Asexual

[Anonymous]

Desire is almost all hormone based. If you injected your boyfriend with testosterone, he would be all over you. Wouldn't matter what you looked like.

Same with all these men wondering what happened to their high libido wife. What happened, a drop in T post-kids. George Clooney married to a low T woman, no sex. Obese dad bod married to high T woman, monkey sex

Repeat after me. Libido = T. Read this https://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/220/transcript

Quote: After testosterone, there was no narrative. There was no language whatsoever. It was just, I would see a woman who was attractive-- or not attractive. She might have an attractive quality-- nice ankles or something-- and the rest of her would be fairly unappealing to me.

But that was enough to basically just flood my mind with aggressive pornographic images, just one after another. It was like being in a pornographic movie house in my mind. And I couldn't turn it off. I could not turn it off. Everything I looked at, everything I touched turned to sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP. He has made me feel cheap in that I want sex and that I have a serious problem. I am pretty upset.

Previous male PP. Very understandable that you're upset.

Try to appreciate that a low T man simply does not "get" normal sexual desire. Sex is not something he absolutely needs like he needs oxygen (or like a normal man needs it). It's like you're trying to convince a fish that he needs to fly a plane. He just can't see the need for it or why he should want to do it. This is no reflection on you or your attractiveness, he's just not getting the right chemicals in his brain to fire up his libido.

But as I said, this can be changed if he wants to. If he goes on TRT then you'll get all the sex you want, and maybe even more.

Ignore all the "he must be gay" nonsense. Gay men are not low T. Just the opposite in many cases.

What's got you overreacting here, PP? Any man can be low T. It's a medical condition. Gay men get low T too. And the question was simply asked about his possible sexual preference because it's one of the things you need to consider when a man refuses to have sex with a woman.

I didn't see anyone insisting he's gay or that she should force herself on him, as your overwrought posts suggest. She should give it some thought, and discuss the subject with him. He's most likely straight, low T, and so freaked out by it all that he's avoiding dealing with it in any way. But if she never took the time to consider more possibilities, and he did turn out to be gay, she'd be wasting her time trying to make things work with him. They both deserve to be more happy than they are now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's got you overreacting here, PP? Any man can be low T. It's a medical condition. Gay men get low T too. And the question was simply asked about his possible sexual preference because it's one of the things you need to consider when a man refuses to have sex with a woman.

"He must be gay" is always trotted out whenever a woman on DCUM complains about a low-drive or low-T man, and it is utterly moronic. The number of gay men in the population is miniscule. There are easily ten times as many hetero men afflicted with low T than gay men. There is no need to consider the possibility of homosexuality when a vastly more probable answer - he is hetero but low T - exists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's got you overreacting here, PP? Any man can be low T. It's a medical condition. Gay men get low T too. And the question was simply asked about his possible sexual preference because it's one of the things you need to consider when a man refuses to have sex with a woman.

"He must be gay" is always trotted out whenever a woman on DCUM complains about a low-drive or low-T man, and it is utterly moronic. The number of gay men in the population is miniscule. There are easily ten times as many hetero men afflicted with low T than gay men. There is no need to consider the possibility of homosexuality when a vastly more probable answer - he is hetero but low T - exists.

You left out the PP's quote where they said he's most likely low T and unable to cope, so is avoiding it all. That doesn't mean it can't cross your mind to consider whether someone's gay. You sure get worked up over the gay question.

[Anonymous]

You're not married to this guy OP, so get out while you can. An active healthy sex life is important, critical to a successful marriage or relationship. Without the sex, you're basically just friends. With no benefits. Like roommates.

Why subject yourself to that when you don't have to? You don't owe him anything. DTMFA!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's got you overreacting here, PP? Any man can be low T. It's a medical condition. Gay men get low T too. And the question was simply asked about his possible sexual preference because it's one of the things you need to consider when a man refuses to have sex with a woman.

"He must be gay" is always trotted out whenever a woman on DCUM complains about a low-drive or low-T man, and it is utterly moronic. The number of gay men in the population is miniscule. There are easily ten times as many hetero men afflicted with low T than gay men. There is no need to consider the possibility of homosexuality when a vastly more probable answer - he is hetero but low T - exists.

You left out the PP's quote where they said he's most likely low T and unable to cope, so is avoiding it all. That doesn't mean it can't cross your mind to consider whether someone's gay. You sure get worked up over the gay question.

If he said he is low T and unable to cope, it is stupid to conclude from that he is gay.

And you are stupid to conclude that pointing out the extreme statistical improbability of him being gay indicates I'm "worked up over the gay question".

There are hardly any gay men in the world. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Seems like the BF is happy and OP is in a relationship. Therefore, they're in a happy relationship.

He doesn't see a problem. You do. No getting around this, really, and you don't have kids or even a marriage license. So why stay in this unless you derive benefit from the social standing of "Having a Boyfriend"?