How much unresponsiveness to email do you tolerate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CC'ing the principal after only 24 hours is kind of intense

And makes you look like a whack job. It might be wrong- but we laugh about parents like you.

Honestly, I don't care if you laugh at me; it just reflects your lack of professionalism. I can assure you that supervisors above you take note of your lack of response and snickering and it is a detriment to your career progress and opportunities.

Not the PPP, but my supervisor laughs at whack job parents too. EVERYONE laughs at the handful of super intense helicopter moms, and none of us take those moms seriously. The whack job moms have put themselves into a terrible position because admin will never take them seriously now.

Can you elaborate on the 'terrible position' we put ourselves in?

NP but it's a boy who cries wolf scenario. Using all your chits on minor grievances or issues means you will be less likely to be taken seriously if/when something more egregious happens.

+100
CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.

IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CC'ing the principal after only 24 hours is kind of intense

And makes you look like a whack job. It might be wrong- but we laugh about parents like you.

Honestly, I don't care if you laugh at me; it just reflects your lack of professionalism. I can assure you that supervisors above you take note of your lack of response and snickering and it is a detriment to your career progress and opportunities.

Not the PPP, but my supervisor laughs at whack job parents too. EVERYONE laughs at the handful of super intense helicopter moms, and none of us take those moms seriously. The whack job moms have put themselves into a terrible position because admin will never take them seriously now.

I don't care if you "take me seriously." I do care if you follow the law. If you are doing something wrong, I will attempt to get in touch with you and ask you what is happening and why. If you can't be professional and get back to me in a day or so, I am going to your boss. If you and your boss remain unresponsive or imappropriately responsive, I will reach up further. As a special needs parent, I am sick of the bullying that my child and I are expected to tolerate. I don't care if you think I'm a pain or if you snicker or laugh at me. The law obligates you to do certain things and if you can't or won't, I will complain until I get what my child needs and is owed under the law. The law isn't only for nice, polite good girl women who ask for things politely and butter you up and beg and wait and plead.

The sexism inherent in the PITA mom stereotype bugs the crap out of me, especially because the staffers who wield that sexism as a weapon are teachers and admin who are typically women. PITA mom is just a school-based version of being called a bitch or bossy.

Way to combat sexism- with sexism. You don't like the assumption that all helicopters are moms-but are fine portraying the school teachers & admin as women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CC'ing the principal after only 24 hours is kind of intense

And makes you look like a whack job. It might be wrong- but we laugh about parents like you.

Honestly, I don't care if you laugh at me; it just reflects your lack of professionalism. I can assure you that supervisors above you take note of your lack of response and snickering and it is a detriment to your career progress and opportunities.

Not the PPP, but my supervisor laughs at whack job parents too. EVERYONE laughs at the handful of super intense helicopter moms, and none of us take those moms seriously. The whack job moms have put themselves into a terrible position because admin will never take them seriously now.

Can you elaborate on the 'terrible position' we put ourselves in?

NP but it's a boy who cries wolf scenario. Using all your chits on minor grievances or issues means you will be less likely to be taken seriously if/when something more egregious happens.

+100
CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.

IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.

What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:CC'ing the principal after only 24 hours is kind of intense

And makes you look like a whack job. It might be wrong- but we laugh about parents like you.

Honestly, I don't care if you laugh at me; it just reflects your lack of professionalism. I can assure you that supervisors above you take note of your lack of response and snickering and it is a detriment to your career progress and opportunities.

Not the PPP, but my supervisor laughs at whack job parents too. EVERYONE laughs at the handful of super intense helicopter moms, and none of us take those moms seriously. The whack job moms have put themselves into a terrible position because admin will never take them seriously now.

I don't care if you "take me seriously." I do care if you follow the law. If you are doing something wrong, I will attempt to get in touch with you and ask you what is happening and why. If you can't be professional and get back to me in a day or so, I am going to your boss. If you and your boss remain unresponsive or imappropriately responsive, I will reach up further. As a special needs parent, I am sick of the bullying that my child and I are expected to tolerate. I don't care if you think I'm a pain or if you snicker or laugh at me. The law obligates you to do certain things and if you can't or won't, I will complain until I get what my child needs and is owed under the law. The law isn't only for nice, polite good girl women who ask for things politely and butter you up and beg and wait and plead.

The sexism inherent in the PITA mom stereotype bugs the crap out of me, especially because the staffers who wield that sexism as a weapon are teachers and admin who are typically women. PITA mom is just a school-based version of being called a bitch or bossy.

