What makes someone good in bed? (Non-explicit)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

So why is he your ex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these remarks are so subjective as to be meaningless.

Might as well say, "to be good at sex, be someone your lover regards as being good at sex."

And? That's part of it. There is a mental aspect. Desire feeds the experience. Being able to read your partner's signs and respond to them also feeds the experience. Being good with your hands doesn't hurt either.

Being good in bed is often a function of being with a partner who is good at being aroused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of these remarks are so subjective as to be meaningless.

Might as well say, "to be good at sex, be someone your lover regards as being good at sex."

And? That's part of it. There is a mental aspect. Desire feeds the experience. Being able to read your partner's signs and respond to them also feeds the experience. Being good with your hands doesn't hurt either.

Being good in bed is often a function of being with a partner who is good at being aroused.

Says the man who is bad in bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

[Anonymous]

I HATE that I was conditioned to not care about looks, because f*ck it I DO care. I care enough to take care of myself and I was kidding myself when I married my DH who carried some extra pounds. But we are called "shallow" if we do care. Stupid society, stupid me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I HATE that I was conditioned to not care about looks, because f*ck it I DO care. I care enough to take care of myself and I was kidding myself when I married my DH who carried some extra pounds. But we are called "shallow" if we do care. Stupid society, stupid me.

Yep. And not to rub salt on the wound but you are missing out on that vital aspect of sex life that men take as a given- overwhelming physical attraction, which adds so much. Hopefully we can start voicing how important this is and young women won't be deluded into it, as society keeps pushing this patriarchal narrative for obvious reasons...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I HATE that I was conditioned to not care about looks, because f*ck it I DO care. I care enough to take care of myself and I was kidding myself when I married my DH who carried some extra pounds. But we are called "shallow" if we do care. Stupid society, stupid me.

This hurts men too. If they got the message, loud and clear, that sexual attraction is mostly about looks, then they'd know exactly what they're dealing with. On some level they probably know, but have to deal with the feeling that they're being lied to when women talk about being attracted to guys who are compassionate and have a good sense of humor. Those are good extras, of course, but start pumping iron, young man. Don't listen to what the pretty little lady says about "having a connection." She'll feel a "connection" when you have great abs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I HATE that I was conditioned to not care about looks, because f*ck it I DO care. I care enough to take care of myself and I was kidding myself when I married my DH who carried some extra pounds. But we are called "shallow" if we do care. Stupid society, stupid me.

This hurts men too. If they got the message, loud and clear, that sexual attraction is mostly about looks, then they'd know exactly what they're dealing with. On some level they probably know, but have to deal with the feeling that they're being lied to when women talk about being attracted to guys who are compassionate and have a good sense of humor. Those are good extras, of course, but start pumping iron, young man. Don't listen to what the pretty little lady says about "having a connection." She'll feel a "connection" when you have great abs.

Please and thank you.

[Anonymous]

Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

After she climaxes, she should bring her mouth to the game and be good enough that he doesn't really have a choice as to his timing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being a match in all kinds of ways. My DH is attentive, and we have a fairly similar sex drive. But it takes him forever to
climax. I'd prefer sex that lasts 15 minutes or so, not an hour.

After a woman climaxes sex can become painful and uncomfortable. You should give him a time limit- tell him to get off or GET OFF if ya know what I mean

After she climaxes, she should bring her mouth to the game and be good enough that he doesn't really have a choice as to his timing.

No thanks. He can figure it out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a woman? Enthusiasm, and ability to block out the external non-bedroom noises that otherwise occupy her brain

For a man? Ability to delay his own orgasm, focus on her orgasm, and listen to (or mind-read) the things she needs to "get there"

chemistry doesn't hurt. a nice body doesn't hurt.

A nice body and chemistry definitely don't hurt. I had an ex that looked like a racehorse when exited the shower. He was super muscular and his manhood would bounce of of his thighs as he walked across the room. It's hard NOT to want a guy like that. Plus, I knew that once he started he'd go until I had to beg him to stop.

Totally. I think this is why you see so many "low desire" threads with women not wanting sex at all. Honestly, women are socialized to "not be superficial" and care about men's looks. As women we are "supposed" to look past that.

Well, screw that. I've always cared strongly about looks and never had an issue getting turned on. Mostly because I've always dated hot dudes who could turn on any girl and if I'm not feeling it they can take their shirt off and give me "that look" and baby I'm ready.

It's the same way with size. Women are made to feel guilty if they like well endowed men.

+10000

Sooooo true

Oh please. Sex isn't any better with a large guy than it is a small/average guy given the same set of "skills".