Getting Married in 2 months....but I love someone else I can't have

[Anonymous]

OP - what was your co-worker's reaction to your getting engaged? And did you invite her to your wedding?

[Anonymous]

OP, you're a selfish disgusting pig! I hope you end up alone and miserable!

[Anonymous]

You don't love the other women, you love the idea of the other woman. How can you love somebody you don't really know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either cut this woman off, or call off the wedding. You are emotionally intimate with her, and it's preventing you from being fully present to your fiancé. Single woman is getting what she wants - a piece of you without the obligations of s real relationship. You're stuck in a fantasy with her. You can't have both, op. You have to makes decision.

I know, I need to do something but as the time gets closer and closer to the wedding I want to see her more and more. This week I called her every day first thing in the morning just to chat and talk about our evenings and what the day had in store for us. I know I am potentially sabotaging my marriage but there is an almost genetic calling I have for this woman. It isn't a sex thing where I just want to have at her, I just want to be in her presence. I have to stop. I have to figure this out but everytime I lay down a plan I catch myself phoning or texting or something, just reaching out to know she is there.

So this other woman answers your constant phone calls? She knows of your feelings towards her? She would be with you apart from marriage thing? If she is avoiding you, and not reciprocating in calling you, you sound like a stalker. Either way, you are a terrible person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2 months I will be walking down the isle with a lovely woman. I feel like I love her and I feel like she loves me. We have had a long distance relationship but have worked really hard to get to know each other and spend time with each other. We both have children from other marriages. I work with a woman that is my absolute best friend, at least that is what I have to tell/portray to every one else. The reality is I love this woman deeply and I have a really hard time just staying away from her. She moved to another place for work so I see her occasionally and we text and phone each other at least once a day. It has been over a year and a day rarely goes by when I have no contact with her. She is successful in her career, independent, beautiful beyond the telling, a little older than me and pretty well to do. She is single. I know she is not that woman for me but I can't shake her, I can't not be in some type of contact with her. We talk and talk and talk and she understands me, supports me and stands by me through thick and thin. I have to let her go and I don't know how. I can't start my new marriage like this. How do I do this? Am I wrong for marrying someone else when I have this level of feeling for another woman even though I know I can never be with her and the best I will ever have is the friendship I have now.

That's not love, it's infatuation. Otherwise you both would have made a life together. Love is compatible people that make it work and stay together. I will bet if you lived with her and paid bills etc. she isn't so perfect.

Completely stop contacting her basically because you are engaged and move on. You're wasting oxygen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either cut this woman off, or call off the wedding. You are emotionally intimate with her, and it's preventing you from being fully present to your fiancé. Single woman is getting what she wants - a piece of you without the obligations of s real relationship. You're stuck in a fantasy with her. You can't have both, op. You have to makes decision.

I know, I need to do something but as the time gets closer and closer to the wedding I want to see her more and more. This week I called her every day first thing in the morning just to chat and talk about our evenings and what the day had in store for us. I know I am potentially sabotaging my marriage but there is an almost genetic calling I have for this woman. It isn't a sex thing where I just want to have at her, I just want to be in her presence. I have to stop. I have to figure this out but everytime I lay down a plan I catch myself phoning or texting or something, just reaching out to know she is there.

So this other woman answers your constant phone calls? She knows of your feelings towards her? She would be with you apart from marriage thing? If she is avoiding you, and not reciprocating in calling you, you sound like a stalker. Either way, you are a terrible person.

Unbalanced.

[Anonymous]

I got dumped the night before what was supposed to be my second wedding because my fiancé was in love with someone else. Please don't do this to your fiancée, tell her now!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - what was your co-worker's reaction to your getting engaged? And did you invite her to your wedding?

She was happy for me. Yes invited but it is scheduled right when she had a previously planned trip for work so can't make it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2 months I will be walking down the isle with a lovely woman. I feel like I love her and I feel like she loves me. We have had a long distance relationship but have worked really hard to get to know each other and spend time with each other. We both have children from other marriages. I work with a woman that is my absolute best friend, at least that is what I have to tell/portray to every one else. The reality is I love this woman deeply and I have a really hard time just staying away from her. She moved to another place for work so I see her occasionally and we text and phone each other at least once a day. It has been over a year and a day rarely goes by when I have no contact with her. She is successful in her career, independent, beautiful beyond the telling, a little older than me and pretty well to do. She is single. I know she is not that woman for me but I can't shake her, I can't not be in some type of contact with her. We talk and talk and talk and she understands me, supports me and stands by me through thick and thin. I have to let her go and I don't know how. I can't start my new marriage like this. How do I do this? Am I wrong for marrying someone else when I have this level of feeling for another woman even though I know I can never be with her and the best I will ever have is the friendship I have now.

