"Sorry, no siblings please."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are family friends. This is a pin the tail on the donkey party with neighbors. The younger child has spent countless hours over there and we are all friends. They do not go to school together. It's only moms because the hostess is a single mom. Otherwise dads would probably come, but the vibe over there is not that dad friendly. It's not laser tag. It's someone's house she is normally invited to and now she's being left out. My husband, who is very very low drama, is more annoyed than I am about this.

None of this matters.

She is not invited and that is the family's prerogative.

You are being rude in trying to tell them how to do their (*their*) social event.

Yeah, I guess. I thought we were closer friends than I think we are. I had just finished helping her get into a therapist I know for her daughter and we had been dealing with some fairly personal issues. It felt natural to just say both girls are free (she had called to ask about the date-like we are close enough that she wouldn't hold the party when we weren't available) and if you would invite them both, i would hang out during and bring some adult drinks. Oh well. I suppose I am the rude one. I will be with my younger child now instead of us all going. We all used to hang out there a lot until we moved one neighborhood away. I can't imagine paying a sitter or asking my husband to reschedule plans so we will play by the rules and just drop off the older one.

Why would your husband have made plans when your younger daughter wasn't actually invited to the party? You were that presumptuous that you thought you could tell the hostess that of course your younger child should be invited to a party she wasn't actually invited to and you were so confident in your demand that you told your husband to go ahead and make plans because there wouldn't be a chance that he would need to stay home with younger daughter? And you have the hubris to feel put out that your demand for an invitation has been ignored?

You're a piece of work and I don't understand how this woman even would want to be friends with you.

[Anonymous]

My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

Again: Your choice. Your Dd is invited to a party. DD2 is not. It is on you to make that work, logistics-wise. Take it or leave it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

I am seeing why your friend is enforcing boundaries. You are a pain in the neck to interact with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

OP here. I don't care about cost. It is about the mess and would like to keep organized chaos to a minimum. If it was a venue party, I would be more lenient about siblings because we could just pay $20-30 per extra kid. I care more about keeping headcount small because it is at our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

I am seeing why your friend is enforcing boundaries. You are a pain in the neck to interact with.

PP should just drop off her 9yo daughter like a normal parent. She already asked host if she can bring 8yo younger daughter and host said no. If host wanted you there badly enough, she would have invited younger DD too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

OP here. I don't care about cost. It is about the mess and would like to keep organized chaos to a minimum. If it was a venue party, I would be more lenient about siblings because we could just pay $20-30 per extra kid. I care more about keeping headcount small because it is at our house.

This thread has already carried on too long because of the idiot woman who wants her younger to attend a party she isn't invited. She has a level of entitlement that is beyond anything I have seen in a while on these boards.

Anyway, OP, just put "No siblings, please" and move on. It's what you mean, it's what you want and that message is clear: NO siblings, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having a party for my 8yo son. Plan to invite 10 boys. We are having a gem mining party with stations. Everyone on our guest list has siblings. Several have attended our parties in the past and I have been lax with siblings. Some of the kids have 3 siblings. I want to be clear no siblings are welcome and parents are welcome to drop off. Party will be at our house but I don't want complete chaos with the activity. I don't really mind if parents bring siblings at pick up and siblings have cake and food. I don't want to write that anywhere though.

Does this sound ok?

Sorry, no siblings please. Parents are welcome to drop off.

Getting back to OPs question -- i think you should allude to the additional cost, people wont assume for a house party that there is a limit unless you say it.

Please drop off at 1:00. Kids will be doing a gem mining activity lead by XX company. Unfortunately we cant accomodate siblings. Pick up at 3:00.

OP here. I don't care about cost. It is about the mess and would like to keep organized chaos to a minimum. If it was a venue party, I would be more lenient about siblings because we could just pay $20-30 per extra kid. I care more about keeping headcount small because it is at our house.

This thread has already carried on too long because of the idiot woman who wants her younger child to attend a party she isn't invited to. She has a level of entitlement that is beyond anything I have seen in a while on these boards.

Anyway, OP, just put "No siblings, please" and move on. It's what you mean, it's what you want and that message is clear: NO siblings, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are family friends. This is a pin the tail on the donkey party with neighbors. The younger child has spent countless hours over there and we are all friends. They do not go to school together. It's only moms because the hostess is a single mom. Otherwise dads would probably come, but the vibe over there is not that dad friendly. It's not laser tag. It's someone's house she is normally invited to and now she's being left out. My husband, who is very very low drama, is more annoyed than I am about this.

None of this matters.

She is not invited and that is the family's prerogative.

You are being rude in trying to tell them how to do their (*their*) social event.

Yeah, I guess. I thought we were closer friends than I think we are. I had just finished helping her get into a therapist I know for her daughter and we had been dealing with some fairly personal issues. It felt natural to just say both girls are free (she had called to ask about the date-like we are close enough that she wouldn't hold the party when we weren't available) and if you would invite them both, i would hang out during and bring some adult drinks. Oh well. I suppose I am the rude one. I will be with my younger child now instead of us all going. We all used to hang out there a lot until we moved one neighborhood away. I can't imagine paying a sitter or asking my husband to reschedule plans so we will play by the rules and just drop off the older one.

I am a mom of 2 kids close in age with most of our friends who also have 2 kids 1-2 years apart here. You may be missing a dynamic that you are too blind to see because you think your daughter is an angel. Almost every sibling set we know fight.

