DS 13 - Is this a battle worth fighting?

[Anonymous]

I used to subscribe to the 'I am the parent - you must obey me!'... until I had a DD who at 15 refuses to wear a coat and likes short sleeves. So far, knock on wood, she hasn't been sick this winter.

Today, she is wearing her ski jacket out but that's only because I'm home to monitor her every move.

agree that this is NOT a hill to die on!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell him about the senior who just died of hypothermia walking home from a party.

The temps were much warmer than now.

The senior passed out drunk in a pond. I don't think you can compare the risks of doing that with the risks of walking to school.

Seriously--bringing up that example as a warning would be a great way to make your teen think you are a complete moron. That tragic death is extremely instructive for a very different reason, and I hope no one would actually trivialize it in this manner.

[Anonymous]

One time my kid refused to wear a coat to school because he hardly spends any time out of he building. On that particular day, they had a fire drill and had to wait outside for an hour or so, and he got cold. Live and learn. I don't normally fight my kids on what they wear as long as it is weather appropriate. I have a 12 yr .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't give a crap what other kids are doing, my kids are going to dress appropriate for the weather. Being "a hill to die on" never was a thing, because they never had an option or choice. I guess as parents we all have out things we are a stickler about and this was one of mine. Certain temperatures require hat, gloves, scarves, proper shoes. End of story. My younger used to always claim he was hot - too bad, when we get in the car you can take off your hat/gloves.

- Mom of 18 and 12 year old boys.

Oh dear God. Please tell me you aren't active in the PTA? Oh I bet you are. Oh man, that just ruins it for everyone.

[Anonymous]

As my mom says wear it within my eyesight. If the second you get the school/around the corner you take it off so be it...but just humor me. So agree with the not the the hill to die on. The last time I had a meltdown with my DD was when she wanted to wear hot ass boots in the middle of summer a couple years ago. Its an argument not worth having.

[Anonymous]

I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't give a crap what other kids are doing, my kids are going to dress appropriate for the weather. Being "a hill to die on" never was a thing, because they never had an option or choice. I guess as parents we all have out things we are a stickler about and this was one of mine. Certain temperatures require hat, gloves, scarves, proper shoes. End of story. My younger used to always claim he was hot - too bad, when we get in the car you can take off your hat/gloves.

- Mom of 18 and 12 year old boys.

You're an outstanding parent. Your boys are lucky.

[Anonymous]

I want my kid to be able think on their own too, and I wouldn't expect blind obedience I just want them to be smart enough to dress weather appropriate. Even if your not cold, put on a coat what's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

We devised rules last year - can't wear shorts if the temperature at bus departure time was below a certain level and/or if the predicted high was not above some other level. I can't remember and amazingly my 13yo got over the shorts thing this year. He still won't wear his heavy winter jacket, but if he has a hoodie I've let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

Hopefully, you will grow up and mature a little before you really start impacting your kids.

P.S. The last thing society needs is more parents encouraging their kids to be "independent thinkers that express opinions."

[Anonymous]

There's an old family circus that defines a sweater as a garment children wear when their moms are cold.

OP - don't bother with this battle. The battle is about physical autonomy, and not the weather. Your kid is separating from you, and part of that is making his own decisions about his own body.

If you think the lack of a jacket will ruin the day (i.e. if you are doing a family event or something), throw it in the trunk so your day isn't ruined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS refuses to dress appropriately for winter weather. He will not wear a heavy coat, gloves, hat, proper footwear - any of it.

It drives me absolutely crazy to see him leave for school in a sweatshirt in these temperatures.

I lost it with him this morning which of course did not start the day off on the right foot. He claims he's "not cold." If he gets sick, "oh well."

Dig in or let this one go?

I would not let my child leave the house -- in this weather -- without proper attire.

Where I come from, this is a regular winter day and no one in their right mind would even dream of walking around in a sweatshirt! No, you can't 'catch a cold' from being cold, but overexposure to extreme colds can result in a bunch of unpleasant health issues.

[Anonymous]

Meh, part of learning responsibility as a teen is natural consequences. They need to weigh the 'cool' factor versus the 'cold' factor.

The compromise we have is that there has to be gloves, and a good warm hat in the backpack. That way should they be stuck outside and do get cold enough, they eventually have options.

[Anonymous]

No. He is growing, the heavy clothing is constricting and uncomfortabke. Leave him be. He is fine. I promise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate the term "Obey." I don't want my son to "obey" me any more than I want to "obey" a husband. I want my son to be an independent thinker that expresses his opinions in an intelligent respectful manner.

You are a poor excuse for a parent.

He dresses appropriately or loses a privilege. The End.