Why did you have kids?

[Anonymous]

I got pregnant. Was engaged. Decided to keep the baby and start a family. Married now and expecting our second.

[Anonymous]

Why did I always want kids?
-babies are amazing and I want to snuggle them
-three year olds say the most hilarious things
-five year olds with loose teeth are flipping so cute
-eight year olds learning so much about the world and then contributing their unique perspective

I genuinely love children and babies. I thought if I never got married I would get a sperm donor or adopt. Then I married DH and the biological urge was super strong.

[Anonymous]

I love my free time, being able to do what I want, when I want. I love kids, just don't want my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did I always want kids?
-babies are amazing and I want to snuggle them
-three year olds say the most hilarious things
-five year olds with loose teeth are flipping so cute
-eight year olds learning so much about the world and then contributing their unique perspective

I genuinely love children and babies. I thought if I never got married I would get a sperm donor or adopt. Then I married DH and the biological urge was super strong.

Ditto.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was dating a women who was much smarter than I, and felt the urge to procreate, I think, because, subconsciously, I saw it as a way to have smarter offspring. And her biological clock was ticking. Bingo! So we did it to it until number one came, and did it to it again until number two came. Then we started using birth control. The whole thing was pretty primal and unplanned.

What is this antiquated chestnut being trotted out? Do you bet your sweet bippy, too?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love my free time, being able to do what I want, when I want. I love kids, just don't want my own.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't think I would but by 33 the biological urge kicked in and was very tough to fight (akin to abstaining from sex.). Having a kiddo is much harder than I thought, very humbling, and shows me what a selfish asshole I was before - like looking in a mirror for the first time. It makes me want to be a better person. Could just be the sleep deprivation talking though.

Pretty much this, except for me the biological urge kicked in later in life and I had to go through fertility treatments and pay through the nose for them. But, at this point, I can't imagine not having DC in my life.

[Anonymous]

It really aggravated me when people say they want child to "make the world a better place." How arrogant.

It's so refreshing to see so many responses admitting that it's simply an experience they didnt want to miss out on. Nothing wrong with that, it's a biologically driven instinct! That's why I did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really aggravated me when people say they want child to "make the world a better place." How arrogant.

It's so refreshing to see so many responses admitting that it's simply an experience they didnt want to miss out on. Nothing wrong with that, it's a biologically driven instinct! That's why I did it.

I'm the poster who said that. I'm a really nice gal, devoted mom. I don't think my kids are going to make the world a worse place?

[Anonymous]

My husband wanted a child. I wanted my husband. So we had a kid.

I love my child, but I still think I would be happier had I remained childless. I had a very happy, full life pre-parenthood, and raising DC is really draining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the "I always wanted them" folks:

But *why* did you want them? For what reason? I like kids too, I'm good with them, and have a strong maternal personality. But I don't want kids. Can those of you who say "because I always wanted them" elaborate on this?

I like babies and kids in general, and felt confident that I could be a reasonably good parent - provide a safe home, love, support, and nurturing.

Certainly, having children gives a certain structure and meaning to your life, but so do plenty of other things. (And there are no guarantees with children, so IMO future results are a bad reason to become a parent. Plenty of people pour their heart and soul into raising kids who grow up to disappoint, hurt, or reject their parents.)

Personally, I wanted the experience of raising a child, seeing the world through their eyes, and helping them grow into a confident and happy adult. I think there's something profound about being a parent - introducing a child to the world, guiding them through it, and seeing who they become. Can't find the quote right now, but Nora Ephron wrote beautifully about the experience of your adult children coming home to visit you, and being so astonished that you produced these amazing people. That's what I hope for myself, as a parent - to raise happy, healthy people who bring something good into the world.

[Anonymous]

I really never wanted kids but agreed to---- and now it is the best decision ever - I love my kids, they are amazing fun personalities and I can't imagine my life without them -- but i'm not into other people's kids.....

I had them because I love adventure - and I think having a kid seemed like an "adventure" at the time 10 years ago....

Happy I did have them!

[Anonymous]

We spent two years (after being married for three) really discussing if we wanted kids or not. My entire life I had not wanted them (same with DH.) But the more we thought about our future, the more we saw a third person in it - enjoying all of the adventures and wonderful things life has to offer along with us.

Now we have a very sweet six-month-old and on several occasions DH has said to me "I love her so much - I can't believe we almost didn't have her."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really aggravated me when people say they want child to "make the world a better place." How arrogant.

It's so refreshing to see so many responses admitting that it's simply an experience they didnt want to miss out on. Nothing wrong with that, it's a biologically driven instinct! That's why I did it.

I'm the poster who said that. I'm a really nice gal, devoted mom. I don't think my kids are going to make the world a worse place?

NP here. I read a quote by George Eliot that said "The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts." I think raising kind, contentious and loving children is just about the best thing we can do for the future of our species and the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It really aggravated me when people say they want child to "make the world a better place." How arrogant.

It's so refreshing to see so many responses admitting that it's simply an experience they didnt want to miss out on. Nothing wrong with that, it's a biologically driven instinct! That's why I did it.

I'm the poster who said that. I'm a really nice gal, devoted mom. I don't think my kids are going to make the world a worse place?

Sorry, I realized after I posted that I wrote "aggravated" instead of "aggravates". I meant it in a general term, just read the responses quickly. I don't want to attack any individual personally, but honestly, when most people who say this decide to have children, do they really think they are doing something completely selfless and altruistic for the world? In many cases (and not all, of course), they aren't. And that's okay too.