It can't be that i'm the only....

[Anonymous]

I'm a 30-ish mom who has been on the young DC social scene for years. Not sure what your background is OP, but it's hard to be the first in your group of friends with kids as a PP pointed out.

When I got married, things socially were a little different (my DH wasn't a "scene" guy at all) but my friends were still my friends. When I got pregnant, my friends were excited for me but weren't quite sure where they fit in the new equation and frankly, I didn't know either.

Bottom line, I still go out from time to time. I still participate in charity events, but I no longer chair anything because as my DH says "charity starts at home". Maybe when I'm older... In the meantime, what's helped me is I'm still me. I still shop in the same stores. I still eat in the same restaurants. I just have a kid now and I can't do all my "me" stuff all the time anymore. But you know what, I love being a mom. You'll meet other cool moms. Don't let the old, stuffy ones get you down.

Ok, old stuffies: come flame me!!!

[Anonymous]

I am curious to discover why women - who suddenly have kids and become SAHMs - find it difficult to make friends.

My friends are those whom I met PRE-marriage, PRE-kids. They are STILL my friends.

Other than the fact that I care for two young ones (and am now working again PT), I haven't changed at all.

What happens to you women who are seeking out friendships? Did you NOT know yourselves before you got married and had kids?

I think most of us in this boat moved here recently. I have a dozen super close friends that I would trust my life with---they just all happen to live elsewhere because we moved here last year knowing no one. I've met about 2 life-long Washingtonians since I've moved here out of the 30 odd moms I've met. Most of us are finding our way both as new moms and as new residents of the area. And as soon as we do we'll likely all move again (to the suburbs or out of area). Have you not found this area to be super transient? At least where I am (upper NW DC) it's insanely so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 30-ish mom who has been on the young DC social scene for years. Not sure what your background is OP, but it's hard to be the first in your group of friends with kids as a PP pointed out.

When I got married, things socially were a little different (my DH wasn't a "scene" guy at all) but my friends were still my friends. When I got pregnant, my friends were excited for me but weren't quite sure where they fit in the new equation and frankly, I didn't know either.

Bottom line, I still go out from time to time. I still participate in charity events, but I no longer chair anything because as my DH says "charity starts at home". Maybe when I'm older... In the meantime, what's helped me is I'm still me. I still shop in the same stores. I still eat in the same restaurants. I just have a kid now and I can't do all my "me" stuff all the time anymore. But you know what, I love being a mom. You'll meet other cool moms. Don't let the old, stuffy ones get you down.

Ok, old stuffies: come flame me!!!

To a mom in her 20's, you sound old and stuffy. Why don't you accept other older moms as we accept you too? You can pretend that you are cool, but you are still middle aged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 31 and about to have my first. Many women around me are also around my age and about to have kids. Many women who have toddlers now were my age when they had their kids. I'm not sure who you're hanging out with, but I'm a pretty typical lawyer in DC who sees a lot of women our age (and "young," we're not) who are pregnant or have babies.

where do you live? that you are finding women around you your age about to have kids....

I live in Arlington and there are many women around my age here who are having babies. But neighborhood is irrelevant; as I said, many of my attorney women friends also had/are having babies around this age. They live in all different areas of DC and the 'burbs -- from Capitol Hill to Woodley Park to Arlington to Vienna.

[Anonymous]

"I am curious to discover why women - who suddenly have kids and become SAHMs - find it difficult to make friends.

My friends are those whom I met PRE-marriage, PRE-kids. They are STILL my friends.

Other than the fact that I care for two young ones (and am now working again PT), I haven't changed at all.

What happens to you women who are seeking out friendships? Did you NOT know yourselves before you got married and had kids? "

It depends on your friendships and how you maintain them. I had a lot of casual friends and have never real maintained long time friendships for life. I just have a hard time keeping in touch even though I was pretty social. With kids the logistics change and we moved out to the suburbs. I still get invited to things but I'm too tired and less interested in going to an evening show opening at an art gallery. We go to Disney not Paris now etc. We get up at 5:30 am with the kids so its a challenge to meet people for dinner at 9 and not fall asleep before the main course comes.

For the OP don't worry about being young. Kids age you and by the time your child is in preschool and doing playdates you will meet lots of moms. I'm older and perhaps clueless but just found out yesterday that one of the moms I know is early 30s and 10 years younger than me. I thought we were around the same age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 30-ish mom who has been on the young DC social scene for years. Not sure what your background is OP, but it's hard to be the first in your group of friends with kids as a PP pointed out.

When I got married, things socially were a little different (my DH wasn't a "scene" guy at all) but my friends were still my friends. When I got pregnant, my friends were excited for me but weren't quite sure where they fit in the new equation and frankly, I didn't know either.

Bottom line, I still go out from time to time. I still participate in charity events, but I no longer chair anything because as my DH says "charity starts at home". Maybe when I'm older... In the meantime, what's helped me is I'm still me. I still shop in the same stores. I still eat in the same restaurants. I just have a kid now and I can't do all my "me" stuff all the time anymore. But you know what, I love being a mom. You'll meet other cool moms. Don't let the old, stuffy ones get you down.

