My Fellow Catholics Please Help Me To Understand

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm not a troll or an angry atheist. I'm a life long Catholic trying to understand why do I remain in the Catholic church. All the recent articles and documentaries about the rampant sexual abuse within the church really upsets me. I'm saddened and hurt whenever I come across an article about clergy abusing a child. I spent years working as a child advocate and a crisis counselor dealing with abused children. However, I feel like a hypocrite because I support an institution which covers up the abuse of children. If you're Catholic, then help me understand why do you continually support the church? Why isn't there pressure put on the church to punished clergy who abuse children? Why isn't there pressure to reconcile with victims who have been abused by clergy? It seems like this topic is often times push under the rug when I'm in the company of other Catholics. Us Catholics come together for numerous issues (abortion, poverty, immigration, etc.) However, when it comes to clergy abuse its like silence. No one wants to touch this issue. The Vatican is so powerful that even our government, The Supreme Court, and folks in Congress are afraid to touch this issue. We can hunt down Bin Laden, but we can't prosecute or find pedophile priests? Our government can go head to toe with some of the most vile criminals or terrorists around the world, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? We can nuke places off the face of the earth, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? Even when I try to discuss this issue with some of the priests that I know they become extremely uncomfortable and try to change the subject. I was looking at the crowd during the Walk For Life March this year. I was wondering, "It will be great to see a crowd like this to stand up against clergy abuse here at home around the world. A March Against Clergy Abuse, raising money for victim's legal fees and therapy would be great!" I'm at a lost for words and my heart is truly broke. I even told my husband today that, "I'm not sure if I want to remain Catholic because the Vatican creates a safety bubble for clergy who abuse children." Many of the monsters who have abused children are hiding out with the comforts of retirement. While their victims have yet to get justice and families of deceased love ones are still waiting for justice. Does this upset you as a Catholic? Does it make you angry with God or the church? Help me understand how can many of us (myself included) support the Catholic Church?

I'm at a crossroads here. To leave the Catholic faith equates to rejecting my family, my friends, my culture, my customs, and everything that makes me who I am as a person. I love being a Catholic. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. However, the child abuse issue is not something that I can tolerate or remain silent about. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way or not. If you have felt this way, did you leave the church or did you choose to stay?

You are more than catholic. Many have left and kept their friends and family and even maintained many customs and practices.

The easy solitaire is to join the episcopal church. Very similar religious traditions as the Catholic Church without the child abuse scandals.

Lots of child sexual abuse scandals in the episcopal and Anglican Church. Just not as widely covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if still reading this thread, can see many snares .... Don't debate them or argue with them. You simply say, I am a child of the Church, and go to mass. Ignore this -- it leads to one place and one place alone.

OP - if still reading this thread, the above post might be an example of such a snare. No need to debate or argue about it. You can simply say, "I can make up my own mind."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm not a troll or an angry atheist. I'm a life long Catholic trying to understand why do I remain in the Catholic church. All the recent articles and documentaries about the rampant sexual abuse within the church really upsets me. I'm saddened and hurt whenever I come across an article about clergy abusing a child. I spent years working as a child advocate and a crisis counselor dealing with abused children. However, I feel like a hypocrite because I support an institution which covers up the abuse of children. If you're Catholic, then help me understand why do you continually support the church? Why isn't there pressure put on the church to punished clergy who abuse children? Why isn't there pressure to reconcile with victims who have been abused by clergy? It seems like this topic is often times push under the rug when I'm in the company of other Catholics. Us Catholics come together for numerous issues (abortion, poverty, immigration, etc.) However, when it comes to clergy abuse its like silence. No one wants to touch this issue. The Vatican is so powerful that even our government, The Supreme Court, and folks in Congress are afraid to touch this issue. We can hunt down Bin Laden, but we can't prosecute or find pedophile priests? Our government can go head to toe with some of the most vile criminals or terrorists around the world, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? We can nuke places off the face of the earth, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? Even when I try to discuss this issue with some of the priests that I know they become extremely uncomfortable and try to change the subject. I was looking at the crowd during the Walk For Life March this year. I was wondering, "It will be great to see a crowd like this to stand up against clergy abuse here at home around the world. A March Against Clergy Abuse, raising money for victim's legal fees and therapy would be great!" I'm at a lost for words and my heart is truly broke. I even told my husband today that, "I'm not sure if I want to remain Catholic because the Vatican creates a safety bubble for clergy who abuse children." Many of the monsters who have abused children are hiding out with the comforts of retirement. While their victims have yet to get justice and families of deceased love ones are still waiting for justice. Does this upset you as a Catholic? Does it make you angry with God or the church? Help me understand how can many of us (myself included) support the Catholic Church?

