Not wanting to share recipes

[Anonymous]

My dad had a secret salad dressing that was the best I've ever tasted. He died with the recipe and I'm still mad about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is behavior of women from previous generations who derived their self worth from their cooking and cleaning skills. People who hoard their recipes like that are really silly. I'm a great cook and share my recipes all the time.

Your tone is disgusting to me. I'm an attorney. I hate sharing my recipes. I aspire one day to publish a cookbook as well as pass my recipes down. I can guarantee you my self worth isn't wrapped up in it. And that probably isn't the case for many people.
People aren't obligated to share their recipes. I don't even understand what the big stink is about.

Omg, them publish it. This attitude is the one that drives me nuts. The whole one day I am going to get rich off a handful of recipes so I cannot share my brownie recipe. But usually the person says this for a decade or more and does nothing about it.

[Anonymous]

I always find it strange why people do not share their recipes. I learned to cook using cookbooks, following good techniques and using the best and freshest ingredients that I can buy. My food tastes good and often people will ask me for the recipe. I am always more than happy to share my recipes because of a very simple and selfish reason - I want to eat good food. I have friends and relatives whose food taste terrible because they use terrible recipes, substandard ingredients and take the most foolish shortcuts. If they can follow the recipe I followed then maybe I will get to eat good tasting food when I eat at their house.

With all the recipes now being easily available on the internet, it is foolish to think that any recipe is truly secret.

The recipes at the back of the boxes of ingredients are usually tried and tested at the manufactures test kitchen umpteen times. They usually taste very good and I have no shame in following these recipes precisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My aunt will give a recipe but tell you ONE thing totally wrong so yours won't come out as well as hers.

I think it's ridiculous.

I hate when people do this and always think less of them. I'd rather they just declined to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's one of those things where I would just shrug and then roll my eyes when they aren't looking. If someone asked me for a recipe, I'd be flattered and give it to them (or tell them where I got it from).

But at the same time, I refuse to loan out any of my books any more. Not quite the same a recipes, since they're actual physical things, but I got burned by people not returning books too many times.

Are these "your recipes" you feel free to give out, or a book recipe? Both? I'm just wondering. I like the idea of having special meals myself where people come to my house go get my special Mac And cheese or my husband's ribs with his secret BBQ sauce. Dh and I definitely aren't selfish, but I'll admit it makes me feel good to be able to make these foods special for my family and friends. I'm not keen on giving up my secret recipes just yet.

Both. I'm just tickled when someone likes something I've made so much that they want to make it themselves, particularly when it's one of "my" recipes. I'll give a recent example: I brought wild rice pilaf with caramelized shallots, cranberries, and chopped pecans to Christmas Eve dinner. My SIL's teen stepdaughter (brand new marriage, so I never met the kid before) loved it so much she asked for the recipe herself. (She also has some food allergies and was very excited it was something she could eat) I happily wrote the recipe down for her.

Yes, food is nourishment, but to me food is often so much more. It's about sharing, traditions, love, community, passion. Refusing a recipe, to me, goes against those things.

Sounds scrumptious. I'm sure DCUM would love the recipe too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is behavior of women from previous generations who derived their self worth from their cooking and cleaning skills. People who hoard their recipes like that are really silly. I'm a great cook and share my recipes all the time.

Your tone is disgusting to me. I'm an attorney. I hate sharing my recipes. I aspire one day to publish a cookbook as well as pass my recipes down. I can guarantee you my self worth isn't wrapped up in it. And that probably isn't the case for many people.
People aren't obligated to share their recipes. I don't even understand what the big stink is about.

LOL. It is just a recipe. Not the nuclear codes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:this is behavior of women from previous generations who derived their self worth from their cooking and cleaning skills. People who hoard their recipes like that are really silly. I'm a great cook and share my recipes all the time.

Your tone is disgusting to me. I'm an attorney. I hate sharing my recipes. I aspire one day to publish a cookbook as well as pass my recipes down. I can guarantee you my self worth isn't wrapped up in it. And that probably isn't the case for many people.
People aren't obligated to share their recipes. I don't even understand what the big stink is about.

Omg, them publish it. This attitude is the one that drives me nuts. The whole one day I am going to get rich off a handful of recipes so I cannot share my brownie recipe. But usually the person says this for a decade or more and does nothing about it.

