360-lb family member... No plans to lose weight. Odds of heart attack?

[Anonymous]

You don't know OP. I have a friend who is about the same weight and has been so for over 30 years. He's tried to lose weight, nothing much works (has not tried surgery). His wife, who was in much better shape, died before him and he is still going strong at age 60+.

You don't ever know OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is his quality of life? I mean, is he happy?

He is unmarried, lives with his parents, unemployed, very angry all the time.

Well, these are what need to be addressed. The weight is most likely a byproduct of all of these other issues.

To all the PPs who have accused me of being insensitive, we rarely comment on his weight. I think everyone is very gentle with him. He sometimes doesn't leave his room for days or bathe for weeks. Occasionally, we will ask him to improve his hygiene. He has had some health issues and claims that they have opened his eyes but he continues with his same habits. He eats healthy in front of family but he has a car and it is littered with McDonald's bags.

He has a small income of about $500/week from a family trust, so he isn't completely destitute. His living expenses are mostly taken care of by his parents. It's just very exhausting being concerned for him, because I worry what will happen 15-20 years from now and who will be responsible for him.

Weight loss surgery

It's the only thing at his weight that is going to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is his quality of life? I mean, is he happy?

He is unmarried, lives with his parents, unemployed, very angry all the time.

Well, these are what need to be addressed. The weight is most likely a byproduct of all of these other issues.

To all the PPs who have accused me of being insensitive, we rarely comment on his weight. I think everyone is very gentle with him. He sometimes doesn't leave his room for days or bathe for weeks. Occasionally, we will ask him to improve his hygiene. He has had some health issues and claims that they have opened his eyes but he continues with his same habits. He eats healthy in front of family but he has a car and it is littered with McDonald's bags.

He has a small income of about $500/week from a family trust, so he isn't completely destitute. His living expenses are mostly taken care of by his parents. It's just very exhausting being concerned for him, because I worry what will happen 15-20 years from now and who will be responsible for him.

The correct frequency is "never."

As a recovering binge eater this makes my heart hurt. There is no easy answer and you're not a bad person for noticing or wanting to help, but I can tell you that this is a source of deep shame for him. Diets won't work. Therapy might.