I have 2 kids. Sure, it is a pain sometimes that younger child whines when he is not invited. I host tons of play dates. I only host 1 kid at a time, even if the sibling is my younger child's exact same age. In my experience, when I have one child over, there is peace and kids get along. When second or third friend get added, it also tends to be ok although I still prefer just hosting 1 child at a time. When I have twins or siblings dropped off, there is always some drama.

Host gets to dictate who they want to invite. PP mom pushing younger daughter seems really weird and a pain in the ass.

[Anonymous]

OP, just decline if you don't want to go. I think that's fine.

Here is my own odd no siblings story. My kids went to a Montessori school and they are 1 year apart, so they were basically in the same classroom, playing with the same kids, etc. for about two years. For some reason, they were always invited to parties separately with one being invited and one not. I couldn't figure out the pattern. It wasn't sex or age because my older DD was invited to parties for boys that were the same age as my son. And vice versa. I just chalked it up to parents asking their kids who they wanted to come and either kid being left off the list. The big thing is that we didn't attend these parties because I didn't want to introduce a dynamic -- why doesn't Larla like me or Larlo like me, etc. I just declined and kept it moving because in the big scheme of things it's a huge nothingburger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just decline if you don't want to go. I think that's fine.

Here is my own odd no siblings story. My kids went to a Montessori school and they are 1 year apart, so they were basically in the same classroom, playing with the same kids, etc. for about two years. For some reason, they were always invited to parties separately with one being invited and one not. I couldn't figure out the pattern. It wasn't sex or age because my older DD was invited to parties for boys that were the same age as my son. And vice versa. I just chalked it up to parents asking their kids who they wanted to come and either kid being left off the list. The big thing is that we didn't attend these parties because I didn't want to introduce a dynamic -- why doesn't Larla like me or Larlo like me, etc. I just declined and kept it moving because in the big scheme of things it's a huge nothingburger.

Montessori classes tend to be larger. I'm sure birthday child just picked the friends s/he wanted. Don't think there is anything strange about it.

I declined some preschool birthday parties when it just wasn't worth the tears of younger child of not being able to attend, especially if it was a child we had no relationship with. We don't have that problem now that kids are in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, just decline if you don't want to go. I think that's fine.

Here is my own odd no siblings story. My kids went to a Montessori school and they are 1 year apart, so they were basically in the same classroom, playing with the same kids, etc. for about two years. For some reason, they were always invited to parties separately with one being invited and one not. I couldn't figure out the pattern. It wasn't sex or age because my older DD was invited to parties for boys that were the same age as my son. And vice versa. I just chalked it up to parents asking their kids who they wanted to come and either kid being left off the list. The big thing is that we didn't attend these parties because I didn't want to introduce a dynamic -- why doesn't Larla like me or Larlo like me, etc. I just declined and kept it moving because in the big scheme of things it's a huge nothingburger.

Montessori classes tend to be larger. I'm sure birthday child just picked the friends s/he wanted. Don't think there is anything strange about it.

I declined some preschool birthday parties when it just wasn't worth the tears of younger child of not being able to attend, especially if it was a child we had no relationship with. We don't have that problem now that kids are in elementary school.

Yeah, with 25 kids in the classroom, it's likely the other kid wasn't included because the bday kid picked the friends they wanted. I just couldn't figure out the pattern because in my own head I figured, well, it's age. No. Then it's sex. No. Then it's the kid who ends up sitting at the table for lunch the day the kid's mom asks who they'd like to invite to a party? Likely.

My kids are older now too and have their own friends, but I thought it was funny during the preschool years. People make way, way too much of invites. If you don't feel comfortable going, just decline. It's not the end of the world.

[Anonymous]

Yes, totally fine. Heck, I don't know what is wrong with people who bring siblings along. Unless you insist that parent stays to supervise a very young kid(which you are probably not) and person is a single parent or other parent is traveling and they have a small other child. In any other case, not only should siblings not come along, parents should drop off and leave as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's weekend doesn't revolve around 9 year old birthday parties. He is not going out for a beer. He has a commitment. Should I insist he start planning his weekend around this stuff and tell the musicians he plays with sorry, some 9 year old is having a party so my wife says I need to stay home? He works from home all week and spends a ton of time with the kids. Don't worry-i know you're concerned he's getting away with murder here.

I am seeing why your friend is enforcing boundaries. You are a pain in the neck to interact with.

Apparently. We haven't interacted much lately except when she has asked for a favor. I actually have very little free time bc I work full time and don't see her much and I don't have time to chat during the week. If anything, I have too many boundaries with most people. As one poster said, I suppose she really didnt want me or the other child to come and I can take a hint. Oh well. Older one will go and I will cool the jets on pursuing the friendship too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 8 there shouldn't be any parents milling around.
Maybe your mom to help or one close parent friend.

Just write. Drop off at 10am, pick up at 2pm.
Lunch and cake.

No siblings.

OP here. We are friendly with several of the families. Half are classmates. Half are people we hang out as families and/or do play dates regularly including our other children. I just don't want the siblings around for the activity. I don't mind if they come at 5 to hang out and eat. I don't want to make the invitation too confusing though.

Party time will be 2:30-4:30 or 3-5. I was leaning towards 3-5 and serving food at 4:30.

Too close to dinner.