Pp here. Frankly it isn't about getting rich. I want to get full credit for the recipes that I've taken time to create. I don't see what's so wrong with that. I don't expect to get rich off of anything. I probably should've gone to culinary school to be a chef because I'm that serious about food. It's art to make something from scratch into a scrumptious and beautiful dish that people enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Pp here. Frankly it isn't about getting rich. I want to get full credit for the recipes that I've taken time to create. I don't see what's so wrong with that. I don't expect to get rich off of anything. I probably should've gone to culinary school to be a chef because I'm that serious about food. It's art to make something from scratch into a scrumptious and beautiful dish that people enjoy.

Why? Is this the main thing in your life you're proud of? Do people not deserve to eat something they like unless they're aware of the food's lineage? When you serve it, do you give credit for everyone whose work contributed to it? "Well, I had something like this at Restaurant X in Cambridge, and then I saw something similar in the New York Times, only without the pecans, and then I remembered Shirley Corriher talking about the difference blanching makes . . . "

No cook is an island.

[Anonymous]

How bizarre and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How bizarre and selfish.

<<meaning not wanting to share recipes in general - not responding to the previous post.>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL doesn't like to share her secret chocolate chip cookie recipe because it's the exact same one on the back of the toll house bag.

I bet this is also pretty common. People don't want you to know that their food is totally basic. So they pretend it's a secret. Silly.

There are millions of recipes on the internet. I bet you can find anything you want to find.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad had a secret salad dressing that was the best I've ever tasted. He died with the recipe and I'm still mad about that.

That is a good post and made me smile. Thank you! Sounds like he was well-loved!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Pp here. Frankly it isn't about getting rich. I want to get full credit for the recipes that I've taken time to create. I don't see what's so wrong with that. I don't expect to get rich off of anything. I probably should've gone to culinary school to be a chef because I'm that serious about food. It's art to make something from scratch into a scrumptious and beautiful dish that people enjoy.

Why? Is this the main thing in your life you're proud of? Do people not deserve to eat something they like unless they're aware of the food's lineage? When you serve it, do you give credit for everyone whose work contributed to it? "Well, I had something like this at Restaurant X in Cambridge, and then I saw something similar in the New York Times, only without the pecans, and then I remembered Shirley Corriher talking about the difference blanching makes . . . "

No cook is an island.

No, I'm proud of many things, as I mentioned before, just because someone withholds a recipe it doesn't mean that their self worth is tied up in it or that it is their biggest accomplishment. I would say passing the bar is mine, but that doesn't prohibit me from being tight handed with my favorite cookie recipe or my best pie. Restaurants do this all of the time. Who creates those dishes, people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Pp here. Frankly it isn't about getting rich. I want to get full credit for the recipes that I've taken time to create. I don't see what's so wrong with that. I don't expect to get rich off of anything. I probably should've gone to culinary school to be a chef because I'm that serious about food. It's art to make something from scratch into a scrumptious and beautiful dish that people enjoy.

Why? Is this the main thing in your life you're proud of? Do people not deserve to eat something they like unless they're aware of the food's lineage? When you serve it, do you give credit for everyone whose work contributed to it? "Well, I had something like this at Restaurant X in Cambridge, and then I saw something similar in the New York Times, only without the pecans, and then I remembered Shirley Corriher talking about the difference blanching makes . . . "

No cook is an island.

No, I'm proud of many things, as I mentioned before, just because someone withholds a recipe it doesn't mean that their self worth is tied up in it or that it is their biggest accomplishment. I would say passing the bar is mine, but that doesn't prohibit me from being tight handed with my favorite cookie recipe or my best pie. Restaurants do this all of the time. Who creates those dishes, people do.

You're not a restaurant or a chef, you're an attorney who, at best, is going to end up self-publishing a cookbook, an item for which there is a shrinking market because anyone can go online and get a recipe for anything. Unless you're an established household name or the only person in a really niche area that serves people who can't navigate Food Network or AllRecipes.com, there is no money in this and publishing would mostly likely be just a vanity expense. You'd make more money off a food-porn blog like Pioneer Woman. You're certainly not obligated to share, but, in this day and age, it comes across as a really weird thing to get proprietary. Food is amazing and fun and taking it so seriously that you think your recipes are a top secret kills the joy in preparing and eating it.

[Anonymous]

NP. Re the above post: we self-published a family recipe cookbook. We used all the "old" family recipes (even the purposefully flawed ones) and then all the new ones from the younger set. We included pictures and family lore. We are an immigrant family and basically our family traditions start here. It is a much beloved book and it gives all our great cooks a chance to shine!