I want a divorce, how do I get my husband to leave?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop saying you pay the mortgage. You don't. You both pay for it, just like you both pay for cars and vacations.

What is the reason you want to divorce?

You are assuming she's not paying the mortgage out of a separate property account. I inherited my dad's house and I pay for it out of a separate property account.

OP, this is really a situation where to get your answer, you need to go to a lawyer to find out your options. Every state is different and the advice here is sketchy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the following, exactly: Do. Not. Deviate. Or. Improvise.

Get him really mad at you about something, then call the police.

Tell them you're in fear for your life, from your husband.

DO NOT STATE A SPECIFIC THREAT, unless he makes one. Simply being in fear for your life is enough.

They will remove him from the home pursuant to a TRO being granted. If he resists in any way (pray he does!) they will arrest him. If he resists arrest (pray he does, again!) they may use force.

Once he's out of the home, he can't come back. If he does, he's in violation, and gets arrested. Also, be sure to notify his employer that he is under a restraining order. You might get lucky and they may take action against him at work, too. You never know, it's worth a try.

Begin your 1-year separation period. Do not contact him at all. If he contacts you, call the police immediately and tell them "you feel threatened and fear for your safety". Exactly those words, no variation.

Good luck.

Now get that SOB mad so you can start the process

You are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer here, not in your jurisdiction. Although most jurisdictions have similar marital property laws.

You can't kick him out unless there is physical abuse and you can get a retraining order, so that doesn't seem to apply. At a minimum, you will owe him half of the appreciation of the house, if not half the value of the house. You may also owe him child support if you make more and potentially alimony. Add in the cost of two homes, etc. Now you see why so many people stay married.

Not questioning your wisdom for divorce, but you are going to be in for a surprise if you think this isn't going to cost you a hefty sum to him. Call a local lawyer you trust, they can explain the basics in an hour or two.

1/2 appreciation during marriage, minus 1/2 the taxes and interest.

Reqding is fundamental.

She said the house is underwater.

She said she lives in Maryland. I can't imagine anywhere in Maryland that would be underwater especially if she bought it more than 10 years ago (sounds like it was a 10+ year marriage?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the following, exactly: Do. Not. Deviate. Or. Improvise.

Get him really mad at you about something, then call the police.

Tell them you're in fear for your life, from your husband.

DO NOT STATE A SPECIFIC THREAT, unless he makes one. Simply being in fear for your life is enough.

They will remove him from the home pursuant to a TRO being granted. If he resists in any way (pray he does!) they will arrest him. If he resists arrest (pray he does, again!) they may use force.

Once he's out of the home, he can't come back. If he does, he's in violation, and gets arrested. Also, be sure to notify his employer that he is under a restraining order. You might get lucky and they may take action against him at work, too. You never know, it's worth a try.

Begin your 1-year separation period. Do not contact him at all. If he contacts you, call the police immediately and tell them "you feel threatened and fear for your safety". Exactly those words, no variation.

Good luck.

Now get that SOB mad so you can start the process

Note, if this goes wrong and they at all find no reason for the call this will seriously come back to F#@% you over in the actual divorce. Don't take stupid advice like this. Act like an adult, consult a lawyer, follow lawyers advice.

This is why is critical to use VERY SPECIFIC LANGUAGE, as outlined above, to avoid any possible issues.

If you use precisely this exact phrasing, without deviation, it will work. If you improvise or start getting into specifics, it will fail. Stick to the script and law enforcement MUST respond accordingly.

Hope he doesn't have a miniature recorder in his pocket. I had one in my pocket recording every night once my spouse first spoke the word divorce. The recorder will show the cops that he never made the threats you are accusing him of, and the archive of recordings he keeps on his office computer will prove that there is no history of him making violent threats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lawyer here, not in your jurisdiction. Although most jurisdictions have similar marital property laws.

You can't kick him out unless there is physical abuse and you can get a retraining order, so that doesn't seem to apply. At a minimum, you will owe him half of the appreciation of the house, if not half the value of the house. You may also owe him child support if you make more and potentially alimony. Add in the cost of two homes, etc. Now you see why so many people stay married.

Not questioning your wisdom for divorce, but you are going to be in for a surprise if you think this isn't going to cost you a hefty sum to him. Call a local lawyer you trust, they can explain the basics in an hour or two.

1/2 appreciation during marriage, minus 1/2 the taxes and interest.

Reqding is fundamental.

She said the house is underwater.

She said she lives in Maryland. I can't imagine anywhere in Maryland that would be underwater especially if she bought it more than 10 years ago (sounds like it was a 10+ year marriage?).

Are you a millenial? Jesus....stay away from legal AND real estate advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do the following, exactly: Do. Not. Deviate. Or. Improvise.

Get him really mad at you about something, then call the police.