I'm at a crossroads here. To leave the Catholic faith equates to rejecting my family, my friends, my culture, my customs, and everything that makes me who I am as a person. I love being a Catholic. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. However, the child abuse issue is not something that I can tolerate or remain silent about. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way or not. If you have felt this way, did you leave the church or did you choose to stay?

You are more than catholic. Many have left and kept their friends and family and even maintained many customs and practices.

The easy solitaire is to join the episcopal church. Very similar religious traditions as the Catholic Church without the child abuse scandals.

Lots of child sexual abuse scandals in the episcopal and Anglican Church. Just not as widely covered.

and there are fewer of them and it is not systemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm not a troll or an angry atheist. I'm a life long Catholic trying to understand why do I remain in the Catholic church. All the recent articles and documentaries about the rampant sexual abuse within the church really upsets me. I'm saddened and hurt whenever I come across an article about clergy abusing a child. I spent years working as a child advocate and a crisis counselor dealing with abused children. However, I feel like a hypocrite because I support an institution which covers up the abuse of children. If you're Catholic, then help me understand why do you continually support the church? Why isn't there pressure put on the church to punished clergy who abuse children? Why isn't there pressure to reconcile with victims who have been abused by clergy? It seems like this topic is often times push under the rug when I'm in the company of other Catholics. Us Catholics come together for numerous issues (abortion, poverty, immigration, etc.) However, when it comes to clergy abuse its like silence. No one wants to touch this issue. The Vatican is so powerful that even our government, The Supreme Court, and folks in Congress are afraid to touch this issue. We can hunt down Bin Laden, but we can't prosecute or find pedophile priests? Our government can go head to toe with some of the most vile criminals or terrorists around the world, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? We can nuke places off the face of the earth, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? Even when I try to discuss this issue with some of the priests that I know they become extremely uncomfortable and try to change the subject. I was looking at the crowd during the Walk For Life March this year. I was wondering, "It will be great to see a crowd like this to stand up against clergy abuse here at home around the world. A March Against Clergy Abuse, raising money for victim's legal fees and therapy would be great!" I'm at a lost for words and my heart is truly broke. I even told my husband today that, "I'm not sure if I want to remain Catholic because the Vatican creates a safety bubble for clergy who abuse children." Many of the monsters who have abused children are hiding out with the comforts of retirement. While their victims have yet to get justice and families of deceased love ones are still waiting for justice. Does this upset you as a Catholic? Does it make you angry with God or the church? Help me understand how can many of us (myself included) support the Catholic Church?

I'm at a crossroads here. To leave the Catholic faith equates to rejecting my family, my friends, my culture, my customs, and everything that makes me who I am as a person. I love being a Catholic. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. However, the child abuse issue is not something that I can tolerate or remain silent about. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way or not. If you have felt this way, did you leave the church or did you choose to stay?

You are more than catholic. Many have left and kept their friends and family and even maintained many customs and practices.

The easy solitaire is to join the episcopal church. Very similar religious traditions as the Catholic Church without the child abuse scandals.

Lots of child sexual abuse scandals in the episcopal and Anglican Church. Just not as widely covered.

and there are fewer of them and it is not systemic.

+1

The question is not whether leaders abuse or molest in other religions. I don't think anyone is doubting that these crimes are committed by people in positions of power in all religions.

