Friends coming over but bored

[Anonymous]

So you are all suggesting playdates should be either parent led or with screens?

[Anonymous]

I think the issue, is that they can't go outside either.

You need to plan ahead and find them stuff to do to help your DD out.

When my 10 YO dd has friends over, most time is spent outside, maybe do a craft, and usually play "just dance" on the wii for a bit.

You can't play board games for a 3 hour playdate.

Could you plan on something they could make, like cupcakes? Take them to a park? Perhaps invest in a Wii? They have used ones at gamestop.

I have a shy younger DD and I really think ahead and talk with her about what she and her friends can do so she has a good experience.

[Anonymous]

I have a 10yr old and I am the leader of a Girl scout troop. We have a no handheld electronic ban during meetings and playdates. We also have a massive backyard with swing set, trampoline, and ping pong under the deck. Basketball net in driveway. We have had countless sleepovers. I am fine with some TV at night and even cooperative video games like Just Dance, Wii Sports Resort, etc... But the phones and tablets are checked at the door in a bowl.

Other things the girls do:

Riding bikes around the neighborhood. If they are near parks they can try to geocaching or letter boxing. My oldest loves to set up letterboxes.

Set up a scavenger hunt, put on dance contests, etc.. I taught them how to play Fox and the Hound and Kick the Can and they all love that. Oh, Baby in the Air too. Last summer we had massive gatherings of Capture the Flag at night.

Adult coloring books and gel pens, spirograph, fashion plates, friendship bracelets, geodes, Legos, etc..

American Girl Dolls. Some of my 8yr old's friends made a big diner with the old play food. That was really cute.

Of course baking too but that sometimes involves me and I like to be hands off as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Honestly after reading most of these comments I think that's the problem! That's why kids are bored all of these parents planning play dates. A play date for me is just that. Don't expect me to take you somewhere( that's an outing)or bake with you you are here to play with my child. All these other parents are setting unrealistic expectations for these kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is older but my advice is to not invite the kids over who are constantly bored. We have everything you could imagine and yet there will always be the one bored kid. It has nothing to do with what you do or don't have and it's more about that particular kid.

+1

[Anonymous]

My 9 yo daughter came home from a shy friend's playdate and loved it. Her mom had put together a scavenger hunt where they followed clues around the house. Then they baked. It was a bit more parent-led than may be typical at this age, but it avoids the problem that the guest is bored (and may not want to come again?). I wouldn't think you'd want to do this the full time, but maybe it breaks the ice? A structured-something-unusual, and then set them up to do the next activity, themselves? And maybe have some idea in your back pocket in case things don't seem to be going well... (You see a theme in these responses that involves baking-- partly it's a fun activity, and partly because 10 year olds love EATING. They'd never go home from a cookie decorating playdate saying they didn't have a fun time!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you are all suggesting playdates should be either parent led or with screens?

No, posters made specific suggestions for the situation when the host child is very shy and appears to have social anxiety. Those children often need more social support from adults in childhood to engage and learn social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is older but my advice is to not invite the kids over who are constantly bored. We have everything you could imagine and yet there will always be the one bored kid. It has nothing to do with what you do or don't have and it's more about that particular kid.

Agree with this.
By age 10, some kids are turning into interesting humans who can find something to do in any situation, some are turning into whiney, boring people. Avoid the later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD and her friends typically entertain themselves. They do nails and hair. They watch tv. They make up plays. They do crafts - right now they are making jewelry and bookmarks. They make music lys. They listen to music. They shop online and then beg us moms to buy them new clothes. They bake. That's all I can think of.

Right now we don't have a tv and tend to not let kids use games/computers. We are wondering if we are outliers and that is part of why bored.

We will keep crafts handy thought they had outgrown that.

Movie and ice skating and such are great but right now we are kind of limited to at home play dates when we host.

I am sorry but you are better off not inviting the kids over

Is it the TV? We will be able to afford one soon, paying for that addition made us cut the cord and we had been just streaming on computers so far...