Tell them you're in fear for your life, from your husband.

DO NOT STATE A SPECIFIC THREAT, unless he makes one. Simply being in fear for your life is enough.

They will remove him from the home pursuant to a TRO being granted. If he resists in any way (pray he does!) they will arrest him. If he resists arrest (pray he does, again!) they may use force.

Once he's out of the home, he can't come back. If he does, he's in violation, and gets arrested. Also, be sure to notify his employer that he is under a restraining order. You might get lucky and they may take action against him at work, too. You never know, it's worth a try.

Begin your 1-year separation period. Do not contact him at all. If he contacts you, call the police immediately and tell them "you feel threatened and fear for your safety". Exactly those words, no variation.

Good luck.

Now get that SOB mad so you can start the process

You are a horrible person.

Go back to your MRA meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the following, exactly: Do. Not. Deviate. Or. Improvise.

Get him really mad at you about something, then call the police.

Tell them you're in fear for your life, from your husband.

DO NOT STATE A SPECIFIC THREAT, unless he makes one. Simply being in fear for your life is enough.

They will remove him from the home pursuant to a TRO being granted. If he resists in any way (pray he does!) they will arrest him. If he resists arrest (pray he does, again!) they may use force.

Once he's out of the home, he can't come back. If he does, he's in violation, and gets arrested. Also, be sure to notify his employer that he is under a restraining order. You might get lucky and they may take action against him at work, too. You never know, it's worth a try.

Begin your 1-year separation period. Do not contact him at all. If he contacts you, call the police immediately and tell them "you feel threatened and fear for your safety". Exactly those words, no variation.

Good luck.

Now get that SOB mad so you can start the process

In most states there will be a hearing in 2-4 weeks on the matter. By then he will have legal counsel. The TRO might be lifted then he can return home. The filing of a false TRO might cost the OP custody of her children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sounds like your husband is going to win this divorce. That house is his too. You have been paying the mortgage with marital funds. Doesn't matter whose name is on the deed, or who paid the mortgage. If he's smart he won't leave, he'll go to court and get a court order that you have to keep paying the mortgage for the next 3 years while he lives there rent-free.

Isn't equality great?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the following, exactly: Do. Not. Deviate. Or. Improvise.

Get him really mad at you about something, then call the police.

Tell them you're in fear for your life, from your husband.

DO NOT STATE A SPECIFIC THREAT, unless he makes one. Simply being in fear for your life is enough.

They will remove him from the home pursuant to a TRO being granted. If he resists in any way (pray he does!) they will arrest him. If he resists arrest (pray he does, again!) they may use force.

Once he's out of the home, he can't come back. If he does, he's in violation, and gets arrested. Also, be sure to notify his employer that he is under a restraining order. You might get lucky and they may take action against him at work, too. You never know, it's worth a try.

Begin your 1-year separation period. Do not contact him at all. If he contacts you, call the police immediately and tell them "you feel threatened and fear for your safety". Exactly those words, no variation.

Good luck.

Now get that SOB mad so you can start the process

Next time someone questions the veracity of a woman's accusation, please remember this suggestion. It's women like this PP that ruin other women's credibility about abuse.

[Anonymous]

This is almost certainly from a guy who is trying to insinuate that women regularly make false domestic violence accusations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is almost certainly from a guy who is trying to insinuate that women regularly make false domestic violence accusations.

They do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is almost certainly from a guy who is trying to insinuate that women regularly make false domestic violence accusations.

I did a little research today. There are cases where women make up false allegations of abuse, and after the husband has been found not guilty, he turns around and sues his ex-wife for defamation and slander (some women are dumb enough to post the false allegations on Facebook, "publishing" them somehow).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is almost certainly from a guy who is trying to insinuate that women regularly make false domestic violence accusations.

They do

I'm sure it happens, but this was some guy who was trolling not someone intentionally providing advice on how to make a fake accusation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flip the genders, and ask if it would be ok for a man to throw out his SAHM DW who doesn't financially contribute to the mortgage or bills. There is your answer.

Why do you assume he is a stay at home? He is not. He is gainfully employed and makes over $70,000 a year. He doesn't pay anything towards the mortgage or household bills because I never asked him to. We used his salary for lifestyle things - car, vacations, etc.

There are not two separate buckets of money in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Flip the genders, and ask if it would be ok for a man to throw out his SAHM DW who doesn't financially contribute to the mortgage or bills. There is your answer.

Why do you assume he is a stay at home? He is not. He is gainfully employed and makes over $70,000 a year. He doesn't pay anything towards the mortgage or household bills because I never asked him to. We used his salary for lifestyle things - car, vacations, etc.

There are not two separate buckets of money in a marriage.

Unfortunately not. If there were, I'd still own a house and have a very healthy 401k.