Would you date a convicted felon?

[Anonymous]

The guy did 3 years in the can. Prison changes a person and usually not in a positive way.

If you are into pegging, he could be good for a one night stand.

[Anonymous]

No, not with multiple convictions.

I can see dating someone who'd done something stupid when young and then remained on the straight-and-narrow for many years with no other incidents. But what you described, the person has yet another felony charge added 5 years ago and has only been out of jail for ~4 years.

Plus, in having a relative who is a felon, their job prospects are pretty shitty... restaurant work, mainly. The one I know can't get any job in which he'd need to drive or operate heavy machinery (like construction site) because of his felony DUI conviction. He got a job as a janitor for a bit, but most larger places with better pay (hospitals, big offices, federal buildings, etc.) require a record with no felony convictions.

[Anonymous]

Yes if he was willing to share the millions of cash he managed to hide before going "away."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, for a violent crime like armed robbery definitely no. For a non-violent offense, say a white collar crime like securities fraud, insider trading or the like, I might say yes.

I have a friend who married a guy who did 2 years of a 5 year sentence for a white collar crime. We all gave her side eyes when she started dating him and told her to keep it fun, but don't fall for him. What'd she do? Fell for him and the lifestyle he could provide. They got married and not even 3 years later the FBI was serving a search warrant to her at their house and he was locked up again. He got a 7 year sentence this time and she divorced him about a year into the ordeal. Someone who steals money is always going to steal money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was just the first felony, and many years had passed, and the person had obviously changed, maybe did some therapy, shown evidence of leading a responsible, disciplined life (decent career, finished college, etc.) I might consider it. But it's obviously a major red flag.

The second felony, 15 years later, is a deal-breaker. A DUI would be one thing, but fleeing the scene of an accident and assaulting a police officer is ridiculous -- especially for someone who is probably 40 years old at this point. It's hard to believe that this person has "changed."

Exactly. Reminds me of that quote -- "when people show you who they are, believe them." A felony conviction many years ago is a one-off. Two convictions is a deal breaker. He has a criminal mindset (freely able to lie, cheat and steal if it benefits him). That's who he is.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the backstory here?!

[Anonymous]

Eminem Nanny again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eminem Nanny again?

I was coming here to say that. It's definitely her.

[Anonymous]

It's funny listening to all these white women talk about how incarceration or criminal records are deal-breakers for them. Funny, and sad at the same time, because of the implied, subtle racism of the posts. Reinforced by the pic of the light skinned blue-eyed brother from page 3....

Do you have any idea how hard it is for WOC to find a man who doesn't have a background? 1 in 8 black men have records, mostly due to systemic racism in the police and criminal justice system. Do you think we can afford to be that picky?

And to make matters worse, our best and brightest prospects end up dating or marrying white women much of the time. And there's not really a bunch of white men knocking down the door to date black women.

And then you ask each other "why don't you have black friends?"


Shaking my head in disbelief......

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny listening to all these white women talk about how incarceration or criminal records are deal-breakers for them. Funny, and sad at the same time, because of the implied, subtle racism of the posts. Reinforced by the pic of the light skinned blue-eyed brother from page 3....

Do you have any idea how hard it is for WOC to find a man who doesn't have a background? 1 in 8 black men have records, mostly due to systemic racism in the police and criminal justice system. Do you think we can afford to be that picky?

And to make matters worse, our best and brightest prospects end up dating or marrying white women much of the time. And there's not really a bunch of white men knocking down the door to date black women.

And then you ask each other "why don't you have black friends?"


Shaking my head in disbelief......

Black woman here. It's not that hard. In my circle, all black female friends with black husbands, none of the men have records and all of them are degreed and successful professionals.
my circle
Racism is a problem, but so is older generations of black women ( and men) continuing the myth that it's next to impossible for black women to get a black man unless she drops her standards to the bottom. That is downright dangerous.

[Anonymous]

I have an amazing friend (black man, mid 30's, chemical engineer, wife and kid) who grew up in poverty, raised by his grandparents and had to claw his way up to finally get his Masters at age 35.
He was in prison for 2 years for armed robbery at 19-20.