DS 13 - Is this a battle worth fighting?

[Anonymous]

Let it go. If he's cold enough, he'll wear the coat. If he's not, why insist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be the responsible parent. He needs to put on a winter coat in subzero temps. No more discussing the issue. Just tell him. And stick to it.

I bet you have a toddler.

I bet you allow your kid to rule.

Clothes are not a hill to die on.

When kids learn to obey their parents,
no one needs to die on any hill.

You.do.not.have.a.teen

Look, I know it can easily be overwhelming and exhausting. But it's not too late to become the responsible parent.

[Anonymous]

My only thing where would be if he gets sick (yes germs get you sick not the cold but a cooler body is more receptive to germs) then he will need to make up all the work and not do anything fun. And then the possibility of getting you sick etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS refuses to dress appropriately for winter weather. He will not wear a heavy coat, gloves, hat, proper footwear - any of it.

It drives me absolutely crazy to see him leave for school in a sweatshirt in these temperatures.

I lost it with him this morning which of course did not start the day off on the right foot. He claims he's "not cold." If he gets sick, "oh well."

Dig in or let this one go?

Let it go. This one has a natural consequence. If you dress inappropriately for winter weather, you get cold. It's unlikely that he'll get frostbite or hypothermia on his way to school.

Also, people don't get sick from being cold. People get sick from viruses and bacteria.

Completely agree with this.

[Anonymous]

My theory has always been that if it's not physically dangerous and/or I don't have to be there to hear them whine to let it go. Tomorrow morning, if walking or waiting for long at a bus stop, I might be one where I'd have to insist.

[Anonymous]

Mine do not wear coats (beyond a sweatshirt or fleece). They do not use lockers, have no room in their backpacks and do not want to have to carry anything else. They go for years without being sick. I have moved on (while silently shaking my head of course)

[Anonymous]

We live in MI. It's actually c.o.l.d. here - for 3 months of the year. 1/2 the teens dress like it's autumn or spring year round, rather than winter (mine included) Can't say why - don't know. Don't care! Mine is a healthy kid - and illness is caused by viruses and bacteria rather than going without a jacket.

[Anonymous]

My DS has always run hot, even as a baby. I'd get drive-by comments from moms, "why don't you have a hat on that baby?" Um, do you have any Super Glue or a stapler? Because that's the only way it's staying on.

Local news has even had segments on the tween/teen boy phenomena of wearing shorts in the winter. They usually show a video of bunch of middle school boys playing in the snow in shorts, as Mom is saying she's just giving up.

Personally I tell DS he has to at least put sweats on over his shorts while waiting for the bus on frigid mornings. If he takes them off on the bus, well I'm not there and I figure at least he has them, just in case. But otherwise if it's above freezing, I leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be the responsible parent. He needs to put on a winter coat in subzero temps. No more discussing the issue. Just tell him. And stick to it.

I bet you have a toddler.

I bet you allow your kid to rule.

Clothes are not a hill to die on.

When kids learn to obey their parents,
no one needs to die on any hill.

You.do.not.have.a.teen

The "kids learn to obey their parents" PP is a teen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only thing where would be if he gets sick (yes germs get you sick not the cold but a cooler body is more receptive to germs) then he will need to make up all the work and not do anything fun. And then the possibility of getting you sick etc.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Ha, try and "make" your teen wear a coat and I guarantee it will be off and stuffed in the backpack before he makes it to the bus stop. I try to set temp rules for shorts and coats but I am realistic enough to know that there are shorts under the sweats and the sweats come off as soon as he gets to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My theory has always been that if it's not physically dangerous and/or I don't have to be there to hear them whine to let it go. Tomorrow morning, if walking or waiting for long at a bus stop, I might be one where I'd have to insist.

That's our rule -- I don't care if they're uncomfortable, but they need to be safe, and shorts at 7 degrees is not OK.

Shorts at 27 degrees is not my cup of tea, but at those temperatures he'll only be cold for his walk to school (takes about half an hour). That's his choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be the responsible parent. He needs to put on a winter coat in subzero temps. No more discussing the issue. Just tell him. And stick to it.

I bet you have a toddler.

I bet you allow your kid to rule.

Clothes are not a hill to die on.

When kids learn to obey their parents,
no one needs to die on any hill.

np. I don't particularly care about the clothes issue, but A-EFFING-MEN to that sentiment. It is so true. The "not my hill to die on" is such an overplayed excuse for incompetent parents who are scared of their kids.

I agree. And I have a teen.

[Anonymous]

Let. It. Go. If he gets cold enough, he will dress more warmly. Many teens - boys especially - don’t want to keep up with all that winter gear when they get to school and take it off.

Most importantly, it’s 2018, and we should all know by that being cold does not cause illness. If cold enough for long enough, it can lead to hypothermia or frost bite, but it doesn’t sound like that’s the concern. Cold does not cause illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My theory has always been that if it's not physically dangerous and/or I don't have to be there to hear them whine to let it go. Tomorrow morning, if walking or waiting for long at a bus stop, I might be one where I'd have to insist.

That's our rule -- I don't care if they're uncomfortable, but they need to be safe, and shorts at 7 degrees is not OK.

Shorts at 27 degrees is not my cup of tea, but at those temperatures he'll only be cold for his walk to school (takes about half an hour). That's his choice.

+1

To me it depends on the temperature. If it's extremely cold and windchill and he risks frostbite in ten minutes, then yes, I would fight the battle for a 13 year old. Sometimes even adults don't recognize extreme winter temperatures for how serious they are, and frostbite is a serious issue, and once you have experienced frostbite you are more susceptible to it on that area forever going forward.

For regular winter temperatures, I wouldn't.