You really sound unhinged. Really, you need to see a therapist. I feel terrible for your kids.

[Anonymous]

CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.


IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.


What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

Not in the context given, especially the 'terrible position' someone claims we are in for expecting a response in 24 hours. When the little things aren't attended to, bigger issues emerge.

[Anonymous]

We've veered far off topic.

The OP was not emailing the teacher or administrators about real or suspected IEP violations or "infractions" -- yes, those things should be documented and email works well.

She said was emailing to ask questions about the curriculum and/or service providers (people who the teachers don't manage or direct), and for logistical stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.


IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.


What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

Not in the context given, especially the 'terrible position' someone claims we are in for expecting a response in 24 hours. When the little things aren't attended to, bigger issues emerge.

You aren't in a terrible position for wanting a 24 hour response time, but calling the the Calvary for something that minor does you no favors. Don't let everything slide, don't let important things slide, but the 24 hour rule, especially for the matters the Op described, is not reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.


IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.


What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

Not in the context given, especially the 'terrible position' someone claims we are in for expecting a response in 24 hours. When the little things aren't attended to, bigger issues emerge.

You aren't in a terrible position for wanting a 24 hour response time, but calling the the Calvary for something that minor does you no favors. Don't let everything slide, don't let important things slide, but the 24 hour rule, especially for the matters the Op described, is not reasonable.

You don't consider "therapy services or curriculum" important things? OP has waited far longer than 24 hrs/1 business day for a response of some kind and received nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.


IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.


What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

Not in the context given, especially the 'terrible position' someone claims we are in for expecting a response in 24 hours. When the little things aren't attended to, bigger issues emerge.

You aren't in a terrible position for wanting a 24 hour response time, but calling the the Calvary for something that minor does you no favors. Don't let everything slide, don't let important things slide, but the 24 hour rule, especially for the matters the Op described, is not reasonable.

You don't consider "therapy services or curriculum" important things? OP has waited far longer than 24 hrs/1 business day for a response of some kind and received nothing.

And at this point elevating it would be fine, but it wouldn't have been fine to CC everyone 24 hours in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

CCing the principal after 24 hours is nuts, and getting a response at that point is winning the battle but losing the war. It' not a smart strategy.


IME, it is exactly the opposite. Not policing the minor infractions means that teachers and staff are more likely to push boundaries because they think you don't, can't or won't care.

Last year I had a number of, frankly, ugly interactions with staff at school. I had to write letters to get the IEP enforced, to get a teacher to stop belittling my child when DC asked for accommodations. I ended up calling a big meeting with the principal and assorted staff, and I made it clear that they were out of compliance with the IEP. Over the summer the IEP coordinator left and was replaced by a new one. As a result, I have never had an easier, more correct IEP year. Speaking up and refusing to be pushed around and using the law to support our position was key.


What you are describing is a hell of a lot differing than a 24 hour email turn around time.

Not in the context given, especially the 'terrible position' someone claims we are in for expecting a response in 24 hours. When the little things aren't attended to, bigger issues emerge.

You aren't in a terrible position for wanting a 24 hour response time, but calling the the Calvary for something that minor does you no favors. Don't let everything slide, don't let important things slide, but the 24 hour rule, especially for the matters the Op described, is not reasonable.

You don't consider "therapy services or curriculum" important things? OP has waited far longer than 24 hrs/1 business day for a response of some kind and received nothing.

And at this point elevating it would be fine, but it wouldn't have been fine to CC everyone 24 hours in.

General questions about 'curriculum' should be discussed during a parent teacher conference or go to the principal or department head. They aren't time sensitive - which is what email is for.

Questions about therapy services should go to the relevant therapist (OT, Psych, SLP) with a cc to the special education coordinator. Not the classroom teacher.

The teacher isn't the right person for this - that's why she didn't answer OP. Yes, she should have/ could have said 'I"m not the right person to answer that question - pls contact so and so." But she is burning through any good will by pestering the teacher about things that aren't hers to answer.

[Anonymous]

I love the teachers taking umbrage about the fact that parents expect them to act professionally. I hope you're not the same ones who complain about not being paid enough and not being treated like professionals. I can't tell you how lame it is to not bother to respond to an email. Or that you brag about making fun of PITA parents. Grow up and behave like a professional and maybe you'll be treated with respect in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the teachers taking umbrage about the fact that parents expect them to act professionally. I hope you're not the same ones who complain about not being paid enough and not being treated like professionals. I can't tell you how lame it is to not bother to respond to an email. Or that you brag about making fun of PITA parents. Grow up and behave like a professional and maybe you'll be treated with respect in return.

