If your marriage didn't work out, do you have any regrets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Dipshit, probably because he loves his kids.

If he truly loves the kids he wants both parents to be as involved as possible with them.

PP here - she was a proven physical risk to herself and I feared for the children. What would you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband here - I have plenty of regrets but despite the odds against men I got full custody of my children. While my life is chaotic I'm happy and so are my kids. Their mother moved away to 'start a new life' which was a smart move on her part. After a year as a single parent my anger has subsided and I have no regrets being a dad. I'm way too exhausted to think about dating but I know that all of us would enjoy a female presence.

Sound like you were put through the ringer and I hope a great woman does come into your lives.

PP here - I was put through a ringer but from the beginning I was focused on one thing - getting sole custody of my children. I didn't fight her over every nickel and dime or who got what possession. It didn't matter to me and my earning power is very good and I knew I could recover. And it was extremely helpful to have parents who helped keep me focused...and calm. By being 100% focused on why I should have custody I was able to make my case without my head getting screwed up with all of the other crap. The calmness really helped me with my three small children as they never saw any outbursts and I never let me ex or her attorney get under my skin. And I do hope a great woman comes into our lives but three young kids is not date bait!

I would date you. No kids here (XH had health issues and then I was too old). I would love to be a stepmom if the relations between the parents is respectful. I also have a great stepmom so I have a template for how to be good at it.

PP here - thanks but for the time being, being a dad is all I have time for. I'm becoming an expert on Thomas, Paw Patrol and Curious George.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP here - she had substance abuse issues and was a proven danger to herself and I feared for the children.

I had the same issues but since she hadn't been caught (yet) DUI she got custody.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biggest regret by far is that my kids aren't going to be able to grow up with an intact nuclear family, and that I now only get to see them half as often as before.

In my case, we probably married too young (right out of college). We had a very low-conflict marriage. After having kids, I can see now that he felt like I put the kids above him (and I probably did). Sex became less frequent as sleep became more precious. Instead of talking to me about it, he let it fester. I thought his silence meant that he was in the same place I was.

Eventually, I found out he was having (at least) an emotional affair with his secretary. Probably more, I'm not stupid.

We started therapy immediately, but he was already checked out. Wouldn't do the work, wouldn't read anything, etc.

So my big regret is that I think we could have made it work, which would have been ideal for the kids. But I've learned a lot and I know that there is happiness in store for me in the future. Our divorce has been relatively conflict free, so that's working in the kids' favor.

This is sad but he was a jerk. Selfish.

Not fair. He didn't have the skills to clearly communicate his feelings and she didn't have the skills to pick up on his unhappiness. And without communication skills, marriage wither and die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband here - I have plenty of regrets but despite the odds against men I got full custody of my children. While my life is chaotic I'm happy and so are my kids. Their mother moved away to 'start a new life' which was a smart move on her part. After a year as a single parent my anger has subsided and I have no regrets being a dad. I'm way too exhausted to think about dating but I know that all of us would enjoy a female presence.

Sound like you were put through the ringer and I hope a great woman does come into your lives.

PP here - I was put through a ringer but from the beginning I was focused on one thing - getting sole custody of my children. I didn't fight her over every nickel and dime or who got what possession. It didn't matter to me and my earning power is very good and I knew I could recover. And it was extremely helpful to have parents who helped keep me focused...and calm. By being 100% focused on why I should have custody I was able to make my case without my head getting screwed up with all of the other crap. The calmness really helped me with my three small children as they never saw any outbursts and I never let me ex or her attorney get under my skin. And I do hope a great woman comes into our lives but three young kids is not date bait!

I would date you. No kids here (XH had health issues and then I was too old). I would love to be a stepmom if the relations between the parents is respectful. I also have a great stepmom so I have a template for how to be good at it.

PP here - thanks but for the time being, being a dad is all I have time for. I'm becoming an expert on Thomas, Paw Patrol and Curious George.

You will do fine when you're ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret not losing 20 pounds.

20 lbs should not be a marriage-breaker.

It is, women should be thin

Go to bed so you can get up for school. Don't forget to brush your teeth.,

[Anonymous]

Yes. I regret marrying a selfish passive aggressive person who was raised by selfish passive aggressive parents. My defense was youth, optimism and a lack of understanding about such traits. Wish the internet had existed back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband here - I have plenty of regrets but despite the odds against men I got full custody of my children. While my life is chaotic I'm happy and so are my kids. Their mother moved away to 'start a new life' which was a smart move on her part. After a year as a single parent my anger has subsided and I have no regrets being a dad. I'm way too exhausted to think about dating but I know that all of us would enjoy a female presence.

Sound like you were put through the ringer and I hope a great woman does come into your lives.

PP here - I was put through a ringer but from the beginning I was focused on one thing - getting sole custody of my children. I didn't fight her over every nickel and dime or who got what possession. It didn't matter to me and my earning power is very good and I knew I could recover. And it was extremely helpful to have parents who helped keep me focused...and calm. By being 100% focused on why I should have custody I was able to make my case without my head getting screwed up with all of the other crap. The calmness really helped me with my three small children as they never saw any outbursts and I never let me ex or her attorney get under my skin. And I do hope a great woman comes into our lives but three young kids is not date bait!

I would date you. No kids here (XH had health issues and then I was too old). I would love to be a stepmom if the relations between the parents is respectful. I also have a great stepmom so I have a template for how to be good at it.

PP here - thanks but for the time being, being a dad is all I have time for. I'm becoming an expert on Thomas, Paw Patrol and Curious George.