But there does not seem to be evidence that there is the same kind of deep systemic excuse as within the Catholic Church. Protection, rampant cover up, not just no transparency - but having a policy that is completely AGAINST transparency, and is so severely private. A structure that is wholly inhospitable to any outside handling. This kind of corruption does not seem to exist in other organized religions, anywhere to the degree as within the Catholic Church.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't have to be either/or. It's an option to stay in the church and speak out. As a layperson, you have the voice and power to minister to people who have been abused or to be an advocate, or to organize groups to put pressure on the church leaders. Is it a tall task? Of course. But the system can be changed. Are you up for it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm not a troll or an angry atheist. I'm a life long Catholic trying to understand why do I remain in the Catholic church. All the recent articles and documentaries about the rampant sexual abuse within the church really upsets me. I'm saddened and hurt whenever I come across an article about clergy abusing a child. I spent years working as a child advocate and a crisis counselor dealing with abused children. However, I feel like a hypocrite because I support an institution which covers up the abuse of children. If you're Catholic, then help me understand why do you continually support the church? Why isn't there pressure put on the church to punished clergy who abuse children? Why isn't there pressure to reconcile with victims who have been abused by clergy? It seems like this topic is often times push under the rug when I'm in the company of other Catholics. Us Catholics come together for numerous issues (abortion, poverty, immigration, etc.) However, when it comes to clergy abuse its like silence. No one wants to touch this issue. The Vatican is so powerful that even our government, The Supreme Court, and folks in Congress are afraid to touch this issue. We can hunt down Bin Laden, but we can't prosecute or find pedophile priests? Our government can go head to toe with some of the most vile criminals or terrorists around the world, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? We can nuke places off the face of the earth, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? Even when I try to discuss this issue with some of the priests that I know they become extremely uncomfortable and try to change the subject. I was looking at the crowd during the Walk For Life March this year. I was wondering, "It will be great to see a crowd like this to stand up against clergy abuse here at home around the world. A March Against Clergy Abuse, raising money for victim's legal fees and therapy would be great!" I'm at a lost for words and my heart is truly broke. I even told my husband today that, "I'm not sure if I want to remain Catholic because the Vatican creates a safety bubble for clergy who abuse children." Many of the monsters who have abused children are hiding out with the comforts of retirement. While their victims have yet to get justice and families of deceased love ones are still waiting for justice. Does this upset you as a Catholic? Does it make you angry with God or the church? Help me understand how can many of us (myself included) support the Catholic Church?

I'm at a crossroads here. To leave the Catholic faith equates to rejecting my family, my friends, my culture, my customs, and everything that makes me who I am as a person. I love being a Catholic. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. However, the child abuse issue is not something that I can tolerate or remain silent about. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way or not. If you have felt this way, did you leave the church or did you choose to stay?

I am Catholic and have a cousin who was abused by a priest. The very worst of what you have heard the Church did in handling the case is what happened to my cousin and his family. There is no excuse for it. I do know, however, that the majority of priests are not molesting children. I believe in what the Church teaches, but understand that she is also made up of very fallible people. This has been the case since the beginning -- Jesus did call Peter Satan and told him to get behind him at one point. That truly recognizes the sin that we humans bring to our on lives. Because I believe in the doctrine of the Church, I want to stay active and work to ensure that it is making the changes it needs to and MUST do to address this very serious problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I'm not a troll or an angry atheist. I'm a life long Catholic trying to understand why do I remain in the Catholic church. All the recent articles and documentaries about the rampant sexual abuse within the church really upsets me. I'm saddened and hurt whenever I come across an article about clergy abusing a child. I spent years working as a child advocate and a crisis counselor dealing with abused children. However, I feel like a hypocrite because I support an institution which covers up the abuse of children. If you're Catholic, then help me understand why do you continually support the church? Why isn't there pressure put on the church to punished clergy who abuse children? Why isn't there pressure to reconcile with victims who have been abused by clergy? It seems like this topic is often times push under the rug when I'm in the company of other Catholics. Us Catholics come together for numerous issues (abortion, poverty, immigration, etc.) However, when it comes to clergy abuse its like silence. No one wants to touch this issue. The Vatican is so powerful that even our government, The Supreme Court, and folks in Congress are afraid to touch this issue. We can hunt down Bin Laden, but we can't prosecute or find pedophile priests? Our government can go head to toe with some of the most vile criminals or terrorists around the world, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? We can nuke places off the face of the earth, but we can't prosecute pedophile priests? Even when I try to discuss this issue with some of the priests that I know they become extremely uncomfortable and try to change the subject. I was looking at the crowd during the Walk For Life March this year. I was wondering, "It will be great to see a crowd like this to stand up against clergy abuse here at home around the world. A March Against Clergy Abuse, raising money for victim's legal fees and therapy would be great!" I'm at a lost for words and my heart is truly broke. I even told my husband today that, "I'm not sure if I want to remain Catholic because the Vatican creates a safety bubble for clergy who abuse children." Many of the monsters who have abused children are hiding out with the comforts of retirement. While their victims have yet to get justice and families of deceased love ones are still waiting for justice. Does this upset you as a Catholic? Does it make you angry with God or the church? Help me understand how can many of us (myself included) support the Catholic Church?