Ok, old stuffies: come flame me!!!

To a mom in her 20's, you sound old and stuffy. Why don't you accept other older moms as we accept you too? You can pretend that you are cool, but you are still middle aged.

But you clearly don't accept her, as your first sentence makes clear. With the life expectancy for women approaching 80, I'm not sure where you're getting that "30-ish" is middle aged. Even more perplexing is why you care so much. Unless there's a aging portrait of you tucked away in an attic somewhere, you'll be 30, 35, 40, etc. yourself one day.

[Anonymous]

Dang, the poor OP just asked for some advice- how did this turn into such an anger fueled contest as to who accepts whom and who's too young/old to understand.

That's just so typical of you mothers between the ages of 23 and 44.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dang, the poor OP just asked for some advice- how did this turn into such an anger fueled contest as to who accepts whom and who's too young/old to understand.

That's just so typical of you mothers between the ages of 23 and 44.

You're back. I thought the cupcake wars drove you away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 30-ish mom who has been on the young DC social scene for years. Not sure what your background is OP, but it's hard to be the first in your group of friends with kids as a PP pointed out.

When I got married, things socially were a little different (my DH wasn't a "scene" guy at all) but my friends were still my friends. When I got pregnant, my friends were excited for me but weren't quite sure where they fit in the new equation and frankly, I didn't know either.

Bottom line, I still go out from time to time. I still participate in charity events, but I no longer chair anything because as my DH says "charity starts at home". Maybe when I'm older... In the meantime, what's helped me is I'm still me. I still shop in the same stores. I still eat in the same restaurants. I just have a kid now and I can't do all my "me" stuff all the time anymore. But you know what, I love being a mom. You'll meet other cool moms. Don't let the old, stuffy ones get you down.

Ok, old stuffies: come flame me!!!

To a mom in her 20's, you sound old and stuffy. Why don't you accept other older moms as we accept you too? You can pretend that you are cool, but you are still middle aged.

But you clearly don't accept her, as your first sentence makes clear. With the life expectancy for women approaching 80, I'm not sure where you're getting that "30-ish" is middle aged. Even more perplexing is why you care so much. Unless there's a aging portrait of you tucked away in an attic somewhere, you'll be 30, 35, 40, etc. yourself one day.

New poster here - but I don't think she was "not accepting" of this 30ish poster. She was simply stating a fact. Girls in their early 20s think we are middle-aged.

I am 33 and feel (and look) young, but I know now that I'm a wife and a mom my 24-year-old admin. asst. thinks I'm on a whole different planet than her. And we are friends, and joke around at work, but the truth is, I am. When I think of my life at 34, what I was doing, where I was living, etc., it WAS a whole different world.

It doesn't bother me in the least. I had my early 20s, and enjoyed them. Went out, felt beautiful at times, got attention, had the feeling that my whole life was ahead me. It was great. But I wouldn't go back if someone paid me. And, those 20 year olds who think I am middle-aged will not be 20 forever. They, too, will age. All of them will. Some will get married and have babies, just like me, and they will be in a different world than their 20 year old self.

[Anonymous]

Sorry - typo - meant when I think of my life at 24, not 34.

[Anonymous]

21:19 Poster here- umm no cupcakes- different person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all I didn't post anything for everyone to attack each other about what they considered old or young. I reached out to see if anyone knew of younger mother's out there......and yes younger meaning in the late 20's early 30's...you in your 40's admit you are getting OLDER!!!

And you're not, Peter Pan?

Bitter much

Oh - I suppose the Peter Pan reference went right over your pea-brained head, Bitter Much Gal.

How about this? Replace Peter Pan with Botox Lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First of all I didn't post anything for everyone to attack each other about what they considered old or young. I reached out to see if anyone knew of younger mother's out there......and yes younger meaning in the late 20's early 30's...you in your 40's admit you are getting OLDER!!!

And you're not, Peter Pan?

Bitter much

Oh - I suppose the Peter Pan reference went right over your pea-brained head, Bitter Much Gal.

How about this? Replace Peter Pan with Botox Lady.

Been there done that...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 31 and about to have my first. Many women around me are also around my age and about to have kids. Many women who have toddlers now were my age when they had their kids. I'm not sure who you're hanging out with, but I'm a pretty typical lawyer in DC who sees a lot of women our age (and "young," we're not) who are pregnant or have babies.

where do you live? that you are finding women around you your age about to have kids....

I live in Arlington and there are many women around my age here who are having babies. But neighborhood is irrelevant; as I said, many of my attorney women friends also had/are having babies around this age. They live in all different areas of DC and the 'burbs -- from Capitol Hill to Woodley Park to Arlington to Vienna.

Not in Georgetown....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dang, the poor OP just asked for some advice- how did this turn into such an anger fueled contest as to who accepts whom and who's too young/old to understand.

That's just so typical of you mothers between the ages of 23 and 44.

Thank you...People are so rude on here!