If your marriage didn't work out, do you have any regrets?

[Anonymous]

My biggest regret is wasting my prime years with DW who thought twice a month vanilla sex was normal. Now that she is gone I'm 56 and sticking it anywhere I can.

[Anonymous]

Biggest regret by far is that my kids aren't going to be able to grow up with an intact nuclear family, and that I now only get to see them half as often as before.

In my case, we probably married too young (right out of college). We had a very low-conflict marriage. After having kids, I can see now that he felt like I put the kids above him (and I probably did). Sex became less frequent as sleep became more precious. Instead of talking to me about it, he let it fester. I thought his silence meant that he was in the same place I was.

Eventually, I found out he was having (at least) an emotional affair with his secretary. Probably more, I'm not stupid.

We started therapy immediately, but he was already checked out. Wouldn't do the work, wouldn't read anything, etc.

So my big regret is that I think we could have made it work, which would have been ideal for the kids. But I've learned a lot and I know that there is happiness in store for me in the future. Our divorce has been relatively conflict free, so that's working in the kids' favor.

[Anonymous]

I regret not leaving sooner. That's really my only regret.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Biggest regret by far is that my kids aren't going to be able to grow up with an intact nuclear family, and that I now only get to see them half as often as before.

In my case, we probably married too young (right out of college). We had a very low-conflict marriage. After having kids, I can see now that he felt like I put the kids above him (and I probably did). Sex became less frequent as sleep became more precious. Instead of talking to me about it, he let it fester. I thought his silence meant that he was in the same place I was.

Eventually, I found out he was having (at least) an emotional affair with his secretary. Probably more, I'm not stupid.

We started therapy immediately, but he was already checked out. Wouldn't do the work, wouldn't read anything, etc.

So my big regret is that I think we could have made it work, which would have been ideal for the kids. But I've learned a lot and I know that there is happiness in store for me in the future. Our divorce has been relatively conflict free, so that's working in the kids' favor.

This is sad but he was a jerk. Selfish.

[Anonymous]

None.

But I miss his family, especially at the holidays. It's gotten moreso as the years have gone by, too.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I lost out financially but that's okay. I'm much happier overall and engaged to a great guy who makes me realie how much was missing from my other relationship. Not just the marriage, but the relationship overall. I settled and shouldn't have married XH in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret not putting more of a priority on the marriage itself. It was bottom of the totem pole after a full time job, kids, pets, household chores, etc. It didn't help that my ex didn't do anything around the house so it all fell to me. He's now a perfect partner to someone else (cooks, cleans, attentive, etc- all the things he wasn't in the marriage).

My guess is that his new wife is a lot of the things you weren't when you were married to him. Just saying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret not putting more of a priority on the marriage itself. It was bottom of the totem pole after a full time job, kids, pets, household chores, etc. It didn't help that my ex didn't do anything around the house so it all fell to me. He's now a perfect partner to someone else (cooks, cleans, attentive, etc- all the things he wasn't in the marriage).

My guess is that his new wife is a lot of the things you weren't when you were married to him. Just saying.

Maybe but that's not really relevant to an adult partner's shirking of household duties. You do those things because they are your responsibility. Not as a reward to a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret not putting more of a priority on the marriage itself. It was bottom of the totem pole after a full time job, kids, pets, household chores, etc. It didn't help that my ex didn't do anything around the house so it all fell to me. He's now a perfect partner to someone else (cooks, cleans, attentive, etc- all the things he wasn't in the marriage).

He either learned from your marriage to him, or he loves her more, or she gives him more sex.

This is such a nasty thing to say. Why are you trying to hurt a stranger? GTH

Hurting people hurt people. The person who wrote it is clearly hurting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I regret not putting more of a priority on the marriage itself. It was bottom of the totem pole after a full time job, kids, pets, household chores, etc. It didn't help that my ex didn't do anything around the house so it all fell to me. He's now a perfect partner to someone else (cooks, cleans, attentive, etc- all the things he wasn't in the marriage).

My guess is that his new wife is a lot of the things you weren't when you were married to him. Just saying.

Maybe but that's not really relevant to an adult partner's shirking of household duties. You do those things because they are your responsibility. Not as a reward to a woman.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

My motto is No Regrets. I left because I wasn't happy. I didn't ask if he was. Life is short. Never look back, only forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret not losing 20 pounds.

20 lbs should not be a marriage-breaker.

[Anonymous]

No, I had a great pre-up and no children. Two years in she had an affair with a guy at work. Her excuse was I travel too much for work and she got bored. I had no desire for marriage counseling or any other psycho babble given her reason why. My only regret was marrying her but I'm very happy one of my brothers suggested a prenup. The divorce was quick and painless, at least for me. Her lifestyle took a big hit and her work friend dumped her.

I would like to remarry someday but I hope I make a better choice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I had a great pre-up and no children. Two years in she had an affair with a guy at work. Her excuse was I travel too much for work and she got bored. I had no desire for marriage counseling or any other psycho babble given her reason why. My only regret was marrying her but I'm very happy one of my brothers suggested a prenup. The divorce was quick and painless, at least for me. Her lifestyle took a big hit and her work friend dumped her.

I would like to remarry someday but I hope I make a better choice!

Look for someone who lives more a life of the mind.

[Anonymous]

Regret not doing more to get my own head straight. It could have worked out. I needed to take more responsibility for my own role in why things were difficult.