I'm at a crossroads here. To leave the Catholic faith equates to rejecting my family, my friends, my culture, my customs, and everything that makes me who I am as a person. I love being a Catholic. It has shaped me into the person that I am today. However, the child abuse issue is not something that I can tolerate or remain silent about. I'm not sure if anyone else has felt this way or not. If you have felt this way, did you leave the church or did you choose to stay?

I am Catholic and have a cousin who was abused by a priest. The very worst of what you have heard the Church did in handling the case is what happened to my cousin and his family. There is no excuse for it. I do know, however, that the majority of priests are not molesting children. I believe in what the Church teaches, but understand that she is also made up of very fallible people. This has been the case since the beginning -- Jesus did call Peter Satan and told him to get behind him at one point. That truly recognizes the sin that we humans bring to our on lives. Because I believe in the doctrine of the Church, I want to stay active and work to ensure that it is making the changes it needs to and MUST do to address this very serious problem.

That's one approach. Others can't stand being being a part of a very powerful church that has abused its power horribly and hasn't done enough to fix the damage they've done and looks to its flock for help. People who don't choose to stay in this capacity are not necessarily less committed to catholic doctrine. But they've had it with the Catholic hierarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cardinal Bernard Law came to speak to my Confirmation class in the 80s in a suburb of Boston. Like another PP, I was raised in a Catholic family & was very devout. My parents were Eucharistic ministers etc. I have an uncle who was a priest. But Cardinal Law shook me right out of my faith on the actual day of my confirmation! Instead of talking about a million positive things he could have in the moments before we became adults affirming our chosen faith, he told us a story about a girl who'd been raped by her father and chose to keep the baby. Time & place, folks, time & place. I am not a Bill Maher type who thinks that religious people are stupid. I think the poster who believes the faith has endured for thousands of years & trusts that, not the people in power, is lucky. S/he still has his/her faith and his/her faith community. But Cardinal Law robbed me of my faith, so now I am an agnostic who doesn't know if there is a God, just that I *do* know that manipulative men who use their religious power to try to control young women -- the very same men who apparently covered up pedophilic rape of thousands of my neighbors -- are not part of an organization I need to be ANYWHERE near. Not to mention that our local church shunned my mother when my father divorced her. In her time of need. And that the first man I ever had sex with (who was a good Catholic boy who wanted to marry me) was dysfunctional because he'd been molested by an altar boy (who himself, we can guess, was abused by a priest?). Yeesh. OP, I think you will probably know in your heart of hearts if you can stay with the church or not. I wish I still had faith; I wish I still had a supportive community and the certainty I had as a child when I read scripture and hoped to be a holier person. But if you still believe in *God*, then your issue is probably just which church you feel most comfortable with. If you think you can make change, I do think that changing the church from within is likely a good idea.

+11
I was already agnostic but loved the tradition and community of the catholic church and chose to raise my children with supplemental catholic education. When someone spoke to the girls separately in my daughter's confirmation class about modesty, I had the same thoughts (this was with in the last few years). That's not nearly as bad as a rape story on the day of.

Agree with your advice - change within if you still believe because you are already "in". And the loss of community is real.

[Anonymous]

Grew up catholic and went to catholic schools. I don’t practice anymore because:

1) as a previous poster already stated, the church has an unhealthy fixation on sex. This gives rise not only to child abuse but also priests having affairs and unclaimed children. There are too many bad messages for girls, and I don’t want my daughter exposed to it. My mom is extremely catholic and she asked me if I would ever put my daughter— who is now only 9!!!— on birth control. I said yes, when the time comes and she went on about how important it is for my daughter to “know her value.” I’m certain my daughter knows her value, and to me, it’s extremely important that she knows her value lies in her heart and her brain and not in her pants, but I think the persistent catholic message of sexual purity makes girls believe their whole value is about sex, and that their power lies in not having it.

2) I went to the Vatican. The display of wealth disgusted me.

3) the church simply hasn’t done enough to protect children from predatory clergy. They transfer priests instead of turning them in. Where is the mercy?

All that said, I’m a fan of Pope Francis and think God sent him to reform the church.