Friends coming over but bored
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Anonymous
| We have 5 TVs in the house and 2 different gaming systems. When my daughter was 9 or 10 and had friends over, they loved to play a wii karaoke game. Now they are in high school and I often am knee deep in girls playing Just Dance. They also walk our dog, make cookies, do homework, work on sketches, and a ton of other stuff. |
Anonymous
And have everything you say recorded? Nope. |
Anonymous
http://www.kidspot.com.au/things-to-do/activities/how-to-make-a-yarn-octopus OP, I used to make these when I was a girl back in the early 80s. They are easy, cheap and fun to make, and I remember everyone thought they were so cute back in elementary. You can get everything she needs from walmart for cheap. |
Anonymous
Weird, I totally disagree. NP here. We do have a TV but don't let our kids watch during the week or during play dates. They do have movie nights sometimes. I have an 8 yo and a 10 yo and we host friends weekly for both. 8 yo: they listen to music, draw, write and perform plays, play with dolls and toys, run around the house being crazy. 10 yo: they play baseball in our TINY backyard, hang out listening to music, set "booby traps" around the house, talk, look at baseball cards. And yes, sometimes they play board games. No one has ever complained of being bored. |
Anonymous
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Since you mentioned your DD is already shy, you have to realize that entertaining a friend one on one can be very hard and anxiety producing for such kids.
Even at that age, I did have to be proactive in playdates with my DD who was the same. This meant checking in every now and then and suggesting activities and sometimes even participating. Don't worry about butting in because at that age most kids are still ok with the parents and I found they often enjoyed the chance to be the center of attention of another adult. Make sure to have a begin and end time for playdates and make them short until your DD is more comfortable. Start with just 90 minutes and then expand from there. Ask your DD if having more than one girl over would help. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. Electronics didn't really matter too much because most of my DD's friends were also not watching much tv and didn't have free access to phones and devices at home. Mostly I allowed tv at the end of the playdates when things were winding down. |
Anonymous
We were like this too, and it was a little awkward for our son, because his friends seem used to doing just video games etc and he is not so good at talking with people. But for our daughter, it was never really an issue, because they love playing pretend games (she has a play laptop, phones, etc, as well as other things.) she still likes this, through 10. If they are bored, we usually have some craft kit that she got for a b-day present that they could work on. Of course, for both our son and daughter, they can also go play outside (on the front yard) |
Anonymous
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I don't think you have to have a TV, OP, since you say you still stream shows/movies.
10/11 is such a hard age for girls, I think, because they're too old for dolls/toys, but still too young for being dropped off places (mall, movies, etc.). DD and her friends would watch YouTube videos and make their own (weren't allowed to post them online). They also liked making crafts (those little rubber band bracelets were the rage then... I forget the name). I taught them how to make the friendship bracelets that were popular when I was a kid and they loved that. Sometimes they'd have a movie party (which you can still do on an iPad) or baking party. Baking always seems to be a hit with tween and teen girls. My DD (17) and her friends will still pile in the kitchen and make a mess trying out the latest dessert they found on Pinterest. When it was nice weather outside, they enjoyed basketball, kicking the soccer ball around, and badminton (of all things) as well as spreading out a blanket and coloring outside. Mani/Pedi makeovers were always a big hit as well. I'd let them play with makeup after getting the okay from the other moms, but they weren't allowed to wear it out of the house. I don't think you necessarily have to spend a bunch of money doing things with them outside of the house for them to have fun. One cheap thing might be to host a movie afternoon where you take them to the dollar store and allow each to pick out a box of movie candy. Also, making homemade slime seems to be a huge thing right now. From what I understand, you just need some glue, soap, and food coloring. My kids went through an anti-board game phase in their tween years. Now that they're both teens, board games have become more popular again. Don't toss those games quite yet! My DS would play Monopoly every week if he could recruit enough people. |
Anonymous
