Is 40 too old for a baby?

[Anonymous]

it's about 1 in 100 even on the highest category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you are going to judge me but my husband and I just adopted a baby and I am 49 and he is 51. We tried and tried to become parents for many years and we finally are and couldn't be happier. Our families and friends are supportive too. I don't feel too old for this even though my friends have teenagers.

FWIW. We keep ourselves in shape and are able to do all the physical stuff for/with a baby toddler. We hike, ski, run, swim, etc.

We did think about it and went in with the attitude of "we are going to be x age either way so we should go for it. Also for those of you who will tell me how unfair it is to saddle a child with parents who will die or get sick when he is young, I lost my mother to cancer at 6. On the other hand, the rest of my blood relatives lived well into their 90's. Life is a crapshoot.

Congrats! I’m very happy for you. I adopted at 44, and we are doing fine in our late 50’s with a teenager. I can’t imagine what our life would have been like without this wonderful kid!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You want to be done by 37 or else the baby may be deformed or mental problem due to ama

Hate to break it to you, but younger moms have babies with problems as well. And many over 40 have perfectly healthy children.

Learn to read your own stats. Vast majority of births over 40 are healthy.

Learn to read.

Are you misreading the x axis on the yellow chart or what? PP is right

Anything past 35 is dangerous

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You want to be done by 37 or else the baby may be deformed or mental problem due to ama

Hate to break it to you, but younger moms have babies with problems as well. And many over 40 have perfectly healthy children.

Learn to read your own stats. Vast majority of births over 40 are healthy.

Learn to read.

Are you misreading the x axis on the yellow chart or what? PP is right

Anything past 35 is dangerous

no it's not. these are all very small probabilities.

[Anonymous]

Yup thats old, Most likely your kid will live with you after he/she graduates college when you are ready to retire...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup thats old, Most likely your kid will live with you after he/she graduates college when you are ready to retire...

So what?

[Anonymous]

I did and call her my joy-bringer. She is so fun and sweet and clever. She was born a few months after I turned 40.

She's recently gotten into the habit of writing me love notes. The spelling it atrocious and I will treasure them forever.

I was older than the doctor who delivered her!! I firmly declined genetic counseling, which my OB respected. But was ambushed by another doctor when I went for a my sonogram and held my ground with her hostilely. I believe, "I don't need you to tell me how old I am" is what finally shut her up, and went through the pregnancy with joy.

She's healthy and strong and beautiful. Basically, I wanna be DD when I grow up. She's everything anyone could hope for in a child. No regrets, as you can see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yup thats old, Most likely your kid will live with you after he/she graduates college when you are ready to retire...

So what?

seriously. my siblings lived with my parents till they were 30 (not in the US). they are very successful.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You want to be done by 37 or else the baby may be deformed or mental problem due to ama

Hate to break it to you, but younger moms have babies with problems as well. And many over 40 have perfectly healthy children.

Learn to read your own stats. Vast majority of births over 40 are healthy.

Learn to read.

Are you misreading the x axis on the yellow chart or what? PP is right

Anything past 35 is dangerous

no it's not. these are all very small probabilities.

NP: The U.S. does not teach statistics to the vast majority of students, so very few people in the general population will be able to read and understand these charts for what they are actually trying to show. I guarantee that a shocking number of people will look at these charts and believe that that there is a greater than 100% chance that a baby born to an mother over 40 will have problems. The level of ignorance in this country is astounding.

[Anonymous]

I had my sons at 41 and 43. I say way better late than never

And yes, as PP said, even though my odds of having a child with a genetic problem were much greater with AMA (I recall odds of Downs Syndrome being 1/43), having a genetically normal child is still the most common outcome (42/43!).

[Anonymous]

Well that totally depends on you. Many woman can conceive and have healthy pregnancies at this age, so if you can conceive naturally (or with ART if you go that route) that is one factor. There's also the daily grind of childrearing as you age, and how you see another younger child fitting into your lifestyle from this point onward. IMO the latter is the most relevant part of your decision. I'm 38 and in the third trimester with my second pregnancy, which is turning out to be a bit nicer and less complicated than my first (knock on wood). I'm getting my tubes tied after this though, and will look forward to concentrating on my health and fitness again after pregnancy/breastfeeding. I have to take care of myself too, and I personally wouldn't want to deal with pregnancy, sleepless nights and toddler tantrums again in my 40s...but you might feel it's worth it to complete your family.


I also wouldn't be too concerned about the slightly increased health risks for you and the baby, since these are a possibility regardless of maternal age and totally out of your control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to be done by 37 or else the baby may be deformed or mental problem due to ama

What kind of ignorant crap is this? I had my first at 39 and she is perfectly healthy.

[Anonymous]

Having a baby in your early 40s doesn't seem bad, but I can't imagine dealing with teenagers well into your 50s.

[Anonymous]

Too old.

[Anonymous]

There’s probably message boards out there for women TTC after 40.