When one spouse has a "big" job

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Yea, I know he is being ridiculous. He thinks that if we divorce, he'll get full custody and his mom will leave her spouse, job, and life to come live with him and help out

Tell him fine he can have full custody. Tell him he can start tomorrow and he needs to do 100% of everything or have mom get there asap. He'll need to hire a nanny if he is on call weekends and other times. Tell him he will need to do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, child care, pay bills and everything else you do. Tell him he has one week where you will taper off support and then he's on his own. Let him replace everything you do and see how easy it is if he wants full custody and cannot even take the kids to day care. Enjoy your free time.

It really depends on his career. If he is a doctor, and might have to go in, then yes, having a back up on the weekend is important. But, he can drop off the kids and just get up a little earlier. But, if you are talking divorce, it makes sense to get a job.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Words like "parent"? Because that word would mean, to me, that the wellbeing and needs of the child come first. Taking a job which necessitates daycare and threatening the breadwinners income all IN THE MIDST OF choosing to divorce is a lot. It would be hard for me to justify that being in my kids best interest.

Initiate the divorce now, take the time to transition your child to daycare/deal with emotional fallout from divorce, and then once custody and alimony and child support are hammered out, get the RIGHT job for your new circumstances.

Where do you possibly get that this guy legitimately thinks his job is being "threatened" by his wife working? That's a really bizarre assertion to make, and I cannot really picture any set of facts where it's true. Childcare can be paid for; it's not rocket science -- thousands of DC "big job" couples do it every day. One man does not have the right to unilaterally declare that his wife's unpaid labor must serve the child's best interests, while he gets to work.

The only way that that bolded is true is if she was forced to be a SAHM against her will. You make it sound like "getting" to support two adults and children is a big treat.

No. Now she wants to work, and he's threatening her with divorce, taking away her kids, or alternatively abandoning the kids, as a way to keep her out of the workplace. That's a type of abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Yea, I know he is being ridiculous. He thinks that if we divorce, he'll get full custody and his mom will leave her spouse, job, and life to come live with him and help out

Wow, he is a confused jerk.

OMG, this is exactly what my loser husband thinks as well. His mommy will come and do everything, just like when she visits or we visits, just like he expects me to. Pathetic.