SIL following me around FB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

This. OP, you have chosen to share in a public forum. By virtue of it being public you cannot choose who that public is. If you want your stuff to be private then you need to get off of the public forum.

That's ridiculous. The OP doesn't expect to be anonymous, she just expects to not have people who have suspicious motives (at best) literally follow her around reading everything she writes.

Why don't you take this 'people can do whatever you want and you can't stop them' attitude in a way that benefits the OP, who is clearly the innocent party in all of this. As in, "Of course you can do whatever you want! Block that cow!" or "Of course people can do whatever they want, why are you letting your DH control what you do? Of course you can kick off and block anyone you want and even refuse to speak to them again!", etc etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's a lot of work for you, but think about creating a new profile, under a slightly different name and rejoining all your groups there. Block your SIL and any relatives or friends connected with her on the new profile. Don't use a picture of yourself or family as the photo, but something artsy. You could even message specific supportive members of the groups and tell them what is going on and what you plan to do.

Keep your old profile, but only use it occasionally. Tell everyone on your old profile you are taking a break from Facebook. My friends do it all the time, especially during Lent and over the summer. In your case, I would keep your old profile to share whatever you want with family but have your new profile on the support sites. This way, you can enjoy the supportive features of facebook groups with your new profile, but still have relatives on your old profile.

I've debated doing this myself, because I realized potential employers can see the groups I have joined...some of which are dealing with chronic health conditions. So I may be doing the same thing, but for different reasons.

Know this puts a lot of the work on you, but it's either you go underground with your social / support activities on the web, or block you SIL and be up front with her and your whole family. I also have super nosey and non-supportive relatives who minimize what I am going through at times, so I feel your pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

This. OP, you have chosen to share in a public forum. By virtue of it being public you cannot choose who that public is. If you want your stuff to be private then you need to get off of the public forum.

Talk about victim blaming. You should be ashamed of yourself (I know you aren't, but you should be).

Hardly. OP is making an unwise choice as evidenced by all the options she has available to her and as specified here by many people in prior posts. Calling out someone for making a bad choice and who then has the gall to complain about the poor outcomes certainly is not victim blaming. OP cannot expect to broadcast her private information on a public forum and then expect it to remain private. That is ludicrous.

And you're clearly someone who hates people who have any kind of issues. Karma will catch up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Or see if you can find support groups that are not depended on having a Facebook account I'm sure that BabyCenter or other forums have places where you can talk about your postpartum depression anxiety and traumatic birth that don't require you to use your real name.

Everyone can read those posts. Only group members can read posts in private Facebook groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

This. OP, you have chosen to share in a public forum. By virtue of it being public you cannot choose who that public is. If you want your stuff to be private then you need to get off of the public forum.

Talk about victim blaming. You should be ashamed of yourself (I know you aren't, but you should be).

Hardly. OP is making an unwise choice as evidenced by all the options she has available to her and as specified here by many people in prior posts. Calling out someone for making a bad choice and who then has the gall to complain about the poor outcomes certainly is not victim blaming. OP cannot expect to broadcast her private information on a public forum and then expect it to remain private. That is ludicrous.

And you're clearly someone who hates people who have any kind of issues. Karma will catch up to you.

Actually, you're right, karma has caught up with me and life is really, really good. Thanks for reminding me! Hope your life gets better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait she's joining groups that are not where she lives and about topics not of interest just to harass you?

I would certainly block.

I would discuss with my husband why he thinks her behavior is appropriate and why he's backing up his sister over his wife.

Whenever I saw her pop up in one of these groups, I would ask the group moderators to remove her because of her history of harassing you (and lack of history with the topic of interest) And if that didn't work, I would have a pseudonym facebook account to use in these groups.

Yes, this. I would probably also confront her. Ask her why she is a member of the group when she never experienced that. She obviously just joined to spy on you. You could also message the moderator to ask if there are other similar groups that are 'secret' so no one can see that you are a member.

[Anonymous]

Update, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

This. OP, you have chosen to share in a public forum. By virtue of it being public you cannot choose who that public is. If you want your stuff to be private then you need to get off of the public forum.

Talk about victim blaming. You should be ashamed of yourself (I know you aren't, but you should be).

Hardly. OP is making an unwise choice as evidenced by all the options she has available to her and as specified here by many people in prior posts. Calling out someone for making a bad choice and who then has the gall to complain about the poor outcomes certainly is not victim blaming. OP cannot expect to broadcast her private information on a public forum and then expect it to remain private. That is ludicrous.

And you're clearly someone who hates people who have any kind of issues. Karma will catch up to you.

When I was a kid one of our neighbors had a saying: If you take to heart all the shit that life throws at you, then you will die with a heart full of shit. A little coarse maybe but it certainly gets the message across.

Here is Oprah talking about the same concept only in a much more refined way: http://www.oprah.com/inspiration/What-Oprah-Knows-For-Sure-About-Letting-Go

The message is the same. Only one person can keep the heart clean or stop carrying the girl. Which do you choose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry, OP. This is a challenge with FB. I think that this means FB isn't for you. There are other resources on line that provide the same type of support with a bit more privacy. I suggest you do some googling. I used to belong to one for a specific cancer and I know that such groups can be lifesaving.

This. OP, you have chosen to share in a public forum. By virtue of it being public you cannot choose who that public is. If you want your stuff to be private then you need to get off of the public forum.

Talk about victim blaming. You should be ashamed of yourself (I know you aren't, but you should be).

Hardly. OP is making an unwise choice as evidenced by all the options she has available to her and as specified here by many people in prior posts. Calling out someone for making a bad choice and who then has the gall to complain about the poor outcomes certainly is not victim blaming. OP cannot expect to broadcast her private information on a public forum and then expect it to remain private. That is ludicrous.

And you're clearly someone who hates people who have any kind of issues. Karma will catch up to you.

Actually, you're right, karma has caught up with me and life is really, really good. Thanks for reminding me! Hope your life gets better.

Your life will not be really, really good forever.