I would bet money this woman thinks of OP more as a brother or relative. He has in no way said she has reciprocated any of his very obvious intentions. Does this woman even have a clue about what is going on in OP's mind? I doubt it. She isn't even attending his wedding

[Anonymous]

Princess Diana's ghost just told me she thinks you should call off the wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't use the women you are about to marry. She deserves far more than you can give her.

My now exDH used me in this way - to have a marriage and kids, even though he liked me but wasn't in love with me. I loved him deeply, but what he did devastated my life. I think of him now as a thief - he stole my autonomy and power by hiding his true feelings. It would have been so much better if he had just been honest. I could have dealt with anything. But his dishonesty robbed me of years and a life that I will never get back.

You are a coward and a user if you do not come clean and call off the wedding now.

+1. Your fiance deserves a husband who wants to be with her and only her. You do not. Even if "your work love" isn't available, you should not get married. Cancle now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Princess Diana's ghost just told me she thinks you should call off the wedding.

Omg, you people are SO dramatic!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2 months I will be walking down the isle with a lovely woman. I feel like I love her and I feel like she loves me. We have had a long distance relationship but have worked really hard to get to know each other and spend time with each other. We both have children from other marriages. I work with a woman that is my absolute best friend, at least that is what I have to tell/portray to every one else. The reality is I love this woman deeply and I have a really hard time just staying away from her. She moved to another place for work so I see her occasionally and we text and phone each other at least once a day. It has been over a year and a day rarely goes by when I have no contact with her. She is successful in her career, independent, beautiful beyond the telling, a little older than me and pretty well to do. She is single. I know she is not that woman for me but I can't shake her, I can't not be in some type of contact with her. We talk and talk and talk and she understands me, supports me and stands by me through thick and thin. I have to let her go and I don't know how. I can't start my new marriage like this. How do I do this? Am I wrong for marrying someone else when I have this level of feeling for another woman even though I know I can never be with her and the best I will ever have is the friendship I have now.

I would bet money this woman thinks of OP more as a brother or relative. He has in no way said she has reciprocated any of his very obvious intentions. Does this woman even have a clue about what is going on in OP's mind? I doubt it. She isn't even attending his wedding

+1 on this. This could be very one-sided and OP is just short of a stalker. Yeah call off marriage cause you could end up having your new wife bail you out of jail if you go to far and this woman gets a hint about what is really going on in your head and isn't up for it.

[Anonymous]

You're an idiot if you get married when you truly do not love the person that you are marrying. You're playing with her life here. This is not a game of cards. You're also a coward if you can't man up and do the right thing. I have more balls than you do, and I'm a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2 months I will be walking down the isle with a lovely woman. I feel like I love her and I feel like she loves me. We have had a long distance relationship but have worked really hard to get to know each other and spend time with each other. We both have children from other marriages. I work with a woman that is my absolute best friend, at least that is what I have to tell/portray to every one else. The reality is I love this woman deeply and I have a really hard time just staying away from her. She moved to another place for work so I see her occasionally and we text and phone each other at least once a day. It has been over a year and a day rarely goes by when I have no contact with her. She is successful in her career, independent, beautiful beyond the telling, a little older than me and pretty well to do. She is single. I know she is not that woman for me but I can't shake her, I can't not be in some type of contact with her. We talk and talk and talk and she understands me, supports me and stands by me through thick and thin. I have to let her go and I don't know how. I can't start my new marriage like this. How do I do this? Am I wrong for marrying someone else when I have this level of feeling for another woman even though I know I can never be with her and the best I will ever have is the friendship I have now.

I would bet money this woman thinks of OP more as a brother or relative. He has in no way said she has reciprocated any of his very obvious intentions. Does this woman even have a clue about what is going on in OP's mind? I doubt it. She isn't even attending his wedding

+1 on this. This could be very one-sided and OP is just short of a stalker. Yeah call off marriage cause you could end up having your new wife bail you out of jail if you go to far and this woman gets a hint about what is really going on in your head and isn't up for it.

They talk every day. Every. Day. She has a clue. BS on her having a previously planned work trip and cannot make the wedding of the person she talks to every. single. day.