking around to have sex, or she gets a serious boyfriend, you can bring it up again. But do not force your daughter to take daily hormones that she doesn't want or need right now.

+1
My mom asked me if I wanted to be on the pill. I wasn't sexually active. I had no plans to become so. My mom just said that was fine with her, but if things changed, let her know and she'd make an appointment. Don't make her take a unnecessary medication she doesn't want to take. Don't send the message that you don't believe her or that you don't trust her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I would have been completely creeped out if my parents had insisted on my taking the pill as a teen, and preventatively no less. How unnecessary.

Respect her wishes, please.

DP.
I was forced on it just like OPs daughter. It was humiliating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for being off topic, but I am surprised no-one has mentioned how helpful BCPs can be for painful periods.
Hormones, pain, ability to reproduce when desired, are all connected.

Why, when it has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand? OP doesn't think her daughter should take BCP because she has painful periods, she thinks she should take it as contraception despite the fact that her daughter says she's not sexually active and doesn't want to take it.

[Anonymous]

Wow OP - you sound a bit crazy. Totally ok (and good) to talk with your DD about birth control options and even to push/suggest your preference. But what are you doing to her sense of autonomy and self respect when you refuse to acknowledge that she isn’t having sex and doesn’t plan to in the near future? Just remind her that she should always use protection, make sure she has access to condoms, and tell her to come to you at any time she would like to go on the pill. Check in with her when circumstances change (serious boyfriend, going off to college, topic came up somehow) but otherwise trust her to make good choices.