Empty Nester Sex - does it get better

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No once habits are formed they are hard to break. People who want to have sex have it.

+1

You could have made it work if you wanted to. We do with kids in the house in the adjacent bedroom. We can be quiet (but not if they're out of the house). We have a lock on our bedroom door.

You didn't want to have sex with kids in the house. You won't with them out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you just go in the shower at night with your husband and tell him to bang the crap out of you?
Lock the door, water on, no worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest heads off to college just after Labor Day and over the last few years our sex life has been pretty meager as both my DH and I have been wary about having sex with teenagers in the house. Our house is pretty small with my daughters bedroom right next to ours and she stays up later than we do. I know we could have done things to work around the issue but we never really did so I'm hoping that becoming empty nesters will help rekindle our sex life to more than once every few weeks. My DH and I have a very good relationship and I'm confident that he is still attracted to me but I worry that once every few weeks is the new norm. Did any of you have the same problem? Did becoming an empty nester rekindle your sex life?

Most of the time i have seen it is the wife that is more concerned with kids being in the house. I have known a few that when the empty nester stage came and the wife was more interested the husband wasnt,it goes both ways. Not that they had lost their sex drive but after years of the wife (or husband) not being interested or "duty sex" they lost interest in their spouse and didnt even see them as a sexual being. I know one guy that said his wife may as well be a big fat hairy hobo he had zero attraction after years of rejection.

Who knows

[Anonymous]

We always had a pretty active sex life in terms of frequency but with kids and teenagers around we kept things pretty low key. Now as empty nesters we don't worry about anything but enjoying the experience whether its in the bedroom, hot tub, kitchen etc. I use to hold my breath so no one could hear me put now I pant with the best of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We started with beginning to have open conversation about our sex life and what each other thought where we were and where we wanted to be. This led into a no holds barred question and answer session and we actually learned things about each other we didn't know before. Using this information we decided to also read a few books. Taking up the practice of enjoying touch and pleasure without "rushing to the end" has been a real treat. Our approach and perception of sex is completely different now. Needless to say we both very much enjoy and look forward to it now. We take the time to set up soft music, essential oil diffuser (lavender), and cold pressed refined coconut oil. Most of all we take our time, verbalize what we want, respect each other, and make sure she "gets there" first. It didn't happen over night

Would you mind sharing the books you’ve read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We always had a pretty active sex life in terms of frequency but with kids and teenagers around we kept things pretty low key. Now as empty nesters we don't worry about anything but enjoying the experience whether its in the bedroom, hot tub, kitchen etc. I use to hold my breath so no one could hear me put now I pant with the best of them.

I'm like you. We use to stay under the blankets in case someone walked in and now once we warm up we toss them aside and the bed becomes a wrestling mat.

[Anonymous]

We've never let our kids put a damper on our sex life. We've even had sex on the front porch after they were? in bed for the night ( that's really kinky and exciting!). We have it in our room when it's too cold for outdoor sex. The tv is on, so if they hear anything, they'd just think we were watching Discovery ID.

[Anonymous]

We were lucky that when our kids were teens we had two flights of stairs up the the second floor and our kids used the stairs far from our bedroom. There must have been 40 feet between our bedrooms and theirs. Perfect family house! Other than closing our door we didn't worry to much about being heard.

[Anonymous]

I worry less about the sex (i'm pretty sex motivated) than actually enjoying all that extra time alone with my DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We started with beginning to have open conversation about our sex life and what each other thought where we were and where we wanted to be. This led into a no holds barred question and answer session and we actually learned things about each other we didn't know before. Using this information we decided to also read a few books. Taking up the practice of enjoying touch and pleasure without "rushing to the end" has been a real treat. Our approach and perception of sex is completely different now. Needless to say we both very much enjoy and look forward to it now. We take the time to set up soft music, essential oil diffuser (lavender), and cold pressed refined coconut oil. Most of all we take our time, verbalize what we want, respect each other, and make sure she "gets there" first. It didn't happen over night

Would you mind sharing the books you’ve read?

Not PP but take a look at Urban Tantra.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can't you just go in the shower at night with your husband and tell him to bang the crap out of you?
Lock the door, water on, no worries.

It is mental for women. Especially dcum women Has to be with someone that can take care of her

[Anonymous]

Soon to be empty-nesters after 30 years. I've heard every excuse known, especially the presence of others in the house. Yes, sex when we're away at a hotel/motel happens, so maybe there's hope.

For various reasons, the chance of any break-up in our marriage is slim-to-none. I will remain married because of my integrity, and loyalty to her family. We've remained together even through an affair of hers about 7 years ago. I have the ability to forgive, and know that none of us are perfect.

An empty nest will be a big test of our relationship, and the coupled hope that we'll be drawn closer. If our relationship doesn't more frequently become intimate, then I'm afraid I've finally seen the "writing on the wall". Knowing that incompatibility and mistaken love was present all these years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soon to be empty-nesters after 30 years. I've heard every excuse known, especially the presence of others in the house. Yes, sex when we're away at a hotel/motel happens, so maybe there's hope.

For various reasons, the chance of any break-up in our marriage is slim-to-none. I will remain married because of my integrity, and loyalty to her family. We've remained together even through an affair of hers about 7 years ago. I have the ability to forgive, and know that none of us are perfect.

An empty nest will be a big test of our relationship, and the coupled hope that we'll be drawn closer. If our relationship doesn't more frequently become
intimate, then I'm afraid I've finally seen the "writing on the wall". Knowing that incompatibility and mistaken love was present all these years.

The writing is already on the wall, you just choose to not read it.

[Anonymous]

We never let kids living under our roof get in the way of our having sex though it certainly made sex more subdued since when we were alone it was always quite “enthusiastic”. Now as empty nesters we don’t worry about anything and the enjoyment level has really increased.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never let kids living under our roof get in the way of our having sex though it certainly made sex more subdued since when we were alone it was always quite “enthusiastic”. Now as empty nesters we don’t worry about anything and the enjoyment level has really increased.

Replies like this give me hope.