Other posters have explained to you why the questions the OP was asking the teacher were not appropriate, and also why it was not appropriate of her to escalate things 24 hours in. Yet you still feel the teacher was unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love the teachers taking umbrage about the fact that parents expect them to act professionally. I hope you're not the same ones who complain about not being paid enough and not being treated like professionals. I can't tell you how lame it is to not bother to respond to an email. Or that you brag about making fun of PITA parents. Grow up and behave like a professional and maybe you'll be treated with respect in return.

I think it's surprising that you use a word associated with disability as a slur on this board. Do you also use the "R" word?

24 hour email response is a great ideal. But teaching is a profession that has a lot of variety in it. There are days when I simply don't get 10 minutes to sit down an answer an email that asks for more than a sentence or two. I have a 40 minute lunch every day (although twice a week, I've supervising club meeting then, and on other days, I often have kids in the room for homework help or other purposes) and an 80 minute planning period every other day, that often gets eaten up by the need to meet with an administrator about ensuring an event is accessible and universally designed, or a phone call with a parent, or helping a child who is in crisis, etc . . . Add in an IEP meeting that runs late, an after school staff meeting, or an event I'm attending so that one of my kids can be successful, and sometimes at the time I need to leave to take my own SN child to therapy, I simply haven't had a chance to reply to that email you sent yesterday 10 minutes after my planning period finished.

So, I do what teachers do. I add it to the list with the planning and the grading that I've already scheduled for tonight after dinner's over and I'm doing helping with HW, which, of course, isn't good enough for you, because it puts us outside the 24 hour window.

In addition, if you are a parent who routinely escalates things up the chain of command, my supervisor pretty quickly concludes that you are "establishing a paper trail". Suddenly, I'm being asked to run every email anyone sends to you past her. This is true whether your complaints involved me or another teacher. Getting approval for those emails usually involves physically tracking her down.

[Anonymous]

I think it's surprising that you use a word associated with disability as a slur on this board. Do you also use the "R" word?

Really? Are you also offended by "lame duck"? What about when a horse pulls up "lame?" How do you feel about lame excuses? Have you ever been 'crippled' by anxiety, had crippling depression?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love the teachers taking umbrage about the fact that parents expect them to act professionally. I hope you're not the same ones who complain about not being paid enough and not being treated like professionals. I can't tell you how lame it is to not bother to respond to an email. Or that you brag about making fun of PITA parents. Grow up and behave like a professional and maybe you'll be treated with respect in return.

I think it's surprising that you use a word associated with disability as a slur on this board. Do you also use the "R" word?

24 hour email response is a great ideal. But teaching is a profession that has a lot of variety in it. There are days when I simply don't get 10 minutes to sit down an answer an email that asks for more than a sentence or two. I have a 40 minute lunch every day (although twice a week, I've supervising club meeting then, and on other days, I often have kids in the room for homework help or other purposes) and an 80 minute planning period every other day, that often gets eaten up by the need to meet with an administrator about ensuring an event is accessible and universally designed, or a phone call with a parent, or helping a child who is in crisis, etc . . . Add in an IEP meeting that runs late, an after school staff meeting, or an event I'm attending so that one of my kids can be successful, and sometimes at the time I need to leave to take my own SN child to therapy, I simply haven't had a chance to reply to that email you sent yesterday 10 minutes after my planning period finished.

So, I do what teachers do. I add it to the list with the planning and the grading that I've already scheduled for tonight after dinner's over and I'm doing helping with HW, which, of course, isn't good enough for you, because it puts us outside the 24 hour window.

In addition, if you are a parent who routinely escalates things up the chain of command, my supervisor pretty quickly concludes that you are "establishing a paper trail". Suddenly, I'm being asked to run every email anyone sends to you past her. This is true whether your complaints involved me or another teacher. Getting approval for those emails usually involves physically tracking her down.

+1 I was thinking this too. Our principal instructed teachers not to send any emails, reply or otherwise, to any of a handful of crazed parents at our school, without clearing them with him first. It is a pain to track him down and explain the background of whatever drama has prompted one of these parents to email, and so it takes longer for them to get replies.

So, OP, perhaps the admin at your kid's school has flagged you as one of these types, and the teacher is actually not ALLOWED to reply without clearing it with her supervisor.