He won't spend the night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been dating this man for 5 weeks. We are getting along really well and communicating daily between dates. We have gone on 7 dates together and have slept together. I can tell he genuinely likes me. Just won't go into details but before parting ways, he always asks me when we are going to see each other next. He is very busy at work (so am I) and I am pleased with the amount of time he devotes to me. I can see he is making efforts.
The only thing is that he will not spend the night with me. I really don't make a big deal of it but it is starting to bother me. We've had week night dates and weekends but after we've had sex, talked for a while and cuddled he goes home. We have made plans to do a day trip next weekend and i asked if he would spend the night away too and he responded that he has to see what else is going on that weekend.
Does anybody have any advice, input or experience to share?

OP, we can all theorize till cows come home. Just ask him. If you are getting naked with someone, you can definitely ask them uncomfortable questions. If you are afraid to ask, then something's going on and you need to examine your own feelings about this discomfort.

[Anonymous]

Ask him! Too many relationships struggle because people don't ask questions when somethings bothering them. Let us know what his answer is!

[Anonymous]

The whoring slut wants to know you he won't spend the night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he wets the bed.
It's only been 5 weeks, OP. Relax.
I've been married for 10 years, but still don't love sleeping next to someone all night. It's hard to get a good night's sleep, being woken by noise and movements and worrying I'm doing the same to them. And morning breath grosses me out. I never wanted to be grossed out by someone I'd only started dating.

God, I hope so. You must ask him and report back to let us know if he wets the bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At what point is it okay to ask if you don't want to scare him off?

Thank god I don't have to date anymore. Married for 20 years. These new rules sound exhausting.

If asking a question "scares off" a man you are better rid of him

[Anonymous]

I don't think he's married. Spending the night together is very intimate and for some yes more intimate than actually having sex. And five weeks is very early for true emotional intimacy. I assume you are dating exclusively? Plus if he has any sleep issues such as insomnia, apnea, etc he may be gun shy. It's clearly important to you which is fair and it's important for you to express your needs. I would just ask him about it outright. No, one on this site will be able to answer that for you.

[Anonymous]

Married or a live in girlfriend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think he's married. Spending the night together is very intimate and for some yes more intimate than actually having sex. And five weeks is very early for true emotional intimacy. I assume you are dating exclusively? Plus if he has any sleep issues such as insomnia, apnea, etc he may be gun shy. It's clearly important to you which is fair and it's important for you to express your needs. I would just ask him about it outright. No, one on this site will be able to answer that for you.

100% this.

I'd be suspicious, but I'm not like every other psycho on this board who is SO TOTALLY CERTAIN they know him and know your life as to say he's definitely married. People have all kinds of quirks. It wouldn't be too outrageous to guess he had a health condition. But I do agree that you should just ask him. If he gets really put off by you just asking, he's not the guy for you anyway.

[Anonymous]

How old is he? He might have emotional issues (RUN) or he is married.

[Anonymous]

90 percent of you are f*cking nuts. he may be a light sleeper or have trouble sleeping outside of his bed or just not place the same kind of emotional significance on staying over. I rarely stayed over when I was dating my wife. I don't sleep easily and had trouble sleeping on her small uncomfortable bed.

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:90 percent of you are f*cking nuts. he may be a light sleeper or have trouble sleeping outside of his bed or just not place the same kind of emotional significance on staying over. I rarely stayed over when I was dating my wife. I don't sleep easily and had trouble sleeping on her small uncomfortable bed.

OP

Continued: OP, you need to talk to your boyfriend about these things instead of engaging in this weird indirect tea leaf reading. People place different emotional significance on these things. Instead of assuming some sort of lack of interest or cheating or whatever, ask him about it and explain that it's important to you.

[Anonymous]

You are over thinking this. He enjoys sex. He enjoys sleeping in his own bed. The end

[Anonymous]

Have you spend the night at his place?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:90 percent of you are f*cking nuts. he may be a light sleeper or have trouble sleeping outside of his bed or just not place the same kind of emotional significance on staying over. I rarely stayed over when I was dating my wife. I don't sleep easily and had trouble sleeping on her small uncomfortable bed.

OP

That is fine but I am pretty sure you TOLD your lady that so that she understood why. He has not said explicitly why he wont and that is what OP is bothered by. Either you accept that he has no good answer or find someone who won't make you raise the question. My sweetie prefers his bed to mine but he loves me and sleeps at my house sometimes anyway.

[Anonymous]

It's still pretty early at 5 weeks and he's demonstrating that he likes you in other ways. I would just give it some time. If in another month he's still not spending the night then I would ask him about it (keeping it light).