Frozen Embies, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

On some of the other boards women talk about embies, frosties, and follies. Gag me. We (women) are infantilizing OURSELVES when we talk like that. OP did not make these terms up, though -- they are very commonly used.

[Anonymous]

I'm not to this point yet (I might still want more kids) but I plan to donate to another couple. I love thinking about helping someone else who has the same desire I do (to have a baby) create a family they wouldn't otherwise be able to create. That thought gets me past any ick factor.

Of course, you have to do what makes you feel comfortable. That's very individual and personal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?

[Anonymous]

Struggling with this ourselves. Our frozen embryos are not tested and really, aren't even that great. They're from our first cycle where we did a three day transfer of a morula and an 8 cell embryo. Those were the "best" of the bunch and neither worked. We froze two four cells and two six cells from that cycle. Would anyone even want those? I don't even know. We're paralyzed with indecision. We need to make a decision thought. It's time. We're not having any more.

A co-worker's kids are 7 and 9 and they still just pay their bill faithfully every year for frozen storage for the same reason.

It's a struggle for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?

I am the first poster here with the 4 embies. I am a democrat if that helps. Ha. Oddly enough though, I am fairly religious and think all the embryos should have a chance and I would love to give another couple a chance at being parents. I also think carrying is an intimate experience and with what we know about epigenetic, the woman carrying the donated embryo would have a biological impact on the embryo's development. I think we could do a fairly interesting study (I am a trained researcher) to see if political affiliation has an impact or association but I would look at religion (sect), spirituality, age, and education level.

[Anonymous]

I really wanted to donate mine but never made a decision and years passed. Then I did not want to pay for the testing years later. Then my DH inherited some money and at the same time some genetic defects were discovered when my kids were older. So we felt that we might be exposed to risk / lawsuit if we let them be adopted. Not to mention the uncertainty to another couple. We opted for thaw in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?

I am the first poster here with the 4 embies. I am a democrat if that helps. Ha. Oddly enough though, I am fairly religious and think all the embryos should have a chance and I would love to give another couple a chance at being parents. I also think carrying is an intimate experience and with what we know about epigenetic, the woman carrying the donated embryo would have a biological impact on the embryo's development. I think we could do a fairly interesting study (I am a trained researcher) to see if political affiliation has an impact or association but I would look at religion (sect), spirituality, age, and education level.

So if neighbors on your street had your four embryos you'd be okay with this?

[Anonymous]

as a woman that didn't have anything to freeze (7 arrested before day 5) for my ivf cycle that worked (28 weeks after a 3 day fresh transfer) I would be hesitant to thaw and discard. We're very happy with one and done if that's what the cards have in store for us after all of these years but I won't lie that the thought of having to go through another egg retrieval after our miracle "first at bat, walk off home run" with this LO doesn't depress me beyond words. If the option to donate is avail I would probably lean very much towards that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why are we calling these things "embies" now? is it to make them seem cuter and therefore more human?

Arrested Development. Maybe they shouldn't be parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?

I am the first poster here with the 4 embies. I am a democrat if that helps. Ha. Oddly enough though, I am fairly religious and think all the embryos should have a chance and I would love to give another couple a chance at being parents. I also think carrying is an intimate experience and with what we know about epigenetic, the woman carrying the donated embryo would have a biological impact on the embryo's development. I think we could do a fairly interesting study (I am a trained researcher) to see if political affiliation has an impact or association but I would look at religion (sect), spirituality, age, and education level.

So if neighbors on your street had your four embryos you'd be okay with this?

If you choose to donate to another couple, do you not have any say in who they might go to. Is it a completely blind process from the donor's end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

So fascinating reading all these and I am looking at a sp em donor and confronting some of these issues re who is "dad" and who is donor. Honestly I was brought up that if they were your children, they were YOUR children. The birth mother was the mother. The donor was the father. Etc etc. I wonder if this is a republican/ democrat thing with republicans being nature and dems being nurture. Anyone else have thoughts on potential political influences?

I am the first poster here with the 4 embies. I am a democrat if that helps. Ha. Oddly enough though, I am fairly religious and think all the embryos should have a chance and I would love to give another couple a chance at being parents. I also think carrying is an intimate experience and with what we know about epigenetic, the woman carrying the donated embryo would have a biological impact on the embryo's development. I think we could do a fairly interesting study (I am a trained researcher) to see if political affiliation has an impact or association but I would look at religion (sect), spirituality, age, and education level.

So if neighbors on your street had your four embryos you'd be okay with this?

If you choose to donate to another couple, do you not have any say in who they might go to. Is it a completely blind process from the donor's end?

Yes. We have over 20 frozen pgs tested embryos. I'm assuming most of the donor eggs would go to recipients in the DC area. It's scary to think there could be 20 of our children out there should we decide to donate. So we aren't

[Anonymous]

Donate! You could potentially be giving another family a huge blessing. Please OP, donate them...give them a chance at life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Donate! You could potentially be giving another family a huge blessing. Please OP, donate them...give them a chance at life.

Not everyone is comfortable with having other people raise their biological children. What if the adoptive parents are abusive or are the opposite of you (religion, vaxxing, whatever you feel strongly about)? I would feel too much responsibility towards the embryos just to give them to whomever and wonder these things for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Donate! You could potentially be giving another family a huge blessing. Please OP, donate them...give them a chance at life.

Not everyone is comfortable with having other people raise their biological children. What if the adoptive parents are abusive or are the opposite of you (religion, vaxxing, whatever you feel strongly about)? I would feel too much responsibility towards the embryos just to give them to whomever and wonder these things for years.

+1 The sting of just thawing them out passes, but I would always wonder ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four embies left. I was sort of tempted to PGS them and then decide. I would like to have another one--I have IVF twins already. We have talked about putting them up for adoption to give another couple a chance to be parents. I don't view it as my children being out there. Yes, they are my genetic material but another woman would carry them and she would be "Mom" from day one. All this said, I don't think anyone would want to adopt my embies because one of my twins had a rare error in cell division that caused a very, very rare syndrome. It is not genetic but I don't think people will understand it and would elect not to choose the embies. I think this is another reason I might just transfer all of them--not at once!--and perhaps have them PGS tested to make it easier. I don't know if this is helpful. 5 embies is a lot!

Wow, of all choices I would no choose this one. What is you had twins or more?