My 9 year old would not want to go to your house to play bored games. It's not the lack of tv. It is the lack of entertainment period. No electronics, no going out, nothing that cost money. Umm ok... take them to feed the homeless?

Wow, you two PPs are pretty terrible. Are you really raising your kids that way??

My 9 year old has plenty of screen time at home, but would be perfectly fine going to a house for a playdate where there was no TV.

OP, you've gotten some good suggestions. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is older but my advice is to not invite the kids over who are constantly bored. We have everything you could imagine and yet there will always be the one bored kid. It has nothing to do with what you do or don't have and it's more about that particular kid.

+1

This! So true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 10yr old and I am the leader of a Girl scout troop. We have a no handheld electronic ban during meetings and playdates. We also have a massive backyard with swing set, trampoline, and ping pong under the deck. Basketball net in driveway. We have had countless sleepovers. I am fine with some TV at night and even cooperative video games like Just Dance, Wii Sports Resort, etc... But the phones and tablets are checked at the door in a bowl.

Other things the girls do:

Riding bikes around the neighborhood. If they are near parks they can try to geocaching or letter boxing. My oldest loves to set up letterboxes.

Set up a scavenger hunt, put on dance contests, etc.. I taught them how to play Fox and the Hound and Kick the Can and they all love that. Oh, Baby in the Air too. Last summer we had massive gatherings of Capture the Flag at night.

Adult coloring books and gel pens, spirograph, fashion plates, friendship bracelets, geodes, Legos, etc..

American Girl Dolls. Some of my 8yr old's friends made a big diner with the old play food. That was really cute.

Of course baking too but that sometimes involves me and I like to be hands off as much as possible.

I wish you were my daughter's troop leader!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP have any of your daughters friends come out and said they were bored?
I don't think you should put a restriction on video games/computers but other than that I think there are some good suggestions here.

One has, but there definitely is some lag in their time together. DD hasn't been invited over much elsewhere so unclear what happens at other play date. Like I said she is shy and we sucked at kid socializing when she was in k-3. What do kids do?

I think your restriction on electronics, especially given your daughter's shyness, is a mistake.

I don't. I think it's smart OP. I have a third grade boy and I hate that every play date he goes to seems to devolve into an electronics session. We have very limited electronics at our house as well and yes, it forces him (and me) to be more creative, but so far, so good. The kids play foosball a lot and also run around in the yard. They like Nerf guns. (I realize this is a boy thing.) But there is no way I'd let a play date here focus on electronics so please don't feel bad that you don't offer that.

I love the cooking together idea. What kids wouldn't like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD and her friends typically entertain themselves. They do nails and hair. They watch tv. They make up plays. They do crafts - right now they are making jewelry and bookmarks. They make music lys. They listen to music. They shop online and then beg us moms to buy them new clothes. They bake. That's all I can think of.

Right now we don't have a tv and tend to not let kids use games/computers. We are wondering if we are outliers and that is part of why bored.

We will keep crafts handy thought they had outgrown that.

Movie and ice skating and such are great but right now we are kind of limited to at home play dates when we host.

I am sorry but you are better off not inviting the kids over

Is it the TV? We will be able to afford one soon, paying for that addition made us cut the cord and we had been just streaming on computers so far...

My 9 year old would not want to go to your house to play bored games. It's not the lack of tv. It is the lack of entertainment period. No electronics, no going out, nothing that cost money. Umm ok... take them to feed the homeless?

Guessing that your 9 YO is a bit of a PITA?

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel better, my son has been good friends with a kids since preschool. They are now 10 and get along great, but everytime the kid is at our house he is "bored". Honestly, it is just him trying to be cool or get more screen time. Then once I say "that is too bad" they find something to do.

I don't know about girls, but if boys can destroy something, they are happy : ) Last playdate, they found an old broken bubble maker and spent two hours dismantling it.

[Anonymous]

Are there parents actually blasting other parents that restricting electronics is a BAD thing?

Are you the cool kids trying to convince everyone else to take a drag.