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Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS)
Whitman HS Suicide
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Anonymous
I've been looking for a therapist for my son and for myself (different issues) but it is, actually, damn hard to find a good therapist, one who works on our specific issues, and who we can communicate well with, who takes our insurance. I've been looking over a year. So it's not that there aren't good therapists around here, but it can be damn hard to find them if you can't afford to pay out of pocket. I know there are very good therapists who do take insurance, and I'm overflowing with gratitude to them for doing so, but it's still very hard to find the right match. |
Anonymous
thank you, this is nice. I am not talking about it with my kids who are in a BCC cluster middle school, because I think they probably haven't heard about it, and I don't want to put suicide into their heads. Is that a mistake? |
Anonymous
That is true to some degree - some of the good ones do not take insurance. Some of the good ones are not seeing patients either. Try CT Gordon Lance Clawson If they have no space ask who they recommend. Call Shepherd Pratt and ask for recommendations. |
Anonymous
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/47801.page |
Anonymous
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thank you, this is nice. I am not talking about it with my kids who are in a BCC cluster middle school, because I think they probably haven't heard about it, and I don't want to put suicide into their heads. Is that a mistake? Only you can make that decision for yourself and your kids, but I'll offer this: As a teenager, I worked at an award-winning suicide hotline service for other teens. To this day, I count it as one of the most influential experiences of my life. Among the many lessons I learned during my time there, I still think these are the most important: 1. For many teens, suicide is like sex. Talking about it isn't going to "give them the idea"; they are likely encountering it already--if not for themselves, then for a peer, in media, or elsewhere. 2. People in despair feel terribly isolated and alone with their feelings. To be at that level of sadness profoundly distorts your thinking. Yet most are not wrong to believe that speaking up about it would make others uncomfortable, and what they'd likely get are attempts to cheer them up, distract them, or anecdotes about when the listener felt down him or herself. The best thing you can do for someone you suspect is thinking about harming themselves is to ask them, candidly, empathically, and without judgement, if they're feel bad enough that they're thinking about self harm. To truly assess risk (if the answer is yes), you should follow up by asking if they've thought about how they would do it, and if they have access to those means. 3. Finally comes the hardest part: just let them talk. Don't talk about your own experiences. Don't offer distraction, or tell them they're crazy to feel that way or they have so much to live for. What you can do is let them know that whenever they're feeling this way, you are there for them, and you want to hear it--no matter how ugly, scary, or awful it is. My kids are still young, but I plan to teach them these three lessons once they hit the tween years (or sooner, if it seems like they need it. I want them to know this is what I will do for them, and what I hope they'll do for their friends if they ever see them seriously hurting. I'll never know if I truly saved anyone's life in my many hours fielding calls years ago, but I know I helped people during some of their darkest moments. I can only hope I can do the same for my kids if the circumstance arises, and can teach them to do the same for others. |
Anonymous
| Do not protect your kids from failure and disappointment. Many kids lack coping skills because of overprotection. Don't take away finals because they are stressful. |
Anonymous
It is extremely hard to get a new patient appointment with an adolescent psychiatrist in this area. And most do not take insurance and charge $400 or more for an intake appointment. You beat whatever drum you have to to get help for your kid, but it is damn hard and expensive. |
Anonymous
| Jeff, consider moving this thread to the teen section. Lots of good tips, back and forth, and support that I got out of it - but not being a MD public school student did not know this thread was here until I heard about it through the grapevine. |
Anonymous
What can Whitman, or other high schools for that matter, do to tone down the stress for the kids? Are the high schools the source of the stress or is it affluent parents who have set a high bar, the college application process, etc? |
Anonymous
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The mental health issue is what needs to be addressed by all of us. It just isn't always school stuff. Jojo was an amazing young women who had more experiences in her short life than most ever will, some good, some bad and a real person with a family and friends. Try to realize it can be any of our children who are having both the good and bad experiences and not worry about school and grades and colleges.
For those talking about the stress about schools, how many of you have said top your child it is ok if you don't go to college, it is ok if you get c' as long as you are doing you best? The school stress comes from parents mostly. "You must get into this school, you must get these test scores, you must have more extra curricular activities" etc etc. It is ok to not be the Ivy bound or top 25 bound. Most of the kids going to college across the country are not going to a top school and for many many years people end up being just fine in life who have attended even the lowest ranked schools. |
Anonymous
I agree a million percent. Finding a therapist for my daughter almost drove me to therapy. On top of finding one we could afford and who takes insurance, there's also the issue of finding one who isn't 2 hours away in rush hour traffic and has available times that are not in the middle of the day. I also wanted to find someone young and female knowing that my DD would respond best to that. It's a fraught process and not nearly as easy as you think. |
Anonymous
Yes! I am also a BCC cluster parent. Thru social media, kids now have a much wider social network than when we grew up. My kid knows tons of kids at other schools thru friends of friends. Also, you are delusional if you think by discussing this, you are "putting the idea of suicide " in their head. I guarantee you it is already there. The recent Netflix series "13 reasons why" centered on the suicide of a character and was widely watched and discussed by teens everywhere. Besides you WANT to put the idea in their head because it is easier to send the right message about suicide when you aren't competing with other dysfunctional messages that have already been implanted. Think of discussion of suicide like a vaccination - more effective when done prior to exposure to the virus. You want kids to know that you know they are under pressire, have an open line to get your support at any time and should come to you if they are ever overwhelmed enough to be thinking about this. See this as an opportunity to open a conversation, even if you are afraid it exposes them to sadness. |
Anonymous
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Here is a huge psych practice filled with competent professionals with good communication skills
http://www.alvordbaker.com/about/clinicians/ |
Anonymous
You might need to pay a lot and you might need to take off and take her out of school during the day for appointments. Or, you can choose a therapeutic school that has those services during the day. Sorry it’s so hard but you must do that. Many of us have children with special needs and it does turn your life upside down in many ways, yes it does. |
Anonymous
I have also heard good things about this practice, but what PPs says applies - they didn't take my insurance and had only very limited openings with clinicians that I didn't view as having experience in our area of illness. YMMV with them, of course. We finally did find someone good, close and who took insurance. What I learned from that - be willing to pull your kid out of school. This is about their health, which has to take priority if they are to be able to function well at school. It is a medical appointment and an excused absence so students will be able to make up any work. Demonstrate to your child that you will support them in negotiations with teachers about making up or even waiving work. Pursue a 504 plan if necessary. If your kid is missing a half day of school a week due to medical diagnosis and recommended therapy, he/she is meeting the legal definition of "substantially limited" under Section 504. If the school makes the argument that grades are not impacted because they are not "c" or lower, go outside of the school and complain to the county-wide Section 504 supervisor, who knows that poor grades do not constitute the legal test for a 504. Also, be willing to try someone who you don't think is perfect. Our psychiatrist encouraged us (both parent and patient) to think if the theraputic relationship in the beginning more like dating - you are looking for a good fit, with someone with whom you feel like you can safely open up and you are free to decide after 2-4 meetings that the therapist/patient match isn't right and to look for someone else. |