What makes someone good in bed? (Non-explicit)

[Anonymous]

An openness and willingness to try new things to keep it exciting. I'm not talking about anything bizarre or kinky. For example: Why does it need to be "in bed"? One of the most passionate sessions we ever had was in my closet - purely spontaneous. We've been married a long time and after 3000 times it would be easy to get bored with the same old same old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

Oh please. Sex isn't any better with a large guy than it is a small/average guy given the same set of "skills".

Ummmmm

Hoe turned housewife here. I have had great sex with a man with a small penis, but literally just one lover that fits that bill, and he was bringing a LOT to the party (gorgeous, sensual, sensitive, a Scorpio, Latino ).

In general, size definitely matters. #sorrynotsorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to
climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

After she climaxes, she should bring her mouth to the game and be good enough that he doesn't really have a choice as to his timing.

No thanks. He can figure it out

Another representative from the "Not Good in Bed" column reporting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to
climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

After she climaxes, she should bring her mouth to the game and be good enough that he doesn't really have a choice as to his timing.

No thanks. He can figure it out

Another representative from the "Not Good in Bed" column reporting.

That's right. Firmly in the "great in bed" category. As is my husband, which is why he doesn't pump away aimlessly for long intervals after I'm bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An openness and willingness to try new things to keep it exciting. I'm not talking about anything bizarre or kinky. For example: Why does it need to be "in bed"? One of the most passionate sessions we ever had was in my closet - purely spontaneous. We've been married a long time and after 3000 times it would be easy to get bored with the same old same old.

+1 We're the same way regarding same old, same old. Some times we end up laughing hysterically when we try something new and we have a complete failure but that's part of the fun. I don't know if I'm good in bed but I can't be a "starfish" if my DH keeps coming back for more!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

Oh please. Sex isn't any better with a large guy than it is a small/average guy given the same set of "skills".

This x 1000. Pretty much all women feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

I'm a woman and that means the first o is just for warm ups. If you are one and done, well... Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

Oh please. Sex isn't any better with a large guy than it is a small/average guy given the same set of "skills".

This x 1000. Pretty much all women feel this way.

I am a woman - I agree - I do not care about penis size. Well, actually I don't like it if it is super big - I find that painful. But sometimes I wonder if women are different sizes and perhaps women who have larger or more elastic vaginas DO notice a difference and prefer larger?

[Anonymous]

3 inputs

[Anonymous]

I find my DH good in bed when we are connecting emotionally. I find him crappy in bed when we aren't. I don't think it is REALLY that his style changes all that much. What changes is me and my response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

Oh please. Sex isn't any better with a large guy than it is a small/average guy given the same set of "skills".

This x 1000. Pretty much all women feel this way.

I am a woman - I agree - I do not care about penis size. Well, actually I don't like it if it is super big - I find that painful. But sometimes I wonder if women are different sizes and perhaps women who have larger or more elastic vaginas DO notice a difference and prefer larger?

I'm sure lots of guys with big penises are hurting in doing other things, because they feel they don't have too. Their big penis is enough. I had to get good in other areas, because I'm average. I go down Everytime, love it. I tease, and treat her body like a wonderland, but I had to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An openness and willingness to try new things to keep it exciting. I'm not talking about anything bizarre or kinky. For example: Why does it need to be "in bed"? One of the most passionate sessions we ever had was in my closet - purely spontaneous. We've been married a long time and after 3000 times it would be easy to get bored with the same old same old.

+1 We're the same way regarding same old, same old. Some times we end up laughing hysterically when we try something new and we have a complete failure but that's part of the fun. I don't know if I'm good in bed but I can't be a "starfish" if my DH keeps coming back for more!

Not true. Assuming you expect monogamy of him, he would come back for more regardless if you were poor in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure lots of guys with big penises are hurting in doing other things, because they feel they don't have too. Their big penis is enough. I had to get good in other areas, because I'm average. I go down Everytime, love it. I tease, and treat her body like a wonderland, but I had to learn.

I have a big penis, but I still go down almost every time because I'm doing it for myself as much as I'm doing it for her. (I have no idea if I'm a representative sample, however!)

[Anonymous]

Question for men: I really like being on the bottom. So how do I avoid bring perceived as starfish? Tips?

(Ftr my boyfriend seems pleased but you never know! Id like to be proactive!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for men: I really like being on the bottom. So how do I avoid bring perceived as starfish? Tips?

(Ftr my boyfriend seems pleased but you never know! Id like to be proactive!)

Really? You really don't know how to be on bottom and not useless?

Use your pelvis. Your hands. Your mouth. Your legs. Pull him into you. Talk to him. Guide him.