Frozen Embies, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

But they are not asking you to help them. Those treatments are expensive. If you don't feel comfortable with the middleman (clinic) making all the money off your genetics that's fine. When your DE babies get older you might feel very differently about having someone else raise their siblings. I know I feel uncomfortable with it now while I felt ok about it then. The enmbies are their SIBLINGS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We paid close to $60K for those embies. The clinic required more parental testing and shipping costs. I felt that i had given enough money at the clinic already. We had daycare expenses.

Okay - so what did you do with the embryos?

[Anonymous]

I am curious -- I know many couples who have done IVF, and several who have used donor eggs, but I don't know anyone who used a donated embryo (that I know of, anyway). Are there really many parents who are interested in adopting embryos? It seems like trying for the genetic connection is part of why people do IVF, and I have trouble imagining that there are many potential adoptive families--but I really don't know.

[Anonymous]

We have 7 left from IVF and will donate to a couple once my current pregnancy is complete and that baby turns 1. We love the idea that we have enough embryos that a family who wants more than one kid would have a chance at having genetic siblings.

[Anonymous]

We had only one PGS tested embryo and I emailed a few couples looking to adopt embryos but no one responded. Then I gave up. And we let them thaw. I was uncomfortable with the thought of having a child of mine around and the fact that I didn't get a response kind of drove me over into the camp of not wanting to do it. I think couples don't want to go through the expense to only get one embryo to try with. I did ask Shady Grove (last month) if they could donate them for me and they said no. I also asked them about donating to research and they said no. I hope it is true PP that SG is going to offer more options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious -- I know many couples who have done IVF, and several who have used donor eggs, but I don't know anyone who used a donated embryo (that I know of, anyway). Are there really many parents who are interested in adopting embryos? It seems like trying for the genetic connection is part of why people do IVF, and I have trouble imagining that there are many potential adoptive families--but I really don't know.

yes, I know at least 4 couples who are either interested in this or have already done embryo adoption. in an earlier post i said that my (incredibly loving, wonderful as a mother) sister in law adopted two embryos and carried them to term; they are now my nieces. they maintain an open relationship with one donor- the other family they adopted from opted not to maintain a relationship, as far as i know. it depends on what the donor wants. one niece knows her biological siblings, visits once a year, and my sister in law and the other family have a good relationship. the embryo adoption has seemingly benefited everyone involved. Christians ( I am one) are particularly interested in embryo adoptions since they believe strongly that embryos are life, and many who have gone through IVF (or have not) appreciate this option. Here are some links that couples i know who were looking referenced: https://www.embryodonation.org/ and https://www.nightlight.org/snowflakes-embryo-donation-adoption/

[Anonymous]

Please stop saying embies.

[Anonymous]

I struggled with this too! Thankfully, I only had one to worry about. My husband would have felt fine donating it but I would always wonder too, about a part of us that is out there and not knowing if or knowing about their life. I didn't have any medical reason not to but felt obligated to give this thing we started a chance at life or something. it was really overwhelming at first (I am 43 and have 5 kids already and a grandchild! Two of my children are adults though so it's not like I have 5 little ones in the house. Anyway, we gave it a shot and I am 30 weeks along! Now I am looking forward to the baby and everyone else is excited as well. But 5 embryos is another story! There are agencies you can donate through where you can negotiate a certain amount of contact or info after the fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid close to $60K for those embies. The clinic required more parental testing and shipping costs. I felt that i had given enough money at the clinic already. We had daycare expenses.

Okay - so what did you do with the embryos?

Thawed them. Donating them to a clinic like Snowflakes would have cost another $2000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I struggled with this too! Thankfully, I only had one to worry about. My husband would have felt fine donating it but I would always wonder too, about a part of us that is out there and not knowing if or knowing about their life. I didn't have any medical reason not to but felt obligated to give this thing we started a chance at life or something. it was really overwhelming at first (I am 43 and have 5 kids already and a grandchild! Two of my children are adults though so it's not like I have 5 little ones in the house. Anyway, we gave it a shot and I am 30 weeks along! Now I am looking forward to the baby and everyone else is excited as well. But 5 embryos is another story! There are agencies you can donate through where you can negotiate a certain amount of contact or info after the fact.

Yikes. I'm picturing my embryos trying to find me later in life. All 20 of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I struggled with this too! Thankfully, I only had one to worry about. My husband would have felt fine donating it but I would always wonder too, about a part of us that is out there and not knowing if or knowing about their life. I didn't have any medical reason not to but felt obligated to give this thing we started a chance at life or something. it was really overwhelming at first (I am 43 and have 5 kids already and a grandchild! Two of my children are adults though so it's not like I have 5 little ones in the house. Anyway, we gave it a shot and I am 30 weeks along! Now I am looking forward to the baby and everyone else is excited as well. But 5 embryos is another story! There are agencies you can donate through where you can negotiate a certain amount of contact or info after the fact.

Yikes. I'm picturing my embryos trying to find me later in life. All 20 of them.

Oh for the love of God, we all know you have a gazillion embryos. Enough already.

[Anonymous]

This blog has a series about a couple who adopted embryos: http://www.hellobee.com/mrs-pickles-embryo-adoption-series/

Very interesting from the perspective of the adopting parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I struggled with this too! Thankfully, I only had one to worry about. My husband would have felt fine donating it but I would always wonder too, about a part of us that is out there and not knowing if or knowing about their life. I didn't have any medical reason not to but felt obligated to give this thing we started a chance at life or something. it was really overwhelming at first (I am 43 and have 5 kids already and a grandchild! Two of my children are adults though so it's not like I have 5 little ones in the house. Anyway, we gave it a shot and I am 30 weeks along! Now I am looking forward to the baby and everyone else is excited as well. But 5 embryos is another story! There are agencies you can donate through where you can negotiate a certain amount of contact or info after the fact.

Yikes. I'm picturing my embryos trying to find me later in life. All 20 of them.

Oh for the love of God, we all know you have a gazillion embryos. Enough already.

I hope the 20 embryo person realizes that unless they are pgs tested normal, statistically speaking maybe half of them are good. An embryo doesn't automatically mean thb. But we get you could be the IVF Duggar....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I struggled with this too! Thankfully, I only had one to worry about. My husband would have felt fine donating it but I would always wonder too, about a part of us that is out there and not knowing if or knowing about their life. I didn't have any medical reason not to but felt obligated to give this thing we started a chance at life or something. it was really overwhelming at first (I am 43 and have 5 kids already and a grandchild! Two of my children are adults though so it's not like I have 5 little ones in the house. Anyway, we gave it a shot and I am 30 weeks along! Now I am looking forward to the baby and everyone else is excited as well. But 5 embryos is another story! There are agencies you can donate through where you can negotiate a certain amount of contact or info after the fact.

Yikes. I'm picturing my embryos trying to find me later in life. All 20 of them.

I had 12 left from a proven donor and two already with genetic issues. I pictured that the laws would change, records would be opened or leaked (we found out who the anon donor was in 10 minutes) and a family suing us for some form of custody/ compensation later. Because this happened in CA. Privacy went right out the window. So we just went with donate to science.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This blog has a series about a couple who adopted embryos: http://www.hellobee.com/mrs-pickles-embryo-adoption-series/

Very interesting from the perspective of the adopting parents.

I must be missing something -- did the Pickles have a baby with donor embryo?