Wantng to marry a career oriented guy

Anonymous
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Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.


Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.


Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.


Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.


A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.


Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.


That's fine. I am a lawyer and feel the same way. The point is, we can support ourselves. Which IMO is an essential life skill regardless of whether you SAH.


Do you agree that if you stayed home, you could easily train for a job if anything happened to the marriage or to your husband? For example, my mother went to nursing school at 45 and makes 100k now as a manager.


"Easily"? No, I don't agree. I think it makes sense to build skills first, then have kids.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.


Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.


Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.


+1


Honestly, this makes no sense. If your eventuality is that you're going to be an SAHM, you should NOT go to graduate school unless your family is so wealthy that the expense is virtually unfelt to them. You certainly should not go into debt for it.

If you know that is what you want, you should absolutely just go for it. Tell men up front when you date them that is what you want. They can decide for themselves if that is how they see their lives.
Anonymous
At age 30 find an over 40s place, you are too old
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