| Your kids are at an age when play dates are outgrown and hanging out happens. What are you expecting them to do without TV, games or computers? They are not going to play hide and seek anymore. I am truly sick of these old fashioned parents who forbid their kids to be normal 2017 kids and then complain about it. You are creating a problem for you kids and then complaining about your kids not having friends. |
Anonymous
Our seven year old had a play date and their favorite activity was to watch YouTube videos on her Chrome book. They also worked on coloring apps on the iPads. So yes there is a lot of electronic use during play dates and it starts as early as young elementary school age. |
Anonymous
| My daughter is older but my advice is to not invite the kids over who are constantly bored. We have everything you could imagine and yet there will always be the one bored kid. It has nothing to do with what you do or don't have and it's more about that particular kid. |
Anonymous
The old fashioned parents were always the parents of the crazy ones in college. One of my college roommates was not only the daughter of old fashioned parents, but also the daughter of the local pastor. Double whammy for them. She'd never been allowed to attend any school dances or parties, was only allowed to watch 7th Heaven and Touched by an Angel (not even joking), and they didn't have the internet yet at her house. This was back in the fall of 2000 and spring of 2001 semesters. She would claim the TV in the common room and spend hours watching everything that had been forbidden before. Then she discovered that she could get DVDs from Blockbuster in the mail and it was on! If she wasn't watching hours of TV in the common room or our room, she was drunk and bringing home random guys. Halfway through the spring semester my other suite mates and I were fed up with her crazy behavior and had scheduled a meeting with our RA, but before we could have it, the roommate got alcohol poisoning and the ER called her parents. She must have lied and told her parents we corrupted her because as they left the suite after packing her stuff to take her home, they sneered, "we'll be praying for you ladies." A few weeks later she called our other suite mate and said, "hey, um, my parents accidentally packed your birth control pills that you wanted me to hold for you, so um, don't have intercourse. Kthanxbye." That became our new running joke... "Emma, can you hold my Advil for me. Don't have intercourse! Kthanxbye." |
Anonymous
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I also have a shy DD and from my experience, when they say they are bored they really just don't know what to do together. So I usually jump in and ask them if the want to do something like bake brownies or cookies. We have had a few girls over that I think are just a lot more mature and they don't seem to have the same interests as my DD. We also have had some that seem more interested in talking to me or playing with our baby than DD. If it is really not going well they might put on a movie or show to help pass the time. It isn't ideal, but the girls usually laugh together or talk a little bit about what it going on. This has happened a couple times and it is really because the girls just don't have much in common and it helps pass the time until the girl gets picked up.
Hopefully your DS will "find her people" soon and this won't be an issue. |
Anonymous
| My 11 yr old daughter still has this dynamic. I know she loves to draw, play board games, bake, kick around a soccer ball (she even will still play with her younger sib's playmobil occasionally), but with any friend over other than her best friend, she is frozen in terms of what to suggest. I am not a huge proponent of kids playing together with screens, but wii just dance or youtube videos almost always solve the issue. Also, when I suggest a board game, I often realize that the friend has never played the ones we have or else just isn't interested in board games generally. |
Anonymous
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An IPad should help. You could do Netflix pretty cheaply. My dd is in 5th grade-- they do a lot of drawing off of YouTube videos and copying internet drawing sites. They will do crafts-- all the kits she gets for birthday gifts get pulled out on play dates. They like to bake cookies while listening to music.
Even if they are watching TV, they are socializing during it. They like different iPad apps too. Is it intellectually edifying? No. But there are popular apps and it helps her join the conversation with others. At my family reunion all the teens talked about at first were their Pokemon Go points -- and that gave them a starting off point for better conversations. YouTube is amazing for play dates for girls-- they can learn to do hair/make-up/dance moves, etc. Get an iPad.  Good luck. My dd is fine now, but when she was younger she didn't really know how to host so I had to help get things going. It was tiring, but worth it.
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Anonymous
WTF??? Playdates are for the kids to play independently. It is good for them and parents. The heck if I am going to make crafts, pizza and ice cream. What kind of BS is this? |