Empty Nester Sex - does it get better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:With a child in the house, a lot of 69 going on

Why? Quieter?

I sure wouldn't complain!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No once habits are formed they are hard to break. People who want to have sex have it. No excuses...they just do it. Sorry to say but you will just find other reasons not to have sex.

This exactly. It's actually much worse for us since kids left because. Ow we could have sex anywhere anytime and we still don't. It's awkward and who wants to live like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be empty-nesters after 30 years. I've heard every excuse known, especially the presence of others in the house. Yes, sex when we're away at a hotel/motel happens, so maybe there's hope.

For various reasons, the chance of any break-up in our marriage is slim-to-none. I will remain married because of my integrity, and loyalty to her family. We've remained together even through an affair of hers about 7 years ago. I have the ability to forgive, and know that none of us are perfect.

An empty nest will be a big test of our relationship, and the coupled hope that we'll be drawn closer. If our relationship doesn't more frequently become
intimate, then I'm afraid I've finally seen the "writing on the wall". Knowing that incompatibility and mistaken love was present all these years.

The writing is already on the wall, you just choose to not read it.

Never, ever, blamed myself. Was told by many female friends about 7 years ago that if I chose to cut ties, I would quickly fine happiness in a relationship. Been told that I've aged well at this mid-fifties point, and that open-mindedness was a great quality.

One day, maybe 6 months from now, I'll come back to this thread with an update. I'd like to offer some perspective as to why a long term relationship ends, or why a marriage gains strength when the nest empties. The final test is quickly approaching.

How many close female friends do you have? Maybe your wife didn't like that.

No kidding. If my husband was keeping many female friends I'm not going to be inclined to be intimate with him. Especially if he is backstabbing our marriage behind my back. This poor poster certainly outed himself - he's the problem in the marriage. These harpies he's surrounding himself with probably have crap lives hoping to have his wife's life. PP better wake up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Things can change but both parties need to make the effort. And it takes work. You don't just miraculously become on the same page.

Yes. Not college age, but finding time when kids out and busy.

[Anonymous]

We frequently have quiet sex in our MBR but when my libido is pumping we head down to a guest bedroom in our basement where we can really let loose. When I mention to my husband that I’d like to spend some time in that room he almost flies down the stairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be empty-nesters after 30 years. I've heard every excuse known, especially the presence of others in the house. Yes, sex when we're away at a hotel/motel happens, so maybe there's hope.

For various reasons, the chance of any break-up in our marriage is slim-to-none. I will remain married because of my integrity, and loyalty to her family. We've remained together even through an affair of hers about 7 years ago. I have the ability to forgive, and know that none of us are perfect.

An empty nest will be a big test of our relationship, and the coupled hope that we'll be drawn closer. If our relationship doesn't more frequently become
intimate, then I'm afraid I've finally seen the "writing on the wall". Knowing that incompatibility and mistaken love was present all these years.

The writing is already on the wall, you just choose to not read it.

Never, ever, blamed myself. Was told by many female friends about 7 years ago that if I chose to cut ties, I would quickly fine happiness in a relationship. Been told that I've aged well at this mid-fifties point, and that open-mindedness was a great quality.

One day, maybe 6 months from now, I'll come back to this thread with an update. I'd like to offer some perspective as to why a long term relationship ends, or why a marriage gains strength when the nest empties. The final test is quickly approaching.

How many close female friends do you have? Maybe your wife didn't like that.

No kidding. If my husband was keeping many female friends I'm not going to be inclined to be intimate with him. Especially if he is backstabbing our marriage behind my back. This poor poster certainly outed himself - he's the problem in the marriage. These harpies he's surrounding himself with probably have crap lives hoping to have his wife's life. PP better wake up.

I didn't say that I had "close" female friends. Just ones that knew of the infidelity through other peoples knowledge, and cared for my well-being. I never spread this news to anyone. And above all, I did not want, and will never want to break any kind of trust in my marriage.

Soooooo... men and women can't be friends, and share life's ups-and-downs? Division among everybody in this country is at an all-time high. Clarity for the reason is very clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest heads off to college just after Labor Day and over the last few years our sex life has been pretty meager as both my DH and I have been wary about having sex with teenagers in the house. Our house is pretty small with my daughters bedroom right next to ours and she stays up later than we do. I know we could have done things to work around the issue but we never really did so I'm hoping that becoming empty nesters will help rekindle our sex life to more than once every few weeks. My DH and I have a very good relationship and I'm confident that he is still attracted to me but I worry that once every few weeks is the new norm. Did any of you have the same problem? Did becoming an empty nester rekindle your sex life?

So the OP is 2 years old. Did it? For me, the answer is moderately but it wasn't bad before. The backdoor remains closed however.