Housewife vs SAHM
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Anonymous
We all have only 24 hours in a day, whether we work for pay or not. If you are working in an office during the day, you have to do all of the domestic chores in your non-working hours. Yes, you still do most of the same things that a SAHM does but it's squeezed into fewer hours, which means weekends are spent on household chores or that DH and kids have to pull more weight. As a SAHM, my family gets to enjoy our relaxed weekends together without scrubbing toilets or schlepping to Costco. You do you, I'll do me. |
Anonymous
Not this stuff, though. At least, I haven't found the service that will do the stuff I did last weekend, which included dumping out all of the socks and underwear from my kids' dressers and tossing everything with holes in it and all the socks without mates; pulling all the Tupperware out and trying to match lids and bases and stack it all neatly back in the cabinet; signing the kids up for fall classes at Parks and Rec; ordering a birthday present for my 1-year-old niece; setting up the automatic payment for extended day; depositing two paper dental reimbursement checks; going to the library to get eclipse glasses; etc etc. You know, running a household, having a family. Everyone does this stuff--you can't outsource it. Sure, you can pay to get the groceries delivered and the floors mopped and the lawn mowed. If you're really rich you can get a housekeeper to do some of the stuff like sort the Tupperware, I guess. But most people just find the time to go to Jiffy Lube and drop off the dry cleaning and no one is going to find your kid's glasses or math book for you, and no one is going to plan your vacation. That's just life. |
Anonymous
Wait- I thought dual working families had an equal split of household duties? We hear that all the time on here! ITA with you that many women run the home AND work full time and no- I don't want to do that. |
Anonymous
Good lord, are you always this literal, or is that the time out of the workforce hindering your processing speed? My husband and I both do some of the things on that list. The point is that working parents aren't exempt from grocery shopping, sorting old clothes, planning vacations, "searching for lost items" (SAHMs can find anything to justify what they do all day). We're just way more efficient at it all. And manage to contribute to the world and our bank accounts, as well. YMMV. |
Anonymous
| Then you rightly wouldn't call yourself the household manager. |
Anonymous
My bank account already contains more than I could spend. |
Anonymous
Sounds like you're working too hard. Maybe you need a day off so you won't be so bitter, or jealous. Enjoy your contribution to the world. When I worked, I felt like I was irreplaceable and doing important work. Now, I realize the most important work is being there for my family. |
Anonymous
| I don't have a job where I get paid and I have some little ones. I don't care what people call me. Just do life. |
Anonymous
The stuff you listed is really very, very basic. People sitting at work can take a long enough break to sign their kids up for a Partakes class. Same with the online ordering. It's like putting "shampooed hair, put on makeup, tied shoes" on your list of things that you do. I'm a SAHM. I scrubbed the kitchen floor on my hands and knees yesterday. It's a big floor, it needed a more detailed cleaning than a mop could give it this time around. If I was working I would have very gladly outsourced that job. I also filled the car up with gas which is something that I really don't need outsourced. |
Anonymous
Yes, I am agreeing with you. I think it is silly to list all the basic stuff everyone does and say you are a "family manager," even if you outsource some stuff everyone has to run around and do errands and take care of things around the house. Just say you're a SAHM, don't try and fancy it up, it sounds ridiculous. |
Anonymous
I get that it must make you feel better to believe that I'm stupid. I'm not sure why, but it's clear from your posts. It doesn't reflect poorly on me, but on you. I was clearly replying to the quote ""aren't most women the family manager". If you and your spouse set it up differently why would you take offense to the reply? |
Anonymous
Jealous? I have a significant personal net worth, and work by choice. I work for personal fulfillment and because I enjoy using my intellect and yes, earning money. I'm also there for my family, as my kids are in school until 3:30, go to an hour of aftercare or sports, and I pick them up between 4:30 and 5. I go to every school event, field trip, etc - have never missed one because of work. So how am I not there for my kids? If being called "family manager" because you sort socks and "find lost items" makes you feel useful, go for it. |
Anonymous
You're talking to different people. Sigh. |
Anonymous
| I'm talking to the person that I quoted. It's not my fault if they can't read a quote for context and take statmements that don't apply to them as insults. |
Anonymous
+100 |