Wait, I thought all men have some biological need to have sex every week.?? How do you cope?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biggest regret by far is that my kids aren't going to be able to grow up with an intact nuclear family, and that I now only get to see them half as often as before.

In my case, we probably married too young (right out of college). We had a very low-conflict marriage. After having kids, I can see now that he felt like I put the kids above him (and I probably did). Sex became less frequent as sleep became more precious. Instead of talking to me about it, he let it fester. I thought his silence meant that he was in the same place I was.

Eventually, I found out he was having (at least) an emotional affair with his secretary. Probably more, I'm not stupid.

We started therapy immediately, but he was already checked out. Wouldn't do the work, wouldn't read anything, etc.

So my big regret is that I think we could have made it work, which would have been ideal for the kids. But I've learned a lot and I know that there is happiness in store for me in the future. Our divorce has been relatively conflict free, so that's working in the kids' favor.

This is sad but he was a jerk. Selfish.

Funny because I was thinking SHE was selfish, putting him at bottom of the list, sleep more important than sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Biggest regret by far is that my kids aren't going to be able to grow up with an intact nuclear family, and that I now only get to see them half as often as before.

In my case, we probably married too young (right out of college). We had a very low-conflict marriage. After having kids, I can see now that he felt like I put the kids above him (and I probably did). Sex became less frequent as sleep became more precious. Instead of talking to me about it, he let it fester. I thought his silence meant that he was in the same place I was.

Eventually, I found out he was having (at least) an emotional affair with his secretary. Probably more, I'm not stupid.

We started therapy immediately, but he was already checked out. Wouldn't do the work, wouldn't read anything, etc.

So my big regret is that I think we could have made it work, which would have been ideal for the kids. But I've learned a lot and I know that there is happiness in store for me in the future. Our divorce has been relatively conflict free, so that's working in the kids' favor.

This is sad but he was a jerk. Selfish.

Funny because I was thinking SHE was selfish, putting him at bottom of the list, sleep more important than sex.

So you think sleep is not more important than sex. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband here - I have plenty of regrets but despite the odds against men I got full custody of my children. While my life is chaotic I'm happy and so are my kids. Their mother moved away to 'start a new life' which was a smart move on her part. After a year as a single parent my anger has subsided and I have no regrets being a dad. I'm way too exhausted to think about dating but I know that all of us would enjoy a female presence.

Sound like you were put through the ringer and I hope a great woman does come into your lives.

PP here - I was put through a ringer but from the beginning I was focused on one thing - getting sole custody of my children. I didn't fight her over every nickel and dime or who got what possession. It didn't matter to me and my earning power is very good and I knew I could recover. And it was extremely helpful to have parents who helped keep me focused...and calm. By being 100% focused on why I should have custody I was able to make my case without my head getting screwed up with all of the other crap. The calmness really helped me with my three small children as they never saw any outbursts and I never let me ex or her attorney get under my skin. And I do hope a great woman comes into our lives but three young kids is not date bait!

I would date you. No kids here (XH had health issues and then I was too old). I would love to be a stepmom if the relations between the parents is respectful. I also have a great stepmom so I have a template for how to be good at it.

PP here - thanks but for the time being, being a dad is all I have time for. I'm becoming an expert on Thomas, Paw Patrol and Curious George.

Wait, I thought all men have some biological need to have sex every week.?? How do you cope?

Not PP but as a man I can answer this.
Correction: it's twice per week.

He copes by masturbating and pursuing the occasional ONS.
This is what men do when we aren't in a relationship. Not much different than women actually.
When he finds the right girl, he makes love to her twice per week instead of the ONS and masturbating.
Again same as women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ex husband here - I have plenty of regrets but despite the odds against men I got full custody of my children. While my life is chaotic I'm happy and so are my kids. Their mother moved away to 'start a new life' which was a smart move on her part. After a year as a single parent my anger has subsided and I have no regrets being a dad. I'm way too exhausted to think about dating but I know that all of us would enjoy a female presence.

Sound like you were put through the ringer and I hope a great woman does come into your lives.

PP here - I was put through a ringer but from the beginning I was focused on one thing - getting sole custody of my children. I didn't fight her over every nickel and dime or who got what possession. It didn't matter to me and my earning power is very good and I knew I could recover. And it was extremely helpful to have parents who helped keep me focused...and calm. By being 100% focused on why I should have custody I was able to make my case without my head getting screwed up with all of the other crap. The calmness really helped me with my three small children as they never saw any outbursts and I never let me ex or her attorney get under my skin. And I do hope a great woman comes into our lives but three young kids is not date bait!

I would date you. No kids here (XH had health issues and then I was too old). I would love to be a stepmom if the relations between the parents is respectful. I also have a great stepmom so I have a template for how to be good at it.

PP here - thanks but for the time being, being a dad is all I have time for. I'm becoming an expert on Thomas, Paw Patrol and Curious George.

Wait, I thought all men have some biological need to have sex every week.?? How do you cope?

I can't disagree, but I'm so fried after being up at 5:30 then getting the kids up and fed, being at work from 8-6, getting home playing with them, putting them to bed and then getting organized for the next day that sex is not high on my list of priorities. The only break I have is at work....like right now! If I could have a once a week lunchtime FWB I'd seriously consider it but something like that could easily have complications and that's the last thing I need. My life is crazy right now but we're happy.

[Anonymous]

I'd also like a lunchtime FWB once per week! It would make life so much easier.

[Anonymous]

mmmmm nooners

Biggest downside is going straight back to work. It can be a little... disorienting...