Help! My parents are arriving this weekend and DH just emailed me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring because he's allergic to it apparently. He puts it on and develops an itchy red rash on his finger. It's actually a running, inside joke between us.

He doesn't wear wrist watches either for the same reason.

I guess people look at us when we're out and think "Look at that floozy married woman out with that single guy!" Lol.

allergy
I have a kid with nickel allergy...has plastic braces because of it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring because he's allergic to it apparently. He puts it on and develops an itchy red rash on his finger. It's actually a running, inside joke between us.

He doesn't wear wrist watches either for the same reason.

I guess people look at us when we're out and think "Look at that floozy married woman out with that single guy!" Lol.

allergy
I have a kid with nickel allergy...has plastic braces because of it

In my husband's case I think it's because his skin gets irritated when he sweats and there is moisture trapped under the wedding band. It irritates his skin. He wore braces as a kid w/o issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's my mother. The woman is like Hedda Hopper on steroids. Seriously, she has a vicious mind and the tongue of a viper. I don't care what she thinks but I'd rather not deal with her thousand questions and her deposition on why my husband wasn't wearing his wedding ring.

As a contrarian, take off your rings as well during her visit. Enjoy seeing the woman stew!

Then when she leaves, take the time, both of you, to pick out a nice ring for your husband. Don't rush into what should be a romantic purchase just to appease an overbearing mother - that's really too sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's my mother. The woman is like Hedda Hopper on steroids. Seriously, she has a vicious mind and the tongue of a viper. I don't care what she thinks but I'd rather not deal with her thousand questions and her deposition on why my husband wasn't wearing his wedding ring.

I get it, my mom is the same. Eventually you say, enough is enough. Get a backbone, OP. Seriously! Stand up to her. You'll feel wonderful. You are a grown adult.

I do stand up to her. It's simply more pleasant not to have the evening's topic of conversation be his ring finger.

So tell her to drop it and walk out of the room if she doesn't. Set boundaries.

.

Or bring it up yourself, repeatedly, every time she raises another topic of conversation. "Coming for Thanksgiving? I dunno, we may be busy shopping for a new wedding ring for Dan."

Or do totally strange things. "Why I am hopping through the living room? Just trying to get your mind off Steve's ring. Is it working?"

Just take your rings off, too, Op. She won't notice. Almost guaranteed. And if she does notice just say "Oh, I forgot that we took them off when we went swimming the other day at the rec center".

[Anonymous]

OP, we took my DH's replacement wedding ring back to the priest who married us. She blessed the new ring. Then she told us it's incredibly common for rings to get lost. I think she has blessed a lot of replacement rings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring because he's allergic to it apparently. He puts it on and develops an itchy red rash on his finger. It's actually a running, inside joke between us.

He doesn't wear wrist watches either for the same reason.

I guess people look at us when we're out and think "Look at that floozy married woman out with that single guy!" Lol.

allergy
I have a kid with nickel allergy...has plastic braces because of it

In my husband's case I think it's because his skin gets irritated when he sweats and there is moisture trapped under the wedding band. It irritates his skin. He wore braces as a kid w/o issues.

It may be an allergy to a particular metal. My dad had same problems with gold. He got a platinum wedding band for that reason an sticks to stainless steel, chrome, leather watches and generally avoids gold for any jewelry (not that he wears much).

Have your husband get a cheap ring of a different metal and see if he has a reaction to that. If he can confirm that it's a particular metal he can get a replacement wedding band that avoids that metal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's opposite here-- DH wears his ring and I don't. The other night we were out at a bar and the waitress gave us the side eye and asked if we wanted our checks separate or together. DH and I just LOLd.

We had that. My wife has a princess cut engagement ring and her wedding ring is a wrap that goes around the engagement ring. But it sticks out a bit. When our twins were young, she had to stop wearing the ring because she kept poking and scratching the kids with her ring. The kids were about 3 when she started carrying and holding them less and was able to start wearing her ring again. But we never got the fish-eye or a strange look from anyone. Maybe they assumed we weren't together because we're an inter-racial marriage. We've been married 15 years and we still have people that assume we are not married or question whether we are married when we are out together. Even when we walk in holding hands or something.

[Anonymous]

kay jewelers.

[Anonymous]

hah. We're a mixed-race couple, too, and whether we wear rings or not, we've been getting the "Are you two together????" question for two decades. Even when we're with our biracial kids. People are in their own little worlds.

[Anonymous]

I get it! DH is in California for the weekend, and MIL thought that we had broken up. He is gone for ONE weekend for a bachelor party. ONE weekend. After passive aggressive messages since she clearly saw facebook photos, he calls her back and tells her that he is still in love with me.

Well, that didn't satisfy her. Then, cousin (FIL's sister's daughter), calls ME up and says "I'm so concerned. I heard you and [DH's name] are having problems." She said that MIL called her and said that we are fighting and that he "had to get away". Huh?

I explain that we are okay, so cousin says to me "well, have you heard from him?" "no, he's not going to call this weekend and I'm okay with it." And, then cousin says, "I just don't think that's a good relationship if a husband wants to be away from his wife for a weekend and isn't calling her, but is calling his own mom."

AHHHHHHHHHH!

And, cousin is 45-years old! I feel like she is just MIL's little evildoer, because MIL knows that I would record that conversation and DH would have killed her, but now MIL will claim she has "no idea" why cousin would call. ARRRRGGG!

[Anonymous]

OP here. 16:50 and I have the same mother.

I can report that my mother did not notice the wedding ring situation at all. Instead, she for some reason fixated on the notion that my 11 year old daughter allegedly did not want her there. My daughter was bewildered, dismayed and in tears most of the weekend.

It was the first time I have had to sit down and have a talk with her about how her grandmother loves her very much but is pretty crazy. I tried to get her not to personalize the situation. I was pretty depressed to see my mother extending her borderline behavior to my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 16:50 and I have the same mother.

I can report that my mother did not notice the wedding ring situation at all. Instead, she for some reason fixated on the notion that my 11 year old daughter allegedly did not want her there. My daughter was bewildered, dismayed and in tears most of the weekend.

It was the first time I have had to sit down and have a talk with her about how her grandmother loves her very much but is pretty crazy. I tried to get her not to personalize the situation. I was pretty depressed to see my mother extending her borderline behavior to my daughter.

Then mom never comes back. Protect your daughter especially as she hits the vulnerable pre teen stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, my husband doesn't wear his wedding ring because he's allergic to it apparently. He puts it on and develops an itchy red rash on his finger. It's actually a running, inside joke between us.

He doesn't wear wrist watches either for the same reason.

I guess people look at us when we're out and think "Look at that floozy married woman out with that single guy!" Lol.

allergy
I have a kid with nickel allergy...has plastic braces because of it

In my husband's case I think it's because his skin gets irritated when he sweats and there is moisture trapped under the wedding band. It irritates his skin. He wore braces as a kid w/o issues.

I have a nickel allergy and also wore braces with no issues.

The metal in braces shouldn't cause an issue!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. 16:50 and I have the same mother.

I can report that my mother did not notice the wedding ring situation at all. Instead, she for some reason fixated on the notion that my 11 year old daughter allegedly did not want her there. My daughter was bewildered, dismayed and in tears most of the weekend.

It was the first time I have had to sit down and have a talk with her about how her grandmother loves her very much but is pretty crazy. I tried to get her not to personalize the situation. I was pretty depressed to see my mother extending her borderline behavior to my daughter.

Oh, OP, my heart goes out to you. My mom wasn't that bad but sometimes she got something going on in her head and you couldn't convince her that it wasn't about her.